sorting things out for life

[Guest]

my gf dumped me after a on off on off relationship that had its ups and downs after 2 and a half years together. she has a boy who is 6 who i love to bits also and i want to get back with her, although admittedly i have done a few stupid things recently and have made it a really far shot lol

 

on the bright side, i think if we had met now rather than a few years ago i think the match would have been much better as the things that constantly plagued the relationship from my side were the same factors i have have big trouble with in normal life. accepting other peoples views and getting stuck up on the small stuff etc.......lol i could go on for a bit.

 

i have had my troubles in the past with recreational drug use for the last 10 years and had made a solemn vow to myself not to let the same factors be a problem in the future, be it with her or anyone else. i have done alot of maturing and thinking about whats important to me in life for the future, i have attended counseling sessions and continue to do so

 

its a difficult time right now, i have not spoken to her in 3 weeks and my parents tell me they got a xmas card from her today, i really want to see her, just to see where we stand, as last time we met a few weeks ago, a couple of weeks after i had done some silly **** and let paranoia get the better of me coming out of my drug induced mental state. dont want to read too much into the fact they got a card from her but it was abit strange as she wanted a clear break. how much will time heal, i will be happy being friends for now, because we would go for lunch as friends and have the best chats together and the magic would be there, it was just my insecurities that held us back

 

a bit of advice to anyone wanting to get back with your ex, sort out yourself and not the relationship! i tried for so long to sort the later out without success. at one point 6months ago i went on a similar path in sorting my issues out and we got back together, but i let things slip again and before i knew it i was back to square one

 

i don't know exactly what im saying here, whether theres any advice for me as well as some to give..............lol

[silentalways]

my gf left me because she tried her best to help me and i just got worse. i say i don't love her but i always will even if i don't ever see her again.

 

she has a daughter i love as my own. and i have done a more than a few stupid things recently and i know i hurt her deeply

 

"on the bright side, i think if we had met now rather than a few years ago i think the match would have been much better as the things that constantly plagued the relationship from my side were the same factors i have have big trouble with in normal life. accepting other peoples views and getting stuck up on the small stuff etc.......lol i could go on for a bit."

 

that is totally me

 

i have a current problem with a horrible drug and i promise her that if she can just do one thing for me i will be able to stop completely. i have learned alot, i am in therapy, at rideauwwwwoods, see a doc, back at work, doing the house and lawyer thing, money's ok, and whats important to me in life for the future is just a normal life again.

 

i would attended counseling sessions with her if it would help us just get past this and nothing more.

 

i have not spoken to her in over 5 months

 

i got delusional and ended up running for hours in the freezing rain with just jeans on and covered in mud and almost shot at by the police because i thought i was protect her and my family. during that time i felt she left because she hated me so much that she dated a friend. i have made a fool of myself and everyone looks at me like an idoit because i loved her.

 

i wish i just got a call or letter saying she understands i really tried my best and that i am sorry i hurt and scared her and that she is not scared of me and i would never reply if that's what she wanted.

 

i hope she can find forgiveness.