MissingMyHubby Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 To make it quick... Girl whom I love dated for 6 months. We broke up due to a number of reasons, about 4 months ago. A month ago we started to see each other again. We fixed our problems and things were rolling smoothly. She was being more cautious this time and I was starting to spin my wheels after a few weeks because I think she was afraid I was going to hurt her again. She did not want to commit and wanted me to still be there. One night I said I had enough, and I wrote her an email saying I had to let her go. She musta felt guilty or something because she told me later that she was about to say she was ready. Turns out the very day (2 days after I send her the letter stating Im thru) she was about to tell me she wants me wants me, not just wants me, I random guy had instant messaged her links to various things I had posted on another relationship msg' board. During our month of hanging out our 2nd go around, I was asking various questions as to what my next move should be etc. Included in these posts was a lot of detail, detail I should have known better about. And I would copy and paste a couple IM conversations we had w/o changing the screen names. Bad mistake. She reads everything I wrote, is FURIOUS, and calls me. I try to explain I was seeking advice and had no intention of hurting her. She is livid. 2 days later she tells me all her friends tell her that she should never talk to me again. I apologize for going into too much detail with some of my posts, but now she knows what I am thinking, and also probably read a great deal about herself and a lot of people didn't have a lot of nice things to say about her. I told her if she never wanted to talk to me again, I would understand. I was so close in getting her back , and then lost her. Now she says she needs time apart from me because she's never been hurt like this. We are trying to arrive at a conclusion as to whether we should do limited contact or no contact for a while. Help, anyone??? Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 Relationships shouldn't be this hard. Learn from your mistake and move on... This isn't going to be fixable.. Forget any kind of contact with her.. She will never forgive you and even if she says she can she won't be able to really make it happen.. She feels violated and that feeling will not go away Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissingMyHubby Posted December 9, 2006 Author Share Posted December 9, 2006 She says she sees potential in either limited contact and no contact. shes afraid if we do no contact for lets say, a month, that at the end of the month we may be on seperate pages and one person may get hurt. i understand that, but it proves whether or not the love is there. she sees that talking regularly isnt the answer either because she wants her space away from me and wants to get on an even keel since shes so hurt right now, but at the same time wants to talk on occasion to step ourselves in the right direction. my gut is telling me that there should be no rules. just call if you want to call. opinions? art critic i hope you are wrong. but i can see her never being able to fully get over it. man i am an idiot. Link to post Share on other sites
silentalways Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 ok...important point u are missing already she is reaching out...needs limited contact u do not at this time - u might later so, suck it up and support her yer comment is placing yer expectations on her - did u do that previously? maybe u are not as ready as u think look she is taking a huge step - telling u how hurt she is and showing that she loves u enuff to start reconnecting u should be freaking happy man - i see nothing but positives - the only thing i would suggest is that u both have an understanding that u are both truly committed to working and that should mean not dating others, etc. if either want that then whats the point and last - for the first while - leave the heavy stuff alone - you've done enuff of that - go have fun fer pete sake Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissingMyHubby Posted December 9, 2006 Author Share Posted December 9, 2006 silentalways you wrote this "u do not at this time - u might later" do what??? and this....yer comment is placing yer expectations on her - did u do that previously? what comment?? and you wrote this....and last - for the first while - leave the heavy stuff alone - you've done enuff of that - go have fun fer pete sake whats the heavy stuff??? the detail i got into in my posts?? you are right about 1 thing for certain, she doesn't want to throw me away and also I should tell her that we can t be dating others while trying to reconnect. Link to post Share on other sites
Krytellan Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 I think the bottom line is that you can feel whatever way you want about the situation, but if she wants to go to NC, then anything you do other than that will not help your situation. You screwed up here, I think you would admit, so you have to choose to go her way or the highway... which is it? Link to post Share on other sites
heartbroken1234 Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 Listen, in my opinion, if she wanted you back and truly loved you, she'd be with you regardless anything that has happened. Yeah, people can get hurt, upset, frustrated, but if you truly love someone, you'll overlook that stuff and just be happy ot be with the person you love. Don't beat yourself up over this. You have told her how you felt, and really thats all you can do. Just continue to stay true to your heart and how you feel. If she wants you back and loves you, it will work out! What's meant to be will be! Link to post Share on other sites
Author MissingMyHubby Posted December 10, 2006 Author Share Posted December 10, 2006 I know what you mean about her being able to overlook things and just love me regardless. I think that perhaps her love isn't all that strong but at the same time she just can't let go. I had been hanging out with her for a month and she wouldn't want to commit not to mention her ex bf wanted to talk to her about "them" and I figured it was my time to step out of the picture. I think a small part of me believes that she's upset with me because her ex bf found out we were sleeping together and thus it ruined her chances of reconciling with him. Or I may be thinking too hard. All in all, all her friends told her to never talk to me again, and I told her I would understand if she never did. But she still is kind of, and I am thinking if we talk once a week or 2 for a while she will either grow apart from me or realize she wants to be with me. I had been strung along for too long with her anyways and I needed to let her go, and then at that moment pretty much she was ready to want to be with me when I backed off, but then that same day poop hit the fan. Link to post Share on other sites
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