bonehead Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 If the BS doesn't know that an affair is ongoing, they are going about the business of being married. If the BS does know that an affair is ongoing, maybe they are biding their time, deciding what they want to do. Agreed, but while they are deciding are they giving their " Silent approval " ? ( I know they are NOT approving, but could the WS be seeing is that? ) A lot of noise is made about what the BS does or doesn't do during or after the affair. Personally, I don't think that it is anyone's business except the ones that made the vows. How many OPs complain that the non-others here keep telling them to get out of no-win situations when they didn't come for that advice? Well the same goes for the BSs. Its THEIR M, and no one elses. The decisions that are to be made are no one else's but those involved in the M. Not even the kids can MAKE the decision. Maybe influence it, but not make it. Theres so much noise on this subject Keith Moon would have been proud!!! It isnt anyone elses business. But the WS does to a point make it the OPs business. If we like it or not the OP does end up with an emotional stake in the outcome. Its not something the BS would want to admit or see, just as the OP doesnt want to see the full aspect of the marriage between the MP and BS. It is so easy to be on either side of the fence. I wouldn't want to be on either by choice though, but I certainly understand how it happens. I exist because of two affairs. Just about every woman in my life has been an OW, knowing or not. I don't hate any of them. They are some of the strongest and smartest women I have ever met. But, most of the ones I know also don't set out to get some married guy. I really dont think ANYONE wakes up and says " Im going to find a MM/MW and start a relationship with them today. " But ya never know. lol PM? Link to post Share on other sites
pureinheart Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 I did see signs but couldn't understand what was going on. Needless to say, it made me suspicious and start to question. This only made things worse between us, pushing him further towards the unknown party. It was a terrible situation, one I can guarantee I would never put onto anyone else. You can't put the onus on someone who is flailing around in the dark not knowing what's going on. Women's intuition only works so well... Yes, it's called trusting your partner. Personally I wouldn't want to spend my marriage in suspicion, what's the point.....one time played the detective game, wasted time, they will do what they're going to do anyway. Policing WS is demeaning to me. This really disgusted me then, and does even more now....I asked MM what would happen if W found out, his reply: "Well, I would have to play the game for awhile, but as soon as her back is turned." Doesn't that sound like what kids say to their friends when they're on restriction!!!!!???? How pathetic....... Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 This really disgusted me then, and does even more now....I asked MM what would happen if W found out, his reply: "Well, I would have to play the game for awhile, but as soon as her back is turned." I had a reply, but lost my train of thought....... Cold meds Link to post Share on other sites
Author NoIDidn't Posted December 4, 2006 Author Share Posted December 4, 2006 Check your profile and see if you can enable them now. At 100 posts or so, you should be able to start sending and receiving "Private Messages". I feel you on the cold meds. I keep forgetting what thread I am in, so not posting much. Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 I sent ya one I think Link to post Share on other sites
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