LuckyCharm Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 Hi all! so here it goes, my bf and I have been together for a year and 2 months, we love each other very much and would like to get married one day... we just moved to Canada nearly a month ago, i'm American and he's from Latvia. we both don't have working permits yet although he did start working since we're running out of money. people from all around always assume we're married and even tell us we should get married here in Canada since are chances then would be higher in getting a working permit and getting my bf a citizenship for the States (he's not allowed into america...). he says he would like us to get married after he finishes school (which he'll only start next year) (he's almost 25). I called my mom today and talked to her and now she's even saying if we run into diffeculties we should get married so we can live in the States and my bf would be able to work there legaly...i told her we're not gonna get married but she said we can just go to some judge get married and some day have a bigger wedding.... right i don't know what to think about it, since if we were to get married it would only be because we wanted to spend the rest of our lives together and already do just as gf & bf for now. my mom says it's not a bad thing since people do it all the time, i have an aunt who did it and she and her husband have been married for over 20 years with 2 beautifull kids. but on the other hand it's kind of insalting when people tell us we should get married so it will make it easier on our situation so my question is, how do you guys feel about this? has any one even done this? do you think it's o.k? at first i thought it was such a wacky idea but since lots of people are doing it and it seems like it's the norm now i don't know what to think any more... please give me your opinions on this. thanks:) Link to post Share on other sites
adnCat Posted December 1, 2006 Share Posted December 1, 2006 If you guys want to get married, and you are going to do it someday anyway, I don't see a problem in doing it now. I used to work with someone who did just that. Her student/work (I can't remember which it was) was about to run out, and she would have to leave the states if she did not gain citizenship right away. She and her boyfriend had been together for a while at that point and already knew that wanted to marry one another. They had a quick civil ceremony at city hall. I think 6-12 months later, they had a big ceremony & reception. Actually, they got married by the Catholic church the second time, so they really did get married twice, if that makes sense. I have a feeling that some of the guest thought the second, Catholic, ceremony was the one and only wedding ceremony they'd had. As long as the legal situation is why you are doing it now, and not why you would do it regardless, I don't see the problem! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Getting married isn't the end all be all when it comes to immagration, it doesn't make things as easy as it would seem and I have known several people who have been married for YEARS and are still fighting for the person to get to be a legal citizen. Doing the "married" thing and actually being married are often times two different things, also a year isn't that long together, if he wasn't allowed in the states and you just moved to Canada have you had a LDR before? I think that you should get your lives in order long before you get married, and that your boyfriend has the right idea. Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted December 2, 2006 Share Posted December 2, 2006 Yeah people do it all the time. If it comes down to marring him or having to move back to Latvia you need to decide where you would like to raise your family. If your happy in Canada stay there and live your lives. Link to post Share on other sites
abc3 Posted December 4, 2006 Share Posted December 4, 2006 hey, i am from latvia too (i am a girl). if he is not pressurising you for marriage - i think he really loves you. if he would only want marriage for the papars - he would be talking / convincing/ pressuring you a lot. if he only mentioned that it definately is a good sign. (for you) east european guys are not nice to date, but there are always exemptions.. good luck Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 east european guys are not nice to date I 2nd that (Belive me, I'm Russian). If you found a good one, thats great! But yeah make sure hes not just trying to get papers, people do that **** ALL the time, you have no clue, they will lie about everything to get papers, just be sure hes real. Link to post Share on other sites
everchanging7822 Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 I think the case with your guy is that he wants first to feel well off and on his feet and then think of other responsibilities because marriage for him is responsibility.He seems a hard working guy who is definately not after the papers.He made it to Canada and works hard.I think if he wanted he would have married you in the US and not bother about going to Canada and working. To me he is a responsible guy who trusts only himself and would not marry unless he is sure he can provide for you .In my opinion he is not after the papers.If he was he would have married you by now. Link to post Share on other sites
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