GreenEyedLady Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I get what are you saying,but it might kill me in the process. YOU ARE STRONG!!! YOU can do it...
bonehead Posted December 24, 2006 Posted December 24, 2006 I get what are you saying,but it might kill me in the process. No it will not. You are stronger then that. You also have your husband to help you through
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 thanks for asking bonehead but i think you are going to be so mad at me!! My mm came over because he basically got kicked out of his house by his wife. I know she is such a b*** take my word for it. I am not saying that because I am the other woman. Whole other story. Okay so he comes over to my house and hangs out with my family and his kids too. We start playing a word game and then we both start making sexual innuendos, but it is hard to resist. He is definately happy we have gone there because he had a rough day and his wife is a nightmare Here comes the worst part before all of this he tells me about someone from his work that everyone else is mean to and he is nice to. Well the horns start to come out and I immediately feel jealous and he can tell so he is trying to make me feel better and he knows i am about one minute from kicking him out. What am I thinking?? Why is so hard to see the writing on the wall and why do I continue to love someone who has no clue? What does he want from me? I know what you are going to say I should not care, but I do and even my H said I have huge empathy for him for some reason. Help!!!
bonehead Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 thanks for asking bonehead but i think you are going to be so mad at me!! My mm came over because he basically got kicked out of his house by his wife. I know she is such a b*** take my word for it. I am not saying that because I am the other woman. Whole other story. Okay so he comes over to my house and hangs out with my family and his kids too. We start playing a word game and then we both start making sexual innuendos, but it is hard to resist. He is definately happy we have gone there because he had a rough day and his wife is a nightmare Here comes the worst part before all of this he tells me about someone from his work that everyone else is mean to and he is nice to. Well the horns start to come out and I immediately feel jealous and he can tell so he is trying to make me feel better and he knows i am about one minute from kicking him out. What am I thinking?? Why is so hard to see the writing on the wall and why do I continue to love someone who has no clue? What does he want from me? I know what you are going to say I should not care, but I do and even my H said I have huge empathy for him for some reason. Help!!! Does THAT give you your answer on being " just friends"?
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 how do i write all that and you sum it up in 10 words?
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 Maybe I am the one who should grow up and not be so emotional. Maybe I should not let him get to me.
bonehead Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 how do i write all that and you sum it up in 10 words? Because Im not the one emotionally involved in the situation. plus I have had to learn how to put the emotions on hold, and deal with whats in front of me. Ok, thats all more psyco babble BS. Its cuz Im a guy. Straight and to the point.
bonehead Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 Maybe I am the one who should grow up and not be so emotional. Maybe I should not let him get to me. Whats this MAYBE cr*p????? There is no maybe. Its do or dont do. Pure and simple. The MAYBE is his doorway in and HE KNOWS it
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 now you are sounding like my MM. What is the doorway he wants to open. He was the one who closed it for fear of getting caught.
bonehead Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 now you are sounding like my MM. What is the doorway he wants to open. He was the one who closed it for fear of getting caught. But he didnt lock the door. Your trying to lock it.
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 I don't follow - am I trying to lock it with NC?
bonehead Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 I don't follow - am I trying to lock it with NC? yes. When he ended it it was because he got caught. so he made a " Show " of ending it. Even stuck ot it for a little while waiting for things to settle down at home. ( he is still in control at this point ) Then you try NC. See the power shift???
GreenEyedLady Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 yes. When he ended it it was because he got caught. so he made a " Show " of ending it. Even stuck ot it for a little while waiting for things to settle down at home. ( he is still in control at this point ) Then you try NC. See the power shift??? With you 100% BH...
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 He did not caught he wanted to end the P/A because I ended it first. i ended it because we were supposes to meet and i was scared we would get caught. Is it all about power and control?
bonehead Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 He did not caught he wanted to end the P/A because I ended it first. i ended it because we were supposes to meet and i was scared we would get caught. Is it all about power and control? Ok, thought his wife found out. My mistake. But that even puts it into MORE of a control pattern for him. NowI remember it all You wanted to end, then he wanted to end, then you went NC and he got mad. See how he keeps trying to keep the upper hand? Go back and read everything you have posted
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 why does he want the upper hand I coud give aS** if i have the upper hand what does he gain. Is it a guy thing?
bonehead Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 why does he want the upper hand I coud give aS** if i have the upper hand what does he gain. Is it a guy thing? No, NOTHING he has done is a GUY thing!!!!!
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 What do you mean by that? Please elaborate with more than one sentence.
bonehead Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 What do you mean by that? Please elaborate with more than one sentence. The way he has acted towards you, disrespected you ( I will maintain that statment until you can prove otherwise ) and basicly walked all over boundries you have tried to place is NOT a guy thing. Its a power trip thing.
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 Is he trying to control me because he hs none in his marriage? Is that why he gets so scared when I NC is because he has lost the power?
GreenEyedLady Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 Is he trying to control me because he hs none in his marriage? Is that why he gets so scared when I NC is because he has lost the power? He might have power in his M, I don't know, maybe not...but it sounds like he thrives on power, period...when you go NC it takes the power away from him and he doesn't like that...
bonehead Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 Is he trying to control me because he hs none in his marriage? Is that why he gets so scared when I NC is because he has lost the power? It could be because he has no control in his marriage. That one i cant answer you, but I can tell you that I myself see his actions as a warning sign.
forbidden fruit Posted December 26, 2006 Posted December 26, 2006 Why do you always leave me with a cliffhanger. A warning sign for what?
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