bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I am back and thinking what I am suppossed to do with my MM.Tomorrow is the day we are supposed to talk and everyone has talked me out of it. I know I shouldn't and part of me doesn't want to and part of me wants to so badly. I don't think I am done with this yet. I am not sure what I want . I do know I am not ready to have him completely out of my life. Am I just being weak. Your kidding right???? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 If you have looked at the last posts, it's pretty much a consensus that you need to stay away, no contact, no talking to him... It really seems to me, that you want to continue the A with him...This is not a good idea unless you want to create drama... What is going on in your M? How do you feel about your H? Do you want to stay married to him? How do you think he would feel about what's going on with you and your xlover? Do you care how he would feel (this is not meant to be rude, just asking)? Ok, this MM is a jerk...he has been awful to you...I don't know why you want to continue with someone who obviously doesn't respect you (which he has shown through his actions)... If you are not ready to have him out of your life, have you thought about ending your M? Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden fruit Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I am not ready to leave my marriage ,but I am also cannot seem to free myself from my MM. I am not sure why you think my MM does not respect me? Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I am not ready to leave my marriage ,but I am also cannot seem to free myself from my MM. I am not sure why you think my MM does not respect me? Oh I forgot to mention he tried to kiss me on the cheek and made references to his excitement if you know what I mean If he had ANY respect for you at all he never would have said that. You had boundries you tried to place, and he still ignored them and in the process told you of his EXCITMENT. Face it, he thinks your a piece for his pleasure. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 You've told him no contact, and he still comes over to you and your H's home... Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden fruit Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I didn't tell him we were NC I just did it and he came over to pick his kids up. It is a very complicated situation and I am having hard time between should we go back to being just friends and bury my feelings or try to continue NC. Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I didn't tell him we were NC I just did it and he came over to pick his kids up. It is a very complicated situation and I am having hard time between should we go back to being just friends and bury my feelings or try to continue NC. I am back and thinking what I am suppossed to do with my MM.Tomorrow is the day we are supposed to talk and everyone has talked me out of it. I know I shouldn't and part of me doesn't want to and part of me wants to so badly. I don't think I am done with this yet. I am not sure what I want . I do know I am not ready to have him completely out of my life. Am I just being weak. With the first thing you posted tonight that answers your question about going back to just friedns. Plus the fact HE WANTS MORE!!!!!! I have a serious question for you. Do you not see exactly what he is doing?? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I am having hard time between should we go back to being just friends and bury my feelings or try to continue NC. How can you go back to being friends? You can't...he's your neighbor and you slept with him...you can't be friends...Does your H know? (Sorry I can't remember...) If you want to stay married you need to bury your feelings, go NC and get in MC... Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 How can you go back to being friends? You can't...he's your neighbor and you slept with him...you can't be friends...Does your H know? (Sorry I can't remember...) If you want to stay married you need to bury your feelings, go NC and get in MC... And some VERY intense help for yourself Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden fruit Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Bonehead I think that comment was disrespectful. Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Bonehead I think that comment was disrespectful. You are letting this guy suck you back in over and over. WHY? Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden fruit Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I do not honestly see what he is doing in answer to your question. Am I completely not seeing in because I don't want to. Enlighten me Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I do not honestly see what he is doing in answer to your question. Am I completely not seeing in because I don't want to. Enlighten me You set boundries. He walks all over them. He broke it off, you totally avoided him per his wishes. He barged right back in. He is totally disrespecting you and you just sit back and allow it. You need to break this cycle and you have shown you can tdo it on your own. Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Bonehead I think that comment was disrespectful. I warned ya I was an a*shole. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 You are not seeing it because YOU want to continue the A...He's just giving you crumbs, calling all the shots and as soon as he gives you some attention, you're sucked back in...IMO...don't take it harshly, that's just my perception... Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden fruit Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I can do if I do not have to see him but the minute he looks into my eyes or I hear his voice I am hooked and of coure he knows it. Is it possible do I dare say it is that I love him. He has told me countless times or is he lying to get what he wants? Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I can do if I do not have to see him but the minute he looks into my eyes or I hear his voice I am hooked and of coure he knows it. Is it possible do I dare say it is that I love him. He has told me countless times or is he lying to get what he wants? LOVE = RESPECT and he has shown you ZERO HE DOESNT CARE Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden fruit Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Green eyed I think you are correct 100% so what do I say to him to let him know I will not accept this? Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden fruit Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Okay I feel like crying he does say he cares about me more than anyone and their are reasons he can't leave and I can't leave my marriage so now what? Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Okay I feel like crying he does say he cares about me more than anyone and their are reasons he can't leave and I can't leave my marriage so now what? Words are easy. Look at his actions. Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden fruit Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 What is he suppossed to do if we are both married? Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 What is he suppossed to do if we are both married? For starters. When you set boundries RESPECT THEM!!!!! I could care less about the marriage at this point in time, he has been so disresptful towards you it isnt even funny. Link to post Share on other sites
forbidden fruit Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 So he disrepected my NC because he still wants to control the situation and still wants what he wants when he wants it. How do i turn the tides? Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Okay I feel like crying he does say he cares about me more than anyone and their are reasons he can't leave and I can't leave my marriage so now what? I'm sorry that this is so hard for you...if that is the reality, that you both aren't leaving and you don't want to continue the A, you need to go no contact...otherwise it will never be over, you will never stop feeling for him, you will pine away for him and your H will notice it... Quite frankly, I can't believe your H hasn't noticed it yet... Or you continue the A...lots of downfalls, possible discovery, guilt, shame and all for what? Is that what you want? Are you willing to risk what you're risking to get the crumbs that MM is giving out? It's your choice...are you getting out as much as you put in? Personally, I think that you should either try and fix your M or get out...but it's your life... Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 So he disrepected my NC because he still wants to control the situation and still wants what he wants when he wants it. How do i turn the tides? IGNORE HIM!!!!!!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
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