Motoman23 Posted December 5, 2006 Share Posted December 5, 2006 Over a month ago my ex gf decided to end our 3 and a half year realtionship because she was very confused and needed to take a break. In that time I have tried my best to keep minimum contact to help myself heal. However, I have seen her twice since then and been to her apartment. She still has most of our pictures up (took down 3-4 of them with us kissing) and has all of the roses up that I gave her in our relationship. She still sleeps with the stuffed animals I gave her and even wears the ring and necklace I gave her when we were in love! What does all this mean? I really feel that if she hasn't moved on it is preventing me from moving on. Am I looking too far into things or is she just at peace with her decision? Any advice on what she's doing and what I should do to help myself move on would be appreciated! Thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
KarlCox Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 it means you think too much... Link to post Share on other sites
tikigods Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 you need to stop worring about what she is or isn't doing that would be the first step to moving on. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck2006 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 I disagree with these two. I do agree that you need to move on with your life but that doesn't mean you have to give up on your love for her. Photos, stuffed animals, jewellry..if you add up all these things then maybe she still has love in her heart. That's just my opinion. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck2006 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Actually they are right..sorry guys I kind of misread. In order for you to have a chance with your ex you need to move on and get a life. It doesn't mean you can't try and get back with her. But don't be needy...just lover her 100 percent. Okay that's better. Link to post Share on other sites
silentalways Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 what type of necklace is it? can u describe it? is there one picture u liked the best? i recently did a painting of someone and i wish i could give it to her sigh what's wrong with me? Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 sigh what's wrong with me? Several things. You seem to link your happiness with being with her. I can understand being depressed and such. You need to go through the normal grieving process. However, you need to take the focus off what she is doing. It doesn't matter anymore and you can not control it. The only thing you control on this planet is yourself and what's within your boundaries. Other people are OUTSIDE your boundary. What happened in the past, the gifts you gave her, the photos, etc. Those things do not matter anymore. That was the past. Focus on YOUR future and what you can control. Try and shut the past out because focusing on the past leads to anxiety and suffering. Why? Because we WISH we could change the past but the reality is it's done and over with. Nothing you do or say will change that. Start hanging out with friends. Go to the gym and work out, find some new/fun/exciting hobbies and focus on improving yourself where you can. Hey I know it sucks but if you hang on forever hoping she's going to come around you'll just delay your own healing. Do what is best for you, here and now. Link to post Share on other sites
lost06 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 im pretty sure that she still cares, because when me and my ex ended up breaking up i got rid of everything cuz i just didnt want him to think i still care by keeping those things around....i feel that u really need to give her some time, and let her think for a while...it might take her months, so dont give up if u truly love her...other than that if u feel ready to date other ppl...go for it, this actually might make her realize that she might never get a chance to get back w/ u again....it works sometimes...only if u act like u really like this new girl...but if she notices that ur just trying to make her jelaous it wont work hon...ok?thats all from me ciao Link to post Share on other sites
Author Motoman23 Posted December 8, 2006 Author Share Posted December 8, 2006 Thanks for all of your replies guys... To give you a little update, she called me earlier this week (Tuesday) and I did not answer. I have been taking the advice on the other threads and called her back Wednesday evening. We spoke briefly and decided to meet up for lunch today. Well I called her today around noon to find out that she was too "busy" today to go out. She texted me saying "I'm sorry, this class work is ruling my life now." Bunch of bull**** if you ask me since I know she went to the bars last night and could of got it done. So obviously, I am not a priority right now. I guess the best thing to do is just ignore her and move on, which I am doing. We'll see where we are after she contacts me next. I know she'll probably call within the next week, do I answer? I'm confused because I'm reading the book, "How to get your lover back" and it says to let her know that you care, but don't be needy. I thought lunch was saying that I care, but I guess it's going to take many many more positive events? Forget her and move on? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Well I called her today around noon to find out that she was too "busy" today to go out. She texted me saying "I'm sorry, this class work is ruling my life now." this is what happens when you do NOT practice NC.. you gave her the power by calling her and keeping in contact with her.. Stop it... Go NC and she will be following you around.. By the way NC means No Contact.. that means NO CONTACT. and NO CONTACT means NO CONTACT.. And not for a day or 2.. you have to change your life to not revolve around talking to her.. Go a few weeks of NC and see what she does.. But do not be at her beck and call.. Link to post Share on other sites
BannaBee57 Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 My first post here was was along the same lines as this one. My ex broke up with me at the end of July after 2.5 years together. We had to get together to clean out the apartment and turn the keys in at the end of August. Before he got there I looked in a couple boxes to see what he was taking with him and saw that he had a naked (hehe) pic of me in there that he always kept in his nightstand drawer . I almost took it because I wondered why he kept it, and I didn't want anyone else to find it. Then, I noticed that he had taken the one really good picture of us down. It was professionally done at his company's Christmas party last year. I asked him if he had taken it (because I was thinking he had thrown it away) and he said, "No, it's at my new place". Of course, this made me think that he might still care about me. Then, a few hours later he opened up his wallet to put something in it and I saw that my picture was still in the little picture part. It made my heart skip a beat. I thought this was a for sure sign that he still wanted me. It had me thinking for weeks that he would come back to me when he came to his senses. The reason I am telling you this is because I asked everyone on here what they thought and they said it meant nothing. The pic of me in his wallet probably didn't even register to him anymore and he forgot it was even there, the naked one was probably just in with everything else in his nightstand so he just dumped it in the box, and the Christmas party one was just nice and he probably wanted to remember the good time he had that night. Well, anyway we've been broken up for over 5 months now and he's made no attempt to get me back and there hasn't even been much friendly contact between us. Yet, I still can't get these thought out of my mind. I would say your best bet is to really try to move on and not think about these little things. They will just eat at you. I'm still struggling with this. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
luvtoto Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 If I went over to my x-fiance's house tonight, I would still find pics of me up...even in his blazer. Every card I ever gave him is probably still in his nightstand by his bed. How do I know this. I've been over there in the last year and was quite shocked! We hadn't seen each other for at least an entire year before that. I could let that mess with my head, but in all honesty...he isn't knocking down my door to be with me. He isn't here, nor have I heard from him. So, basically all that doesn't mean crap. He's not still in love with me. Maybe it's just a sentimental thing. Maybe he's just too damn lazy to put it away. However, I have everything he ever gave me, pics and what not...hidden in my basement somewhere. Not a trace of him in my house. However, I would jump his bones in a NY minute!! Link to post Share on other sites
BannaBee57 Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 Well, if my pic was still in my ex's wallet today I would have to wonder... He doesn't really keep stuff like that...he likes to keep things pretty streamlined. I guess no one knows what is going on in the minds of their ex. But, I don't think it means much that the pics are still up after a month. Maybe she just thinks she looks hot in them...thats a typical girl thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
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