Ace Posted July 1, 2002 Share Posted July 1, 2002 My good friend has went out with this girl once or twice now. The second time, I went with them to the movies and just hung out for awhile. I really like her a lot and was flirting a little and she was flirting back and I sense that she likes me as well, but she is "going out" with my other friend. She is such a nice girl and he is kinda slutty and I think that she deserves more, but I just can't tell her that! I would reallly like to go out with her, but I don't know what to do. What do you guys think I should do? Link to post Share on other sites
The Truth Posted July 1, 2002 Share Posted July 1, 2002 Coming from personal experience I understand your dilemma. However in order to grasp the severity of this situation we need to analyze a few things...Firstly, you have to (know matter how hard it is) stay true to the code and yourself. Im talking about the unwritten rule that states "you can't date your friends prospective, current, or ex love interests". No matter how disheartening it is, No matter how wrong he is for her, and right for you she is, you must exercise good judgement. If you were to handle this situation wrong, you might lose both your friend and your love interest. Though all is not lost, I believe that if your friendship is strong enough you and your friend should be able to talk about it. Because if he's as slutty a you say he is, he probably has (or is working on) other options. In any case, my advice is to tread softly and talk to your friend first...once you have a good idea where he's coming from, it will put you in a better position to make your next move. Be brave, and be strong good luck -The Truth Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 1, 2002 Share Posted July 1, 2002 I really feel so sorry for your friend, having a guy he thinks is a friend who has designs on the girl he is dating. Don't join them on their outings anymore...and don't sling the word "slutty" around anymore. I think it would be pretty "slutty" for you to pursue a lady your friend is dating. I think it's very slutty for her to be flirting with you while she's out with your friend. I promise you things wouldn't work out with you and she would be flirting with some other guy if she every did see you. Would you even want a girl who would swing from one guy to the other on a whim? Go find your own girls...and work on being a better friend to people. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ace Posted July 1, 2002 Author Share Posted July 1, 2002 I was not about to go do anything with her at this point in time, but my post was a relief for me to tell someone, to just get it out because I haven't told anyone that I know yet. The reason that I feel this way is because I rarely date nowadays because of my past relationship and now, I think that I have found a girl that I really like and she likes me is very disheartening. My friend has only went out this girl once and that is why I don't find this such a big deal. I am, by no means, going to actively pursue this and try to get them to stop going out, but I am just hoping for the best. I really don't like to call my friend slutty, but it is just that he is the type of guy that goes out and will have sex with anyone if they want to. Sometimes, after he is "tired" of them, he will just dump them, which is not right at all! When all of us were over at my place playing euchre, the girl that he is "going out" with got very drunk and we literally had to take care of her. Her and my friend left and that is all that I saw of them that night. The next day he came up to me and bragged about how he slept at her place and messed around a little bit. This girl was waaaaaaaay too intoxicated to be doing ANYTHING with. I would feel horrible if I did such a thing. The thing is, she seems like such an innocent, sweet girl and seeing her with him just makes me shake my head. O well, what's a nice guy like me to do anyway, but think about what could be, which probably never will be. I still believe that motto how nice guys finish last.... Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 1, 2002 Share Posted July 1, 2002 YOU WRITE: "The thing is, she seems like such an innocent, sweet girl and seeing her with him just makes me shake my head." What she does with her life is her business, not yours. She has lessons to learn and you shouldn't interfere, unless you're a very close friend of hers. If she's sharp, she'll learn fast...if not, it will take more time. If you keep thinking nice guys finish last, and you think you're a nice guy, that will be the truth for you. I suggest, however, that you part from this couple and go find your own girls and stop getting interested in ladies who other people are dating. If your buddy dates her for a while and dumps her like he has done with others in the past, let it be. His life should be no concern of yours...until he starts going after your sister. Link to post Share on other sites
wUnDeRbUg Posted July 2, 2002 Share Posted July 2, 2002 Ace.... First you said he dated her once or twice (you obviously know which it is, it's not like the difference between 36 and 37 times)...now you say it was only once and that it's not a big deal. I see you trying to justify things. I don't see her as sweet or innocent at all. A quality girl or woman will not flirt with her guy's friend, period. She sounds like she knows exactly what she's doing. Also, a quality girl or woman will not get so wasted that she's not in control of herself. Can anyone say, "control your liquor"? If you feel you have feelings for her, in light of the situation, distance yourself totally from her/her & him. Destroying your friendship with him is not worth it, and that's what will happen should he realize/find out that you have the hots for his girl. That's only understandable. People should be able to trust that their friends will know the boundaries of good taste and respect. And also, if she's acting so hoochie with you, while out with him, she'd definitely be no different if you were dating her and she developed a 'thing' for one of your friends. If anyone is slutty here, I'd say it's her. Maybe that's a bit strong. How about tacky? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ace Posted July 2, 2002 Author Share Posted July 2, 2002 I consider myself a nice guy and I just hate to see sweet girls (at least I think that she is sweet) get hurt or go out with players. I can't stand to see girls go through that. I will not, by any means, try to go out with this girl while she is dating my friend, but the thought will always be there no matter what. They have only went out one other time besides when they went with me. She just met the guy and they barely know each other, but I know that is no excuse. They are going out and that is that. I understand, but you have to see where I am coming from here. I guess this all is important to me because I rarely meet a nice girl that doesn't have "issues". She seems like a nice girl that would be fun to go out with. Honestly, I wish that she would not have flirted with me because it just fuels the fire. I basically knew the answer to my inquiry before I am even posted, but I guess I just had to hear it from someone. Thanks for you guys' time. Link to post Share on other sites
questionaire Posted July 2, 2002 Share Posted July 2, 2002 MY BEST ADVICE FOR YOU IS find another girl for yourself and ignore them if your friend DUMBS her and she comes to you, IT IS DIFFERENT STORY if that girl is smart, she will know what to do with her life if not, it's not everybody's concern. YOU LIVE AND YOU LEARN i dated 1 girl who is so stupid that i have to bye bye her. i don't want to date a girl who doesn't have good attitude with other people and importantly she acts stupidly that's beyond my comprehensive. Link to post Share on other sites
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