Mom brags about me to others...Frustration!

[Guest]

I don't know what it is about my mom but lately I've been the subject of her bragging to friends/relatives, whether its over the phone or if they are visiting..especially if visiting.

 

i.e.: I'm about to head out to run some errands or after i return from the errand, before or after, she brags about me to others and what im about to do/did...this is everytime especially if people are in the presence.

This afternoon i go back from taking some pictures of scenery for one of my projects...my aunt/cousin are sitting on the sofa. I put my camera on the table and walk away..and she goes over and say "careful with the camera. my son had to take pictures for his project, the camera costs a few hundred."

 

In the past we'd get into arguments almost every month about one thing or another, but not related to this.

 

Now we don't have arguments at all and this mushy/gloating side of her is getting pretty annoying. I don't know, maybe it's her age or she's becoming kind of grandmotherly or something...i just want her to stop making me the subject of her gloating. My dad isn't the subject, neither is my sister, but it's always me. I don't know what to do, i haven't the heart to be cruel and tell her to shutup, what do i do?

[coco_milkshake]

My mum takes every opportunity to put me down, I would prefer to be in your situation rofl.

[quankanne]

being around a person who likes to brag is not easy to handle, especially when you happen to be their favorite subject to brag about. As hard as it is, try to remember that she's proud of you when you pull her aside and gently explain that this makes you uncomfortable. Tell her as often as you need to, and in the meantime, just be the easy going guy your family likes. Because as long as YOU don't buy into the bragging and start being puffed up, others will understand that this is just your mom seeking attention at your discomfort.

[shenana_bananigans]

You sound very over-sensitve.

 

If this is your worst problem, you are a lucky person.

[CardPlay3r]

Well, have you talked to her about it?

[riobikini]

Oh my.

 

(Sighing, smiling, shaking head, wishing you could read your own post from where many others are sitting right now.)

 

I have to agree with the other posters who are reminding you of what a wonderful dilemma you are in.

 

It took at least 25 years before my mother ever said a single word that sounded truly positive where I was concerned (that's more than half my life, at this point.)

 

I *do* understand that you are hearing "unneccessary" and excessive commentary, or perhaps, even nearly untruths in what your mother is saying about you -but let her say it, anyway; she's saying "I love you", with every syllable.

 

-Rio

[quankanne]

I dunno, I've got to agree with guest on this post, especially when the person doing the bragging has already been known to irritate others by the bragging, and you're not the kind who wants attention. I grew up with a daddy that bragged about everything, so when i was the subject of his bragging, it made me very, very uncomfortable. Now he's an old fart and I let him get away with it, but not without my trying to focus on bragging about his grandkids. When i got married, my husband tried to do this until I explained how uncomfortable it made me and got him to agree to hold back on the bragging unless it truly was an accomplishment that I achieved and I wasn't around to hear him brag about it.

 

there's attention, and there's good attention.

[Guest]

I dunno, I've got to agree with guest on this post, especially when the person doing the bragging has already been known to irritate others by the bragging, and you're not the kind who wants attention. I grew up with a daddy that bragged about everything, so when i was the subject of his bragging, it made me very, very uncomfortable. Now he's an old fart and I let him get away with it, but not without my trying to focus on bragging about his grandkids. When i got married, my husband tried to do this until I explained how uncomfortable it made me and got him to agree to hold back on the bragging unless it truly was an accomplishment that I achieved and I wasn't around to hear him brag about it.

 

there's attention, and there's good attention.

 

You seem to understand, thats my point she's using me to irritate others (consciously or not). I feel like she's using me to compete with others within the area.

 

but that's only part of the bigger problem. My mom has been unemployed for quite a long while so she has a lot of free time at home. My dad doesnt know or care about anything that's going on or cares to be a man for that matter. My bro moved away after graduating. She used to go to him all the time for advice, but since he's harder to reach...I've taken that position.

if she needs insight/advice in something she'll come to me usually...but looking at the situation it's probably a bad thing im still living at home since i am more accessible to her so called 'rants'.

 

More recently she's been smothering me with attention and gets nosey up into my business no matter what im doing. In short, she has too much time on her hands and i think I've become her source of 'purpose' sorta speak.

 

My only child friend still lives with his single mom, if you ask me he's almost married to her because they do a lot of things together. I dont want that to happen to me or become a victim of my mom's boredom.