Are we allowed to Laugh?

[bonehead]

If I may add a "Thank You BoneHead".

 

THANK YOU!!!

 

 

For what if I may ask

[yousaveme]

BH, I wanted to thank you for trying your best to lighten the mood here. What can I say. Others just cant let go. They cant see past their own weakness and pain. So the best way is to attack and become verbally abusive.

 

I have listen to many posters even those who believe I should leave my situtation. I have taken what I needed and used it.

 

Check your PM

[pricillia]

If said person is negative I don't understand why we all let said person frustrate annoy or ruin a discussion.

 

My advice, if said person replies and you don't agree or care for the opinion then just don't quote the response and let it go, move on to the next posters comments and work with that.

 

Or you could continue to let it bother you yo the point that it has, but there are so many other things to think about.

 

Everone is entitled to thier opinion even if it is not popular, just let it go

the more said person knows it bothers you the more said person will push.

 

Peace all and Happy Holidays!

[bonehead]

I was asking about the honeymoon phase in this case because I wonder about the couples who have repetative honeymoon phases...the BS's that have been caught two and three times, they go back to counseling and then everything returns to the status quo. My xMM has been caught many times and each time they go to counseling, seem to be doing wonderfully but then it has happened again. Maybe this time it will stick. I don't know.

 

I may be wrong, but I think this speaks volumes about their self esteem.

[herenow]

HN, no problem in responding. You are one of the most "real" BS's I've ever read about on LS. You have humility, you aren't afraid to show your humanity in that you have real fears that you face and deal with, you show compassion, you honestly try to look at both sides, you seem to realize no one is perfect and you speak to others with class and respect.

 

Your H is a fool if he doesn't see what a treasure he has in you. I hope with all my heart that you two make it. I really do.

 

I was asking about the honeymoon phase in this case because I wonder about the couples who have repetative honeymoon phases...the BS's that have been caught two and three times, they go back to counseling and then everything returns to the status quo. My xMM has been caught many times and each time they go to counseling, seem to be doing wonderfully but then it has happened again. Maybe this time it will stick. I don't know.

 

I confess I want the very worst life has to offer him. Some may not understand that but I seem to be in a phase now where I am enraged that he would make so many promises he had no right to ever make to anyone but his wife and, worse yet, that I believed him. I'm trying to find the answers to unanswerable questions. That sounds smart, huh?

 

My prayer for myself is that going through all these stages will land me right at apathy's door. That is, hopefully, my destination.

 

LS is a very interesting place. I have to admit that I often question the reality of some of the posts. Sometimes I read things and know that it's fiction. I say this because I can separated my personal emotions from people who post to create drama. Bear with me, this will make sense.

 

If I posted my first thoughts to every thread I read, I would sound like a raving lunatic. So instead, I shake my head and move on to a post that I feel I have something of importance to say. I appreciate what you have said about me and I would like to believe that it's true. I think I have just learned that if you don't show respect then no one will respect you in return.

[herenow]

BH, I wanted to thank you for trying your best to lighten the mood here. What can I say. Others just cant let go. They cant see past their own weakness and pain. So the best way is to attack and become verbally abusive.

 

I have listen to many posters even those who believe I should leave my situtation. I have taken what I needed and used it.

 

Check your PM

 

No PM yet. I have a funeral to go to today:( So, I won't be back until Monday, but I do hope all of you have a great weekend.

 

NF is not a bad person, she is just trying to get through a hard time. All of us are, she just has a different way of expressing herself.

[yousaveme]

LS is a very interesting place. I have to admit that I often question the reality of some of the posts. Sometimes I read things and know that it's fiction. I say this because I can separated my personal emotions from people who post to create drama. Bear with me, this will make sense.

 

If I posted my first thoughts to every thread I read, I would sound like a raving lunatic. So instead, I shake my head and move on to a post that I feel I have something of importance to say. I appreciate what you have said about me and I would like to believe that it's true. I think I have just learned that if you don't show respect then no one will respect you in return.

 

Herenow. LS is an interesting place. Sometimes you laugh, cry or just need to get in off your chest. But I agree with your comment about respect. I wish someone else would learn this. Its not just one person who is upset by what is going on. There are many this should speak volumes to them. But I dont think it wont.

 

By the way hows the weather? Its freezing here

[lasan]

Lasan, I was going to PM you but you don't have PM privileges...how long did you try? Were there seasons in your marriage that were good or seemed hopeful after a discovered betrayal or was it always bad? From what I've read there is a honeymoon phase when couples try again and if real change doesn't take place then it just goes back to the way things were before the betrayal...

 

I was married for exactly 4 years. My ex mother in law threw a party for her son and his new wife the day we got divorced. It was our anniversary.

 

He was very smooth. Very charming. EVERYONE loved him. When we first met I was amazed he was even talking to me. He was greek adonis hot. I had so little self-esteem back in the day. I almost felt honored that he was giving me any attention. Even my own friends said "Wow Lasan! How did you get him to date you?"

 

His mother hated me from the moment she figured out her son was serious about me. She kicked him out of the house when he said he would marry me. She did not attend our wedding nor did most of his family. Her philosphy is that black girls are fine to date, and mess around with, but you don't bring them into the family. He made it seem like he was sticking up for me, Me and him against the world!

 

I spent two years in relative peace and quiet before I found out about any infidelity. Right around that time he stopped having sex with me. He gave me a myriad of reasons. "You're too fat". So I lost weight. "You are putting too much pressure on me, I just want to hang out and relax with my friends" I was never a bar scene kind of person, so I started going to the bar. I had nothing in common with his friends, but I went anyway. "You don't have an interest in any of my interests". His interests were videogames at the time. I took up every videogame he asked me to, even though they weren't my thing. I tried to get him interested in some of my interests. I liked reading, going to plays. He told me that I was just trying to act smarter than him and everyone else. So I "dumbed" myself down. I tried not to make him feel inferior.

 

I started finding out about OW. He would always cry and beg me to forgive him. We went to marriage counseling. But there was always another OW. I have no idea how many there ended up being. He was telling them that I wasn't affectionate. I wasn't having sex with him. That was true, but it wasn't because I didnt want to. He rejected me every time I tried. After a while I quit trying. The rejection got to be too much. He was telling them I was spending all of his money, and we were struggling. We were struggling all right, but it was because he blew all the money. He didn't want me to work, so I didn't work. He was very proud to tell his friends that his wife didn't have to work and that she could stay home and take care of the household. Far cry from what he was telling the OW. He never told them how we had to eat Ramen for a month because he blew his whole paycheck on a drumset. He didn't even play the drums!

 

I felt that marriage was for life. I was willing to do whatever it took to make our marriage work. I loved him very much. His mother was a constant thorn in our side. I was having problems concieving. (part of which was because he wasn't having sex with me lol) I was going through fertility treatment, and did a few very invasive procedures. None of them worked. Finally I brought up the idea of adoption, which he was all for until his family found out. They said they would never accept an adopted child. He decided he didn't want to adopt anymore. His mother talked bad about me right in front of me, and he never said anything. Just that I was over reacting.

 

When he decided to divorce me I was very surprised. We had just made "progress" in MC. He was in the military. We were making a move to another base. He dropped me off at my parents house and went to the new base with the pretense of setting up house. He set up house with an OW instead. Turns out, Whenever we came home on leave, his OW came with him. She stayed at my in-laws because they knew I would never go there. I even met her. She was introduced as a cousin. And her child as another cousin. It was my husbands child.

 

All the stuff I found out about my husband afterwards was enough to make me physically ill. He was having sex with MANY women, and even some men. He had two children during our marriage, Neither of which with me. He had one child before we got married. I knew nothing about them. Alot of other people did, but they decided it wasn't their business to tell me.

 

He had sex with my best friend the night before he and I got married. I found out about it because my little cousin walked in on it. She would have been about 10 at the time. When I got divorced she came crying to me because she didn't tell me. That made me really hate what he had done. The poor kid had been walking around with that knowlege for 4 years and was guilt-ridden. She was just a kid! She shouldn't have had to deal with that.

 

I would have to be here all day to type out everyting I found out. I dealt with my anger though. I remarried a wonderful man who sadly passed away. I even have a son . My ex and his wife made fun of me after the divorce for my inability to have children. I think it was divine intervetion. He was so surprised when he found out that not only did I get over him, I remarried, had a son, and a happy life. He called me once and told me what a mistake he made and he wanted to come back. I told him he was married to someone new now, and he should focus on her.

 

I had the misfortune to have to be with them all one more time. (federal subpeona, it was unavoidable). I saw him. He was the same old charming pretty boy. His wife, who had made fun of me for being overweight was now way bigger than I ever was. I laughed when I saw them. I couldn't help it. Everything they had made fun of me about came back to them. I was now pretty trim and doing well. He came up to me and said "See gorgeous, I can still make you smile." His wife was 5 feet away. I just shook my head and told him that he was out of my life, and he should be looking at his wife and not me.

 

They are now divorcing. It's a shame. She broke up her family to marry my ex. One of the times she talked to me, she told me he had to be with her forever because he gave her an std that is not curable.

 

I was just relieved he never gave me one period. More divine intervention I guess.

 

Now that I can look back at the situation, I can remember some of the good things about him. I hope he realizes what he has done, and that he changes his ways.

 

I think I turned out ok in the end. I think I am a better person for all of this

[Ladyjane14]

Geez Lasan... Wow, what a remarkable story. I doubt... no, I KNOW... I'd have never managed to remain graceful in a situation like that.

 

This part about having to do with your niece would've broken any hope I had for tranquility. I don't know how you managed... but KUDOS to you that you did. :bunny:

He had sex with my best friend the night before he and I got married. I found out about it because my little cousin walked in on it. She would have been about 10 at the time. When I got divorced she came crying to me because she didn't tell me. That made me really hate what he had done. The poor kid had been walking around with that knowlege for 4 years and was guilt-ridden. She was just a kid! She shouldn't have had to deal with that.

[bonehead]

Herenow. LS is an interesting place. Sometimes you laugh, cry or just need to get in off your chest. But I agree with your comment about respect. I wish someone else would learn this. Its not just one person who is upset by what is going on. There are many this should speak volumes to them. But I dont think it wont.

 

By the way hows the weather? Its freezing here

 

To adults as adults.

 

No one likes being badgered and talked down to.

[Chapter2]

You're not wrong...It does speak volumes. But then I have no choice but to wonder what it says about my self esteem to even care about whether or not they make it.

 

Its so, so, so, hard because my brain KNOWS I'm better than anything he could ever offer me but my heart continues to play the "tape" of promises he made. I foolishly changed my life's course for this man and am so disappointed in myself for believing him. I want to be in a place where my heart and my head are in the same place.

 

I may be wrong, but I think this speaks volumes about their self esteem.

[Chapter2]

WOW! Thank you for sharing some of your story. That is incredible. To say I'm sorry seems extremely inadequate but I'm sorry anyone is treated like that. I'm so glad you have found happiness now. You have such a forgiving spirit and I find that every time I read your posts I want the same spirit. I find my desire for justice interferes with forgiveness. I would much rather be a person that forgives than a person that insists on justice. Hopefully I'm getting there.

 

I was married for exactly 4 years. My ex mother in law threw a party for her son and his new wife the day we got divorced. It was our anniversary.

 

He was very smooth. Very charming. EVERYONE loved him. When we first met I was amazed he was even talking to me. He was greek adonis hot. I had so little self-esteem back in the day. I almost felt honored that he was giving me any attention. Even my own friends said "Wow Lasan! How did you get him to date you?"

 

His mother hated me from the moment she figured out her son was serious about me. She kicked him out of the house when he said he would marry me. She did not attend our wedding nor did most of his family. Her philosphy is that black girls are fine to date, and mess around with, but you don't bring them into the family. He made it seem like he was sticking up for me, Me and him against the world!

 

I spent two years in relative peace and quiet before I found out about any infidelity. Right around that time he stopped having sex with me. He gave me a myriad of reasons. "You're too fat". So I lost weight. "You are putting too much pressure on me, I just want to hang out and relax with my friends" I was never a bar scene kind of person, so I started going to the bar. I had nothing in common with his friends, but I went anyway. "You don't have an interest in any of my interests". His interests were videogames at the time. I took up every videogame he asked me to, even though they weren't my thing. I tried to get him interested in some of my interests. I liked reading, going to plays. He told me that I was just trying to act smarter than him and everyone else. So I "dumbed" myself down. I tried not to make him feel inferior.

 

I started finding out about OW. He would always cry and beg me to forgive him. We went to marriage counseling. But there was always another OW. I have no idea how many there ended up being. He was telling them that I wasn't affectionate. I wasn't having sex with him. That was true, but it wasn't because I didnt want to. He rejected me every time I tried. After a while I quit trying. The rejection got to be too much. He was telling them I was spending all of his money, and we were struggling. We were struggling all right, but it was because he blew all the money. He didn't want me to work, so I didn't work. He was very proud to tell his friends that his wife didn't have to work and that she could stay home and take care of the household. Far cry from what he was telling the OW. He never told them how we had to eat Ramen for a month because he blew his whole paycheck on a drumset. He didn't even play the drums!

 

I felt that marriage was for life. I was willing to do whatever it took to make our marriage work. I loved him very much. His mother was a constant thorn in our side. I was having problems concieving. (part of which was because he wasn't having sex with me lol) I was going through fertility treatment, and did a few very invasive procedures. None of them worked. Finally I brought up the idea of adoption, which he was all for until his family found out. They said they would never accept an adopted child. He decided he didn't want to adopt anymore. His mother talked bad about me right in front of me, and he never said anything. Just that I was over reacting.

 

When he decided to divorce me I was very surprised. We had just made "progress" in MC. He was in the military. We were making a move to another base. He dropped me off at my parents house and went to the new base with the pretense of setting up house. He set up house with an OW instead. Turns out, Whenever we came home on leave, his OW came with him. She stayed at my in-laws because they knew I would never go there. I even met her. She was introduced as a cousin. And her child as another cousin. It was my husbands child.

 

All the stuff I found out about my husband afterwards was enough to make me physically ill. He was having sex with MANY women, and even some men. He had two children during our marriage, Neither of which with me. He had one child before we got married. I knew nothing about them. Alot of other people did, but they decided it wasn't their business to tell me.

 

He had sex with my best friend the night before he and I got married. I found out about it because my little cousin walked in on it. She would have been about 10 at the time. When I got divorced she came crying to me because she didn't tell me. That made me really hate what he had done. The poor kid had been walking around with that knowlege for 4 years and was guilt-ridden. She was just a kid! She shouldn't have had to deal with that.

 

I would have to be here all day to type out everyting I found out. I dealt with my anger though. I remarried a wonderful man who sadly passed away. I even have a son . My ex and his wife made fun of me after the divorce for my inability to have children. I think it was divine intervetion. He was so surprised when he found out that not only did I get over him, I remarried, had a son, and a happy life. He called me once and told me what a mistake he made and he wanted to come back. I told him he was married to someone new now, and he should focus on her.

 

I had the misfortune to have to be with them all one more time. (federal subpeona, it was unavoidable). I saw him. He was the same old charming pretty boy. His wife, who had made fun of me for being overweight was now way bigger than I ever was. I laughed when I saw them. I couldn't help it. Everything they had made fun of me about came back to them. I was now pretty trim and doing well. He came up to me and said "See gorgeous, I can still make you smile." His wife was 5 feet away. I just shook my head and told him that he was out of my life, and he should be looking at his wife and not me.

 

They are now divorcing. It's a shame. She broke up her family to marry my ex. One of the times she talked to me, she told me he had to be with her forever because he gave her an std that is not curable.

 

I was just relieved he never gave me one period. More divine intervention I guess.

 

Now that I can look back at the situation, I can remember some of the good things about him. I hope he realizes what he has done, and that he changes his ways.

 

I think I turned out ok in the end. I think I am a better person for all of this

[bonehead]

My ex mother in law threw a party for her son and his new wife the day we got divorced

 

Do we have the same ex in laws?

 

His mother hated me from the moment she figured out her son was serious about me. She kicked him out of the house when he said he would marry me. She did not attend our wedding nor did most of his family.

 

So far its the exact same road. Im not even going to get into the race issue.

 

Not to be mean, but those actions alone were a big red flag to the type of person you were getting involved with.

 

What was his childhood like? My guess is that he has VERY controlling parents.

[noforgiveness]

you are all actually pathetic with your little psychoanalyzing.

 

I have not lashed out or have i personally attacked anyone. As a matter of fact the one that started this was another bw who was angry and I came to the defense of the OW here because many were deceived and i stated that. It was in a thread concocted to personally mock me and i agreed with the BW's assessment of the threadwriter and then DEFENDED many of the OW's

 

Yousaveme then got personally offended. Why because she was engaged and doing a married man at the same time but how dare anyone judge that.

 

If you are so proud of your actions then scream it from the rooftops. Tell the world you are doing a married man. No instead you hide to get support.

 

I do not appreciate being accused of asking the mods to remove those threads. I did no such thing and actually would have enjoyed it if they stayed up so everyone could all see the real you. The ones who claim someone else is angry and in pain as you are mocking, insulting analyzing, gossiping and laughing amongst yourselves. Your true spirit came shining through as I kept my decorum.

 

Lashing out no i have not done. You just don't like to face reality. It hurts. You all are lashing out. You are in pain. You totally attacked that other poster who was so hurt and worried about her husband because she said it is sick to screw a MARRIED MAN. That was her opinion and to have this whole board jump on her as you all did was disgraceful. Maybe you should all look at your conduct in the threads that were pulled and why that might be. Look in the mirror.

 

I love to see threads like that remain and see your true anger, and me me me attitude emerge.

 

Anger no I have none. I laugh at you all at this point. I had a lot of sympathy for many of you but now it has turn to humor because i see what type of people many of you are.

 

I came here to get some understanding and I did. I got a lot of insight and am very happy. Some of you hate to hear that. One person continually must insinuate sex was involved in my sitch. You love to mock in your suddle ways. You love the ow role in the sense that you feel you have something over on the wife. You've one upped her but you are just the byproduct of a piece of cake with some fluffy icing.

 

I stayed here because i began to have some real sympathy for many of you and thought that possibly a wife could give you some insight. Men do not stay for kids. I really do not believe they do. Or i should say very few. I just do not know why you would waste YEARS of your lives on a loser who wants his wife and a girlfriend. Make a stand for YOU. Respect YOU and tell him he has to make a choice by a date and then LEAVE. If he loves you he'll be there.

 

I'm sure you know that though. you just don't want to face it.

 

How many true happy ever afters has this board had?

[lasan]

Do we have the same ex in laws?

 

 

 

So far its the exact same road. Im not even going to get into the race issue.

 

Not to be mean, but those actions alone were a big red flag to the type of person you were getting involved with.

 

What was his childhood like? My guess is that he has VERY controlling parents.

 

 

Hindsight being what it is, of course they were all big blazing burning red flags lol.

 

I didn't find out alot about his childhood until after we were married. If I had, I probably would have atleast insisted on some counseling for him before we married.

 

His mother took him from his father and hid him for 8 years. He had to send many investigators to find his son. My ex father in law told me he finally saw his son again when he was 8 years old. He said my ex told him that He had to show an ID for him to believe who he said he was. His mother had been telling him his father was dead.

 

From my ex's distant relatives, I gather that his mother wasn't going to be winning any mother of the year awards. She was living with her ex husbands father. That man inisisted that my ex call him grandfather. My ex mother in law and "grandfather" were being intimate. I can only imagine what that could have been doing to a childs mind. There was no blood there, but still...... My ex had to have Grandfathers drink ready everyday when he got home from school. This consisted of gingerale and some other alchoholic substance. When my ex got old enough to have a job, his mother was taking all of his money and gambling it. She wasn't feeding him. He was too embarrassed to tell his dad (who lived in another state) what was going on. He finally made a collect call to an aunt who flew him out to her. His mother decided to move as well. When I met him, I thought they all lived together. I later found out his aunt tried to rescue him, and his mother mooched off of them to the tune of many thousands of dollars. His mother ruined his credit before he was even an adult. When we were married, everything we did was on my credit. He wouldn't turn her in though. He said he just couldn't do that to his mom.

 

When we were going through MC, thats when I first found out about alot of this stuff.

[bonehead]

I cant imagine.

 

Without some SERIOUS help he is going to have problems through out his life.

 

Happy you made it out ok.

[lasan]

I cant imagine.

 

Without some SERIOUS help he is going to have problems through out his life.

 

Happy you made it out ok.

 

 

Right before we got divorced, I know the military insisted he go through some sort of therapy. I hope it helped him.

[bonehead]

Right before we got divorced, I know the military insisted he go through some sort of therapy. I hope it helped him.

 

Im actually suprised he was in the military.

 

Part of what he was going through my have been a kind of PTSD. So yeah the military may be able to help him a bit.

[lasan]

Im actually suprised he was in the military.

 

Part of what he was going through my have been a kind of PTSD. So yeah the military may be able to help him a bit.

 

 

Perhaps. He is no longer in the military. he was dishonorably discharged a couple years ago. I really hope he finds peace in his life. I hope he realizes that his actions have consequences and they affect other people.

[Ladyjane14]

I didn't find out alot about his childhood until after we were married. If I had, I probably would have atleast insisted on some counseling for him before we married.

 

That explains alot. It's hard to hold onto anger... when you love somebody and you know how messed up they are inside. I imagine it would've been hard not to see the struggling 'little boy' in him.

 

Still, that's a bit of a trap too in it's way. And you escaped it. Good for you, Lasan.

[bonehead]

Well, I have to get out of here. Time to go discuss budget issues.

 

( government and budgets, now theres a LAUGH )

[lasan]

That explains alot. It's hard to hold onto anger... when you love somebody and you know how messed up they are inside. I imagine it would've been hard not to see the struggling 'little boy' in him.

 

Still, that's a bit of a trap too in it's way. And you escaped it. Good for you, Lasan.

 

Assuming our therapist wasn;t a total crackpot, although he came from a messed up situation, She seemed to think that he could appreciate what he was doing was wrong. Thats why I don't blame all of his actions on his childhood. He made conscious choices to do what he was doing.

[bonehead]

A man walks into a restaurant with a full-grown ostrich behind him.

 

The waitress asks them for their orders.

 

The man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke," and turns to the ostrich, "What's yours?" "I'll have the same," says the ostrich.

 

A short time later the waitress returns with the order "That will be $9.40 please," and the man reaches into his pocket and pulls out the exact change for payment.

 

The next day, the man and the ostrich come again and the man says, "A hamburger, fries and a coke."

 

The ostrich says, "I'll have the same." Again the man reaches into his pocket and pays with exact change.

 

This becomes routine until the two enter again. "The usual?" asks the waitress?

 

"No, this is Friday night, so I will have a steak, baked potato and a salad," says the man. "Same," says the ostrich.

 

Shortly the waitress brings the order and says, "That will be $32.62."

 

Once again the man pulls the exact change out of his pocket and places it on the table.

 

The waitress cannot hold back her curiosity any longer. "Excuse me, sir. How do you manage to always come up with the exact change in your pocket every time?"

 

"Well," says the man, "several years ago I was cleaning the attic and found an old lamp. When I rubbed it, a Genie appeared and offered me two wishes. My first wish was that if I ever had to pay for anything, I would just put my hand in my pocket and the right amount of money would always be there."

 

"That's brilliant!" says the waitress. "Most people would ask for a million dollars or something, but you'll always be as rich a s you want for as long as you live!"

 

"That's right. Whether it's a gallon of milk or a Rolls Royce, the exact money is always there," says the man.

 

The waitress asks, "What's with the ostrich?"

 

The man sighs, pauses and answers, "My second wish was for a tall chick with long legs who agrees with everything I say."

[pricillia]

you are all actually pathetic with your little psychoanalyzing.

 

I have not lashed out or have i personally attacked anyone. As a matter of fact the one that started this was another bw who was angry and I came to the defense of the OW here because many were deceived and i stated that. It was in a thread concocted to personally mock me and i agreed with the BW's assessment of the threadwriter and then DEFENDED many of the OW's

 

Yousaveme then got personally offended. Why because she was engaged and doing a married man at the same time but how dare anyone judge that.

 

If you are so proud of your actions then scream it from the rooftops. Tell the world you are doing a married man. No instead you hide to get support.

 

I do not appreciate being accused of asking the mods to remove those threads. I did no such thing and actually would have enjoyed it if they stayed up so everyone could all see the real you. The ones who claim someone else is angry and in pain as you are mocking, insulting analyzing, gossiping and laughing amongst yourselves. Your true spirit came shining through as I kept my decorum.

 

Lashing out no i have not done. You just don't like to face reality. It hurts. You all are lashing out. You are in pain. You totally attacked that other poster who was so hurt and worried about her husband because she said it is sick to screw a MARRIED MAN. That was her opinion and to have this whole board jump on her as you all did was disgraceful. Maybe you should all look at your conduct in the threads that were pulled and why that might be. Look in the mirror.

 

I love to see threads like that remain and see your true anger, and me me me attitude emerge.

 

Anger no I have none. I laugh at you all at this point. I had a lot of sympathy for many of you but now it has turn to humor because i see what type of people many of you are.

 

I came here to get some understanding and I did. I got a lot of insight and am very happy. Some of you hate to hear that. One person continually must insinuate sex was involved in my sitch. You love to mock in your suddle ways. You love the ow role in the sense that you feel you have something over on the wife. You've one upped her but you are just the byproduct of a piece of cake with some fluffy icing.

 

I stayed here because i began to have some real sympathy for many of you and thought that possibly a wife could give you some insight. Men do not stay for kids. I really do not believe they do. Or i should say very few. I just do not know why you would waste YEARS of your lives on a loser who wants his wife and a girlfriend. Make a stand for YOU. Respect YOU and tell him he has to make a choice by a date and then LEAVE. If he loves you he'll be there.

 

I'm sure you know that though. you just don't want to face it.

 

How many true happy ever afters has this board had?

 

I can say that I understand where you are coming from, you are entitled to your opinion and that is fine. You do have some valid points.

 

And you do state your reality and your feelings about the OW/MM situation as you have been a part of this in your life as a BS, I do not know your whole story.

 

There have been so many back and forths about this subject and the harshness of your words, regardless of weather there is reality people still get offended, I am not asking you to sugar coat, however just remember and that goes both ways that there are people behind the words.

 

Gosh all of you it is holidays time of giving and caring and to know that we are all different...

 

I don't like living in this kind of pain and I am working it out in my head and my heart so they are thinking in the same way so I can one day move on...

 

If he leaves her will I take him yes with open arms, but that could be a long long way away or never happen at all.... and do I honestly want to wait around for that or not.

 

No one wants to be thought of as cake icing or anything fluffy... LOL

we are living breathing human beings and we are for what ever reason caught in something that is not truly fullfilling.

[yousaveme]

NF: are you kidding me? You havent attacked anyone. Then why is it that so many find hatred in your words.

 

Your offended by people saying you had the threads removed and etc....How do you think people react after being called SICK.