xo Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 i've been dating my g/f for about 5 months. she was the first woman i slept with. she's been out of the country for the last month. i love her very much and we've even talked about marriage. I was really drunk last night and slept with another girl. i don't know if i should tell her or not. i know i will never cheat again (or drink). i'm worried that it will only cause her pain to bring it up. how could i tell her something like this? Link to post Share on other sites
yes Posted June 27, 2002 Share Posted June 27, 2002 i wouldn't tell her... you got drunk, so its not like it was a meaningful affair or anything... just dont drink to the point where u dont know what ur doing again... good luck, -yes Link to post Share on other sites
Guinness Posted June 28, 2002 Share Posted June 28, 2002 I doubt that you will never drink again... about telling her - if you want to be honest you have got to tell her, if you want to play it on the save side and avoid trouble then don't. Morally I am for telling, but then what do I know ? I just from past experience don't think it is possible for me not to tell, having to be dishonest to my partner would kill me. Good luck anyways! and by the way - have you asked yourself why you cheated? (lonelyness, just being horny, some hidden problem in the relationship, fear of commitment,...?) Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted June 28, 2002 Share Posted June 28, 2002 You made a mistake and a serious one. However, unnecessary and irrepairable pain and hurt will result from any disclosure of this incident to your girlfriend. You should also refrain from discussing it with any other live human organism on the planet because they all have big mouths and would LOVE for word to get back to your lady. Forgive yourself, sin no more, forget about it, let it go, and move on with your life. You have my unconditional guarantee, in writing, right here right now that if you tell your girlfriend of what you did there are only two results that will come. Either she will break up with you, or your life with her will NEVER be the same. Link to post Share on other sites
BeReal Posted June 29, 2002 Share Posted June 29, 2002 I think I'd want to know. I probably would dump a guy if he told me he cheated but I'd dump them anyway if I ever found out from someone else and all trust would be lost. You put yourself in a situation that led to having sex with this girl. I doubt it was all about the alcohol. I think it is unfair to her to keep this a secret just to save the relationship. Maybe if it was just a kiss but you had sex! I would be really upset but I think I would be even more upset if I found out from someone else. If you are always going to feel guilty then it will be a problem anyway, won't it? Link to post Share on other sites
lostrealization Posted June 30, 2002 Share Posted June 30, 2002 umm ok not to sound incredibly mean here but what were you thinking?!?! if you love this girl and she is way over in another country and you slept with another girl then why are you with her. yes tell her. if she finds out on her own it will only hurt worse. you cant just pick and choose who you love you know. if it was a real true love you wouldnt have cheated on her. TRUST is a big issue when having a realationship with someone esp. if they live far away. i know its hard at times and you just want to hug and hold them but it makes the times you are with them so much better. if you cant control yourself while she is away then break it off with her. dont cheat on her. it only makes you a jerk. sorry! Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted July 1, 2002 Share Posted July 1, 2002 In the future do you think you can contain yourself. Know one ever knows if their going to have an affair. The most committed and the ones most in love can slip. No one can say they wont cheat. You sound genuinely upset and I agree that you shouldn't say anything. It would only cause pain. Mostly her! However, if you should slip in the future again than shame on you. Link to post Share on other sites
xo Posted July 2, 2002 Share Posted July 2, 2002 after i spent about 3 straight hours crying today i decided to call her and tell her. but i just couldn't do it. she doesn't deserve to be hurt like that. i think that i've forgiven myself - but that doesn't sound quite right, more like i think i've come to a point where i'll be able to live with myself. the fact that it wasn't a planned out thing, it was just a split second decision as she jumped into my bed helps. and i also know that i wouldn't have done it if i wasn't so drunk. (and i really am not going to drink again, this was just the last straw). thanks so much for your advice everyone. i really had no one i could to talk to about this. Link to post Share on other sites
Mr. BreakItOffGood Posted July 2, 2002 Share Posted July 2, 2002 Don't Be Hard On Yourself Link to post Share on other sites
questionaire Posted July 2, 2002 Share Posted July 2, 2002 xo to answer your questions, you need to ask yourself 1 question 1-the girl you slept knows your g/f or her friends ? if NOT, do not mention it. If you feel that she may cause problem later on, move to different place or change your phone number you should do all your best to STOP SEEING HER OR LETTING HER SEEING YOU if YES, you really need a priest to help you with this problem. Hopefully, the priest can pursuade your g/f to give you second chance with all the respect, being drunk is not an excuse for sleeping with another girl while your g/f is gone i had 6 coollight and 2 shots and i was still knowing what i was doing hopefully, this is your first and also last mistake you make HUMAN makes mistakes. I don't blame you. If your mistakes not only affect your life, but also affect your g/f life, you go to the wrong direction, my friend hopefully, being nicer to your g/f will make you feel better a good g/f is hard to find but a bad g/f is easy to find no offense. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts