ash519 Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 Are there many of you out there that have to deal/worry (either one) with Ex's in your relationship? Whether or not they are just around, trying to get your bf/gf back, acting sneaky etc etc etc? If so, how do you handle it? What is your reaction? Link to post Share on other sites
HeadlessZebra Posted December 7, 2006 Share Posted December 7, 2006 "All my exes live in Texas... That's why I hang my hat in Tennessee." http://www.countrygoldusa.com/all_my_exes.asp Link to post Share on other sites
MaggieA Posted December 8, 2006 Share Posted December 8, 2006 I can totally relate. I just busted my ex online. I asked him if he had a myspace page months ago. He never replied. I found it and there were tons of women on there and pictures of him with them at parties (innocent maybe - maybe not- ill never know for sure). Well the kicker is this. I found a bunch of comments from his ex on there. Im losing it too. Problem is with no real proof, it just makes us look insecure and psycho if we bring it up and have nothing to back up facts with. I feel for you. Link to post Share on other sites
nicki Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 I've had it all happen with the exes. What I've learned is that unless the guy is telling you every time they talk and what was said he is probably hiding something. And, you better be friends with her, too, if he is. I don't mean you have to be friends with her. I just mean that HE better include you in all plans. I would never be cool with a boyfriend hanging out with an ex, emailing and calling her all of the time. I've been burned too many times in that three-way script. In fact, now I usually walk away from relationships if a guy is friends with exes...unless it's an ex-wife he has kids with.... Link to post Share on other sites
WhiteKnight Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 Well in many cases like this. It would be best to stay away from your ex-gfs, try not to be enemies of them and perhaps you might have to cut all ties. Anyways from experience I had an ex-gf (who was my ex-fiancee). Anyhow to make it worse when I had found out that she was still cheating on the husband etc. and to be honest she claims that her and the guy she was talking with online had stopped the love affair. Anyhow, I don't believe she hasn't stop cheating because she still acts flirty with the guy and to make it more interesting, I did caught her in the act online doing it and did confront her about it. To be honest, I know its wrong for her to do it anyways. Cheating is wrong. The only reasons that I found it wrong was the jealousy I had developed and where I had betrayed her by telling the husband up front about it but I hadn't told the husband about me as yet. Also, how it hurt my feelings as well as hers. So I couldn't trust her again as much since I broke up with her. Funny thing was that she asked me to be friends with her and to keep in touch by email, phone or anything. Trouble is though, when you have people who tell you not to contact them. It won't be cool I have to admit, because you are probably in conflict with them. I've burnt my bridges many times in a three-way script or fight. Its not easy to BE friends with the guy who is your friend and the ex-gf he is involved with. So you have to either cut all ties with him sadly, move on with your life or just don't talk to him about the ex-gf at all. I will say that if you find yourself having too much jealousy, stay distracted and keep away from them. Ignore and forget about them but if the person was cheating on them, I would drop in hints that there is something between them and let the person find out for themselves. In the end with my ex-gf for that case, I stopped being friends with her. She had found out a week later and tried to contact me in an attempt of reconcliating with me, reassuring she would not cheat or do anything wrong in my eyes. Including lying to me. It doesn't matter now cause I had told her outright, that the friendship was over as soon as I heard she was cheating with another person and walked away from her cause there was no reason to be part of that negativity. Link to post Share on other sites
Shrelana Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 I never worry about my fiance. I don't think that he has to tell me everything that happens b/w him and his ex's. I mean honestly, if there was a Star Trek convention (he and one of his ex's are trekkies) I would have no interest whatsoever to go, but would encourage them to go b/c they would have a blast. I don't know, maybe I have a very unique relationship with my fiance. I know that I can trust him, and he knows that if he EVER cheated on me, he'd lose me. We're actually halfway through PMC now, and the minister who's performing our wedding finds no problem with my fiance's relationships w/ his ex's....and honestly, one of his ex's is more like a sister to me than anything else. They actually introduced me to Japanese Cuisine tonight Great Food!!! As far as saying that your SO needs to tell you about all their contact w/ their ex's...that's way too controling....I mean, come on...if you can't trust him/her to stay w/ you while maintaining a friendship w/ an ex...how can you trust him/her at all? How can he/she trust you when you demand they not communicate w/ someone? I can see that if they'd cheated on you w/ that person, but if it's nothing but talking and being friends.....oofta.... Link to post Share on other sites
Sal Paradise Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 A lot of posts on here about "exes causing problems in relationships" lately. That's why I encourage people who don't want exes hanging around not to get involved with people who keep them as friends (unless as someone else said its an ex husband or wife and they have kids together). Link to post Share on other sites
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