suspicious of my bf doing coke

[moogy512]

im new to this site but ive been really nervouse about my boyfriend lately. I think he is doing coke. He tried it the first time one year ago and promised me he would never do it again, little did I know, that was a lie. I would say he did it 4 times after that and then I thought he had stopped. A year later (which is present day) I'm getting those old feelings back like he is doing it again. He has been extremely moody and unreasonable. His nose is running a lot lately and he is not eating near as much as he used to, ( he has a hugeee appetite). He's been listening to a cd full of songs about coke, and he's been telling me how he thinks it's not that bad, and lots of celebritites do it. What really got me nervous, is just the other day I heard the water running in the bathroom and I pushed the door open a little and he told me to get out because he was peeing but then I heard a deep sniff and he quickly opened the door. I don't know if I imagined this but when he went to blow his nose i saw a little white powder come out. He denied it, but I can't sleep, eat ..I am a wreck about this. Please let me know what you think.

[CardPlay3r]

I think you answered your own question...pretty obvious he is...guess you should leave him there isn't much you can do to help him since he's lying about it

[silentalways]

if i may add my 2 cents, speaking as someone who is an addict [gawd that really looks great on my resume - lol] it is obvious he is using and if u love this man help him as much as u can because i made the mistake a while back of thinking i could 'use' that to fight off depression and because i had never been addicted to anything before and u make really lousy judgement calls and decisions when depressed before i knew it i was addicted and i will have to deal with this the rest of my life. it is a dangerous horrible drug and will kill u. as for the lying, i did that too because i was an idiot, it was a dealbreaker for the ex and i didn't want to lose her once i realized i was addicted, and most importantly i just wasn't being honest with her and myself and that is just an enabler - keeps u using. what i did was admit it and actually walked up to old mom and dad and told them - such a proud moment in my life. and one last thing, just because he is using don't treat him like a loser dude because i don't know anyone that 'wants' to be addicted and at my meeting i have seen and spoken to 55 year old men, 19 year old women, a complete cross section of society, some with amazing jobs, others with kids, and the common link is they made a mistake and are correcting it. personally, since i have admitted my addiction, everyone and their dawg looks at me differently and doubts things i say - but, hey that's life - those that continue to not 'see' me and only that are gone. but i'll tell u one thing, when u hit rock [no pun intended] on that stuff and i have, u wake up fast and its ironic because i had to go for an assessment today and needed to get the records from when i was 'seen' in the hospital and when u see a report that talks about u in these ways [form 1, etc.] it is an eye opener. so, last word, please help him because coke is not weed or hash, it can and will kill u.

 

another comment-i was using during a relationship and it sucked the soul out of me because if i could do that i was capable of anything but i made it back and was clean for 5 months and was very proud because i had zero support but i recently relapsed and i made a vow to myself, if that happens again - i am taking a month of and going rehab on my arse.

[Mythical]

if i may add my 2 cents, speaking as someone who is an addict [gawd that really looks great on my resume - lol] it is obvious he is using and if u love this man help him as much as u can because i made the mistake a while back of thinking i could 'use' that to fight off depression and because i had never been addicted to anything before and u make really lousy judgement calls and decisions when depressed before i knew it i was addicted and i will have to deal with this the rest of my life. it is a dangerous horrible drug and will kill u. as for the lying, i did that too because i was an idiot, it was a dealbreaker for the ex and i didn't want to lose her once i realized i was addicted, and most importantly i just wasn't being honest with her and myself and that is just an enabler - keeps u using. what i did was admit it and actually walked up to old mom and dad and told them - such a proud moment in my life. and one last thing, just because he is using don't treat him like a loser dude because i don't know anyone that 'wants' to be addicted and at my meeting i have seen and spoken to 55 year old men, 19 year old women, a complete cross section of society, some with amazing jobs, others with kids, and the common link is they made a mistake and are correcting it. personally, since i have admitted my addiction, everyone and their dawg looks at me differently and doubts things i say - but, hey that's life - those that continue to not 'see' me and only that are gone. but i'll tell u one thing, when u hit rock [no pun intended] on that stuff and i have, u wake up fast and its ironic because i had to go for an assessment today and needed to get the records from when i was 'seen' in the hospital and when u see a report that talks about u in these ways [form 1, etc.] it is an eye opener. so, last word, please help him because coke is not weed or hash, it can and will kill u.

 

Hey,

 

I agree with silentalways (ignore the first poster) I myself use to be a heavy coke usuer im not a heavy user anymore but still do it about twice a month.

I live with a crack addict also (my moms b/f) It got to the point with him he stole everything, lied everyday and put my family at the point of fear because ppl are looking for him. He has gotten help many times and still runs away and gets back into it.

I think you need to sit down and talk to him, right now he just think well whatever im just haivng fun, im not broke and not un healthy etc. it will lead to all of those thigns eventually.

He needs to stop for you and himself though. even though I do do it on a regualr basis I am MUCH better than I was before, Im 20 years old so do it when I party etc. I am a very heavy drinker I do it to stay awake after a long night.

Talk to him let him know you are very worried. if he admits to it (which he obviously is doing it) than just be calm and be there fr him. If he continues to lie no matter what you do you need to let him know that he could loose you.

Goodluck I hope thigns work out

[blind_otter]

Cocaine is a hell of a drug. I spent the entire year of 2005 addicted to cocaine and alcohol. I haven't had any cocaine since november 2005, I'm proud to say. Not that I don't think about it or have moments when I Really Want To Get High. I do, but I get over it.

 

It really does sound like he's using. Especially the white powder coming out of his nose.

 

IME it's like infidelity. It's like he's cheating on you with drugs. You can confront him. Maybe if you tell him exactly what the consequences will be and help him have an open line of communication he'll realize how bad things can get.

 

Heck I lost a fat wad of cash to the white devil. The longterm use consequences are even worse. If you have questions feel free to PM me, I have a bit of experience with getting over this drug.

[silentalways]

don't fool yerself - if u use u are harming yer body and i will give u a personal tale that hopefully helps.

 

when i was in a terrible rough patch, where i was depressed, i started using pretty bad, and u mix that with depression, and anti-depression meds and i am lucky to even be here. i remember nights where blood was streaming out of my nose and eyes and thinking what is this? why is this happening? shows u how unstable i was eh? later when i stopped i went to a clinic with my daughter to get my post nasal drip thang checked and the doctor looked up me snoooooooooooooze and said, hey, u have a big hole in yer nose - wow! i had no idea about this stuff. my ex did try and 'reach me' at one point but i was in la-la land, there was nothing she could do i had to get up myself.

 

next lesson - i was brought into the hospital twice and they checked my heart right away.

 

next lesson - i once stayed up for 5 days - no food or water and i felt my body start to rot. ewwwwwwwww. no wonder i didn't any nookie during that period - lol

 

next lesson - during my relapse i went physcho and spent a whole night thinking people were going to kill my ex, my daughter and ex wife so i lead 'them' [lol] on a chase and it took 4 police, and a few garden fences to bring me down

 

pretty picture eh?

 

btw i'm single. anyone wanna date me? lol

[moogy512]

yeah ive realized that he is doing it, i mean who was i kidding. white powder, thats a little obvious. and now itss to the point where i cal lhi one day and hes nice but the next hes screaming. i cant stand the moodiness, which i know is normal for coke users but it is getting to the point where he doesnt respect me and always turns things around on me to make me feel guilty. I cant stand this behavior from him anymore. I know he is hurting but thats not fair to do to me, someone who has stuck with his sick behavior for over 3 years.

[silentalways]

i am sorry u are suffering

 

denial comes from fear

 

fear comes from lack of courage

 

courage comes with honest

 

respect come once u learn how to remove the bad traits

 

and utilize the good

 

i'm not perfect at this things yet, but getting better every day

 

and i am eras removed from the person i was that winter

 

the difference i see in myself is totally clear and it is how and why i can be doing the things i am doing now

 

high 5s himself and slaps his own butt

 

woooo hoooo

[yvonne2]

hi there, i had a weird thing with my boyfriend the other night. some kids were doing cocaine and he was in the room. i was not. and they made a comment that led me to think he did it. i got upset asked him and he said no. i asked him over and over..cried and was upset. we ended up kissing and i noticed that my lips were numb. i am starting to get more upset. should i be?

[Guest]

are you going to stay with him? have you had a talk w/him?

[jetsetjessica]

All these people replying to you saying they're former addicts...but yet their all saying how it can kil him and to help him now and make him stop. But unlike everyone who replied. I'm not a former addict, I am an addict. I can't even count how many times people have tried to help me and made me quit. And guess how long it lasted? No more than two weeks.

 

You need to confront him and give him one last opportunity to be honest. But whether he admits it or not, all you can do is express your concern and make sure he knows you're there for him. If he doesn't 100% desperately want to quit, it's not going to happen. It sucks, I know, its almost the worst feeling in the world, but you are powerless. You need to decide what you are going to do. Are you going to leave him or are you going to stay by his side until he is ready to quit? Either way, in the end it needs to be his choice, nobody elses. I haven't been able to make that choice yet, but hopefully someday soon I will, and hopefully he will too.

[extra-ordinary_guy]

You've been with him 3 years? And how have things been? Are they getting better? Addiction normally goes one way - and that's down.

But maybe in this case it's been up and down. If he's still got you and a place to live and some money, then HEY! WTF! It doesn't seem to be impacting too badly on his life - why would he want to quit? If he doesn't see that he has a problem, then you have to ask yourself how far you're prepared to go down this ****ty path with him.