DJ RB Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 The past few weeks have been really terrible for me...Some background, Im 25 wife is 23. Been married 5 years and 2 kids. We were seperated last year for a few months, but we got back together (after too much drama!). But few weeks ago we moved out of our apartment and into a house, mainly to have more of a family lifestyle and just better our lives...Theres been somewhat of an ongoing argument between me and her talking to one of her ex-bestfriends husband (supposedly they are good friends) and few days ago I guess his wife has been pretty pissed about it too with him. So that was one thing constantly nagging us...(read older post) Another is past couple weeks it seems like everytime I try to call my wife she never answers her cell phone. Now I admit she'll call back but usually like an hour later, which for what reason I did call is gone. Now Ive looked at the phone bill and it shows shes on it constanly, I mean she had over 1300 text messages in one month, thats over 30 a day. Plus when were together she always seems to be able to answer it when someone else calls. So every few days I got mad at her because of it and usually I doubt her and tell her (sarcasticly) I dont believe what excuse she gives at the time. I.E. I was in laundry room, I had it on silent, turned off etc...And Ive caught her before lying. So basiccly a few days ago we got into a big blown out fight and she got mad and said she couldnt take it, she doesnt want to be with me, Im never satisfied etc...Now I know the only time I make comments to her are: about the phone and her tendancy to have an abundance of male friends...But yet when we get into fights she makes comments how Im "never" satisfied or "always" complaining. So now I feel hurt, mad, etc. Because we allready went through seperation over a year ago, moved back together, Working on the marrige and even talking about more kids and now moved into a house. And now Im in debt .But now she doesnt want to be together...Im really tired of the up and down in our marrige and moving around...The bad thing for me is even though we have all this drama in our marrige I would like nothing more than to be together and live life happily...But I dont think she feels that way. I try to be a "man" and think well I cant make somebody want me so Ill just move on. But then night comes or Im alone, or really anywhere I start thinking about it and go back to "lets work this out" with her. Theres other things like her tendancy to party a lot and flirt which add into my smart remarks (which is my way of complaining). That fit in. Lastly I feel like she has so many male friends that give her all "their" advice and feels like if she leaves me than she can just go too someone else. Like Im privilged to be with her. Jeez I dont even know what to think. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 She sounds like she needs to grow up, be a wife and a mother, get her priorities straight. IF there are problems in the marriage, then both of you need to go to marriage counselling to make it work! Not only for your kids, but for you two!! It sounds like you love your wife, alot. And I'm sure she loves you too, but needs to understand what marriage, and the relationship between a husband and wife share. Her actions are showing she isn't paying attention to that bond. It needs nurtishing daily. Suggest counselling, and open up to her. Hopefully she'll listen and learn how to change her behaviour. You both need to understand, communicate and listen to eachother to make things work. No effort put in will only make the relationship stand still and not grow. Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 Hi DJ, I'd just like to say a couple of things... First of all, there is nothing wrong with having opposite sex friends, and you getting all fussy about that comes out as controlling...look if she's gonna cheat on you she can always find a way, male friends or not The second thing is...you need to decide to either trust her or distrust her, think she's cheating and move on...maybe hire a private eye or play one yourself if you think she's cheating and lying to you... Link to post Share on other sites
Author DJ RB Posted December 3, 2006 Author Share Posted December 3, 2006 Well I guess some would say its controlling as would I a few years ago, but one of the reasons we sepertated before was because she did cheat on me w one of her "friends"...Then of course I got the story how it didnt happen llike that... Link to post Share on other sites
CardPlay3r Posted December 3, 2006 Share Posted December 3, 2006 Ouch well that changes things...looks like she's using you and you love her too much to face the truth eh? I'd say better find out if she is still cheating/lying and divorce her if she is...better to suffer for a few months than constanly for years or the rest of your life right? Link to post Share on other sites
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