Why is my mother doing this?

[Guest]

Hello,I need some opinions please.I was on the phone with my mother again today.We were talking about things and once again I tried to tell her that I'm unhappy in my marriage.I explained everything to her and told her if I could I would leave him.Well she insisted that it's just because we have money problems and if we didn't things would be differant.She then went on to say that my husband and I will be together till the day we die.Why is she doing this?I'm a grown woman with two children,It's like she thinks I can't think for myself.I know I didnt give much detail but what do ya think?

[CardPlay3r]

I think you are the only one to decide your life...not your mother or anyone else.

 

She seems to be one that has that stupid idea of staying married no matter what happens in the marriage...probably because of society 'status' or religious beliefs or something ridiculous like that...

 

May I ask, why is it you are unhappy in it?

[BareGoddess]

Not enough information for me to say anything on that except I would caution against talking to your mother about your marriage. It took me YEARS to learn that lesson...not a good idea. It's really not.

 

Come here or see a therapist but don't ask your mother for advice on your marriage. I STRONGLY advise against it. It's a terrible idea on many levels.

[che_jesse]

Shes your mother, she loves you, she is concerned when you say things like "Mom I'm so unhappy, If I could leave my husband I would in a second"

 

You see, when parents love there children (as I'm sure you as you have children yourself) they want them to be happy in there lives, not settle for things that make them miserable.

 

Whats wrong with your marriage?

[Guest]

Well thanks for your replies.I'm not happy in my marriage and I feel trapped.I've been with him since I was 15 yrs. old and during the past 14 1/2 yrs. we've been through so much crap.He never hit me(thank God)but the temper is horrible.Although it's gotten better or maybe I just don't open my mouth as much anymore.He can be very controling and in my opinion he's a porn addict.He also lies to me sometimes.Although he's a hard worker he does'nt manage his money well.

 

Which I feel is part of the reason we have so many financial problems.I also don't think we're "right" for eachother but maybe I'm wrong.Anyway everytime I've tried to leave him he won't let me go and I end up feeling sorry for him and I give in.I also feel trapped because I don't have a career or even a good job.I've been a stay at home mom.Oh,and he says really rude things sometimes like"what did you do all day"or"what are you mad that you had to get up off the couch to make dinner?"Although he has bad qualities he does have a softer side and some good ones but I'm just trying to give you an idea.

 

Also,I'm no angel either I've done some bad in the relationship too and I have my flaws too.But my Mom keeps saying "if you leave your going from the frying pan into the fire" and it's like she dosnt think I can make it or something.I have tried to make this marriage work for a long time and I always wind up in the same spot,I want to leave and it would be nice if I had the support of my mother.I have to come up with a plan.

[usman]

Hello,I need some opinions please.I was on the phone with my mother again today.We were talking about things and once again I tried to tell her that I'm unhappy in my marriage.I explained everything to her and told her if I could I would leave him.Well she insisted that it's just because we have money problems and if we didn't things would be differant.She then went on to say that my husband and I will be together till the day we die.Why is she doing this?I'm a grown woman with two children,It's like she thinks I can't think for myself.I know I didnt give much detail but what do ya think?

Mothers have great role in upbringing her children but you are right should live your life your own way.