Maximizing my potential?

[Guest]

This post is about personal growth, and being myself.

 

Somehow I feel like I'm limiting myself by being friends with the people I'm friends with. Their friendships are great, we can talk, laugh, have fun, and do things we share interest in, having history makes it easy being friends.

 

I'm 22, i live in a big city and go to college to and from home. I might be limiting myself from growth compared to if i went away for college. But learning to cook and having to pay my bills can come next year when i move out.

Nevertheless I have never stopped striving for personal growth, I always believe it doesnt matter where you are or who you're with but as long as you are open-minded and open to growth, the faster does one mature (based from bad and good experiences of life).

 

It's taken me years, but i believe I'm finally comfortable in my own skin and around others. I can be myself around women/men and strangers alike. For me, personally i find i get along better with people on a higher maturity level.

The reason why i dont say age, is becuase age doesnt always equate maturity. people can be in their 30's and still be immature/indecisive.

 

So here's the problem:

I have 2 close friends, both have insecurities. One is 22, roughly he's not doing anything in his life, nor is he pushing himself in any area in life. At heart he's still a big kid...a lot of times it gets frustrating hanging with him because he can be pretentious. The thing that bugs me the most are people who cant be themselves or put on an act for others.

He never wants to try anything new or go to bars. I'm the opposite, i like trying new places and having a drink every now and then. he stays home mostly so he hasnt changed much since h.s.

 

Another friend who's 27, he's somewhat set for life, he has a steady job and pays his own way when we hangout. After we graduate next summer we're planning to be roomies. He's semi-interested in doing new things, he's up for travel as much as me.

He's OK with going out for drinks (rarely if ever). But what bugs me is at times he can be indecisive/worrisome. And when we go for drinks, he wants a bar that's probably quiet where we have our personal space to talk + drink.

He's a bit of a nice guy, and i know he has strong morals, but i feel he's mentally holding himself back from his true self. He's a bit of a stiff so again at times i feel like im dealing with a kid because he winds up making excuses for not following through.

 

As for me, i can be a sociable guy. at times i prefer my personal space and at other times i enjoy meeting interesting new people. more often than not i find i get along better with people older than me, purely for the maturity level.

 

I have to say that i attract the strangest people. the ones who are insecure/ still trying to figure out who they are, come to me for advice/open up to me...but regardless i give encouragement to them.

 

Am i limiting my growth potential by not expanding my horizons by hanging out with a different crowd? (with people who ARE comfortable in their own skin)

Am i limiting my growth by hanging out with my current friends?

If so where do i go about finding such people with the same outlook on life that i have?

[Trialbyfire]

As you progress in life, you'll find that most people are insecure and needy at times, no matter how together they present themselves. If you're a strong and positive person you will attract those who maybe moreso than others. If you truly enjoy their company and you know they will be there for you when you need something, it's never a bad thing to have good friends.

 

As for branching out, it's not a bad idea. Exposure to others can only be a good learning experience and more opportunity to grow and gain more good friends.

 

Just don't forget about your original friends, if they're real friends. To this day, my closest friends are the ones I went to highschool with, although I've acquired a number of good friends along the way, and a number of casual friends.

[Guest]

It's not your job to manage others' lives. If you can enjoy their company without spending your time figuring out how they 'should' live their lives, you'll do yourself and them a big favour.

 

I'm glad you feel you're so great. Understand that others may have a different opinion both of you and of themselves. Learning to let go is another task of maturing. As is being less judmental. I suggest you continue on your road towards maximizing your potential.