Should I Make a Move?

[Nufc1892]

Hi

 

I have friend who i work with who i really like and she appears to like me too, but i worried about making a move in case i ruin our friendship. When i am around her either at work or out socially with work people she pretty much gives me 100% attention. She likes teasing me and competing against me. I am not a "touchy feely" person but ocassionally when she teases me i have squeezed her hips and she has never said anything about it or stopped teasing me she normally just giggles and carrie on.

 

Part of me has always thought that this is just what she is like once you get to know her and she feels confortable around you as she seems shy. However over the last couple of weeks she has told me that i am the only person she likes to tease and compete with.

 

A few weeks ago i was up in london with a mate and i new my friend from work was also up town and he suggested i text her and ask if she would like to meet for a drink with some of her mates. She did not reply (though she normally does) and today at work when we were talking about our respective weekends she did not mention my text ( i'm pretty sure i sent it).

 

Like me she seems quite shy and private but when we are alone she seems to like going great detail about her life outside of work, friends , family interests etc. I'm pretty sure that she does not tell other people at work about her private life in as much detail as she tells me.

 

When we have been out with work people and get time alone we have long conversation about our lives away from work yet when the others return she quickly finnishes the conversation and either stops talking or changes the subjec to something we all have in common.

 

This makes me feel a bit uneasy as it must be really obvious to the others that we stop chatting as soon as they come over. I even get the feeling that our work mates are somewhat reluctant to go out with us as they feel that we only invite them as an afterthought and that they interrupt our romantic evening ( alot of people in our office have made comments about us fancying each other) and i would not want to loose out on a good friendship group just because of the way the two of us act around each other.

 

About a month ago i started a new job in the office where we work. As a result of my new job i sit in a different area of the office. For the first few weeks we did not get so much time on our own as we used to, the week before last we only saw each other to spewak to once.

 

Last week she asked me if there was room next to me for her to sit and i said yes. She has spent the whole of this week sitting next to me because where we used to sit is "too cold". She has a point because the room we work in is heavilly air conditioned and where i used to sit was quite cold but apparenty she never realised this untill the other week.

 

This is very similar to when she used to make excuses as to why she did not want to go to the office and have lunch with our colleagues as she did not need to go there other than to have lunch, although again she had never mentioned this as a problem before. As a result we ended up going to lunch together alot.

 

A few times i have asked her if she would like to go shopping or to the cinema etc but she has been unable to go as she already had things planned, which she then tells me all about, and she never suggests another time to go which makes me think she is not that interested.

 

Sorry if that was a bit long but i am really confused and would like some advice

[norajane]

Why don't you ask her out like this: I'd love to take you to dinner - when are you free?

[aGuest]

Dude sounds abit like a situation i have..

and my situation has been going on for like 6 months.

 

She enjoys your company and spends time with you and she doesn't mind you touching her so i get the vibe she trusts you a lot. The part about her asking you personal questions and then others come in and she changes to convo sounds pretty much like what my crush does.. i think its something to do with her hiding her feelings.. she doesn't want them to know or find out that you both have something for each other. You say shes quite the private person right? Like i said my crush is exactly the same.

 

don't know if i understood this next part but..

well the text bit sounds weird but she might just be

1) really shy so didn't want to mention it. Maybe she didnt want other people beside just you and her to be there? She wants yours and her relationship to be private and she doesnt want all her friends to know.

2) she didnt recieve it.

3) she didnt text back because she had no credit or because she just wasnt interested.

 

However from what else you have said it seems like she has some sort of interest in you , i mean my crush starts convos about stuff like where my parents work n stuff (i dunno why), it just seems weird.

And when im not around she just asks my friend questions about me when im not there (maybe you should be absent or distant but not avoid and see if she realises).

 

I think being colleagues also makes her and you want the attraction to be private so nothing bad happens. You have to remember (same goes for me because my crush is a colleague also) if they find out about you and her gettin together it might be trouble and it could affect your work. That could be whats going through her head more than yours.

 

haha and it seems she wanted to move rooms just to spend time with you, thats the impression i get anyway. My crush did the same except she said the other room is noisy then came to me because my room was quiet haha.

If you ask me im starting to pick up female hints alot atm and thats defo one of them right there. And also she is spending lunch with you so she defo likes to be around you thats for sure

 

I have also asked my crush if she would like to go out one or twice and she had reasons but she never said no and said nothing else. To me i think you should ask her when a good time for you two to go out is.

She might be hoping you'll plan an alternative question so you need to say "when are you next free" or "would you like to go out another time then"

 

The bottom line is she does like you, you just have to push her until you both go out together, she is hesitant probably because she doesn't want other to know. Just try go out together sometime. Good luck

 

Ps: And no worries, this sounds much like my problem atm, id like to hear how it goes

[MTK]

OK, I've got a question about it all. I had been talking to a girl for about 2 1/2 months. We're open about everything, never brought up dating or anything like that. She's mentioned an ex or two here and there, but we never put our friendship down or possible dating until last Sunday night. I told her that I had liked her since we played on a coed team together, and had thought there might be something between us and wanted to clarify what was really between us. I mean, I'd say there was definately flirting going on, but she told me that she just got done with two relationships where the guys were "psycho" (-coming from the mouth of a 19 yr. old) and wasn't looking for anything now, and she considers me to be one of her best guy friends here at school. Meanwhile, her female friend said I was #2 on her list and another girl she's friends with said that I should go for her.

 

I mean, we talked all that time and hung out together, but never brought up our friendship or dating stance until the other night. I don't want to be a total jerk to her, but I think she's not interested at this point/or maybe it's gonna take some time for her to figure it out. I haven't talked to her since and was wondering if I should?...

Thanks,

[Guest]

hmm i think you'll just know deep down whether she really likes you, from what i am hearing she might be looking for the right guy but just isnt accepting that guy into her life just yet.

 

if she is wanting a serious long term relationship she will probably know a few guys that pop into her mind but she may not be sure which guy to choose.

when you said her mate said your #2 did you mean the 2nd guy? it could be that she still speaks to her ex abit and considers him no.1 still or maybe its someone else?

 

i think you should speak to her though, dont let anything change the way you act towards her. just act like you always do. But never be pushy, if you have brought up being bf and gf a few times and she might not feel up to it atm, bringing it up over and over is more likely to put her off. Let her figure out herself what she wants. Be there for her, show that you like her.

 

Like i said you'll just know.. if she likes you.

some people think people like them when they are just being overly friendly.

You have to look at everything, how they treat you, i dont mean to sound blunt or negative but she may just be flirty with 'everyone' and flirting isnt necessarily a way to show someone likes you.

 

My definition of my girl liking me (she doesnt really flirt much)

 

We get on through talking and helping eachother to do things. She slips hints but she doesnt flirt madly with me yet i know she likes me.

If she is speaking to you or about you and asking questions about your personal life she is doing that because she likes you. If she is always wondering what your doing and where you are.. and is thinking about you 'always' then she likes you. If she has been single for ages and is still single and turns down guys but spends most her free time with you she probably likes you. If she acts weirdly she likes you, if she ignores you she likes you. If she is nice one day and distant the other she likes you.

 

Believe me girls who like you are more likely to be like the above because they have inconsistant moods, she isn angry one day with you for no reason is another sign she likes you.

 

a girl being friendly everyday consistantly doesnt mean they like you unless they kiss you or something.. i'd say they are being good friends. If they do like you they'll come to you.

 

all im saying is i dont believe flirting (teasing n touching) always mean they like you tbh, some girls/guys are just like that in a friendly way.