scared and confused Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 This is an email i sent my husband this morning, i'm sorta feeling bad about it, should i have approached it in a diffrent manner? he had an adult friend finder profile an deleted them but i found a yahoo personals this morning as he headed to work. If You had any regard for your relationship with me or respect for me you wouldn't do these things. Do you think you have internal reservations about getting married or just wanted to see what playing the field felt like since you feel you got married to young? To go as far as placing ads on internet dating sites is enough for me to not only be jealous but pissed. We do need to reassess our relationship. You say i have adds which I DO NOT and never had. You say I lied to you about things, Yes i have in the financial matter not infadelity. You have no idea how uncomfortable this makes me feel with you. Are you bored with our marrage? Since i'm only supposidly the 2nd person you have ever been with do you have ceriositys of what it would be like to be with other people or what? SERIOUSLY if you don't want to be with me tell me, we'll file the paperwork. You need to talk to me about this and tell me the truth, i will not stay married to you if you keep doing this. i have never cheated on you nor do i ever plan to. you say you haven't but after seeing the adultfriendfinder site an alt.com site an the yahoo personals why, WHY should i belive you?? When you read this I do expect to sit down and have a chit chat. bring up whetever you want besides the money issues i know i ****ed that up while you were gone. what do you want me to do ****ing christ i guess make me disappear an you can have the ins. money to pay everything off. i don't know but i want you to talk to me and tell me the truth. Nothing would hurt me more than to lose you but you need to tell me the truth. Cause if you dont want to be with me I need to move on. I love you with all my heart. Love Me Link to post Share on other sites
Ladyjane14 Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 I don't think the email was inappropriate. What are you worried about? It's not like you took his PC out into the driveway and ran over it multiple times with his truck. So given the alternatives, talking (or writing) doesn't seem like a bad thing to me. Link to post Share on other sites
Lennox Posted December 6, 2006 Share Posted December 6, 2006 How old is the Yahoo personals account and is it a recurring month to month deal that he's paying for? I know that Yahoo sends emails on a regular basis to people that aren't even active on their personals site. I still get them and frankly, I keep it to serve as a reminder of the loser that I could have wound up with whenever I get upset at my hubby! You have every right to demand fidelity. Now please consider getting financial counseling so you can take care of that debt. Sometimes we overspend when we're depressed, so you might want to talk to your doctor about it since you might be self medicating depression through uncontrolled spending. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 This is an email i sent my husband this morning, i'm sorta feeling bad about it, should i have approached it in a diffrent manner? he had an adult friend finder profile an deleted them but i found a yahoo personals this morning as he headed to work. If You had any regard for your relationship with me or respect for me you wouldn't do these things. Do you think you have internal reservations about getting married or just wanted to see what playing the field felt like since you feel you got married to young? To go as far as placing ads on internet dating sites is enough for me to not only be jealous but pissed. We do need to reassess our relationship. You say i have adds which I DO NOT and never had. You say I lied to you about things, Yes i have in the financial matter not infadelity. You have no idea how uncomfortable this makes me feel with you. Are you bored with our marrage? Since i'm only supposidly the 2nd person you have ever been with do you have ceriositys of what it would be like to be with other people or what? SERIOUSLY if you don't want to be with me tell me, we'll file the paperwork. You need to talk to me about this and tell me the truth, i will not stay married to you if you keep doing this. i have never cheated on you nor do i ever plan to. you say you haven't but after seeing the adultfriendfinder site an alt.com site an the yahoo personals why, WHY should i belive you?? When you read this I do expect to sit down and have a chit chat. bring up whetever you want besides the money issues i know i ****ed that up while you were gone. what do you want me to do ****ing christ i guess make me disappear an you can have the ins. money to pay everything off. i don't know but i want you to talk to me and tell me the truth. Nothing would hurt me more than to lose you but you need to tell me the truth. Cause if you dont want to be with me I need to move on. I love you with all my heart. Love Me hey tell me how you found all these things cause I suspect the same from my husband. how did you find emails when you dont even know he had one etc? Link to post Share on other sites
BeenAround_N_Back Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Looks like you did the right thing! I would surely have done the exact same thing! Link to post Share on other sites
KnottyLady Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 Oh dear. I have an exhusband who was obsessed with committing infidelity, from cyber to real-life. Sometimes I think this is more of a disease than just actions committed. My questions I have for you is, was your husband active on adultfriendfinder while you were married? And did his Yahoo! personal show that he's been logging into it regularly? Reason why I'm asking is, I met my SO online and it was only recently that I was able to finally delete my account a few weeks ago(the sites do everything they can to prevent you from doing that it seems), so while I did log in a few times I logged off with frustrating ends. Maybe your husband was doing this same thing, but if he has a track record, then what I went through with the sites may not be his excuse. Also remember that you are dealing with two DIFFERENT problems in your marriage right now. Creating debt does NOT cause one to cheat. Therefore, if during your "discussion" he brings up the debt, know that it's him putting the blame back on you. I commend you for taking this on my the horns. And don't ever be afraid of going back out in the world on your own. You deserve to be respected! And even more, you deserve to be with someone who has your complete utter trust. And marital counseling never hurts either Link to post Share on other sites
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