Trystero Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 *I posted this a couple of weeks ago on MySpace and got flamed beyond belief, so please no flames, okay? I don't want to go through that again.* Okay, so I'm twenty-one years old and I've never had a girlfriend. I've never been on a date, in fact, or gotten a kiss. I don't think I'm extremely hideous or anything, and I'd like to think I'm relatively intelligent and polite. As best as I can say, I'm just shy. BUT--and I want to put the emphasis on the but--I would think that the occasional woman would show the tiniest bit of attraction to me, but I don't see that happening (i.e. I just don't see those kinds of signals from any woman). Women seem to look right past me like I don't exist. I can't actually remember any time a woman just decided to start a casual conversation with me. I'm starting to feel like a ghost around women, honestly, and it's painful. I'm also afraid, on the other hand, that if I ever had a girlfriend, she'd quickly see what I'm like (i.e. needy, insecure, and self-absorbed) and dump me ASAP. And that type of hurt obviously I don't need. And I'm afraid that, if she didn't see those qualities, or was nice enough to try to work through them, I would end up hurting her through them (i.e. ignoring her and concentrating on my own needs). Hurting another person isn't my imperative at all. Quite truthfully, I'm confused. I've desired a serious relationship with a person of the opposite sex for so long, but I can't seem to force myself to do anything about it. Advice? Opinions? Derisive laughter? Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 You're not a loser and no one will laugh at you here. Let me be the first to welcome you to LS! So am I reading this right..are you waiting for a girl to approach YOU? Have you ever approached a girl and talked to her or asked one out ever? If so what happened. I think we need more info here. Link to post Share on other sites
InsanityImpaired Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 Missing out on an early relationship does not mean that you would be a failure. It will make you a bit less experienced (and yes, quite a few women like that), and certainly will prevent you from having serious issues stemming from past relationships (and who wants to deal with break-ups that are still lingering on, children from previous relationships et cetera). The shyness and the politeness may be cause of your lack of success, but are very good and important qualities. Changing that, to get a girlfriend will not work, because you will be ill at ease as a result of the change, and chances are you are asked / demanded to do many things you really don't like doing. Chances of such a change working longterm are slim. Seriously, there are not many people around below the age of 25 who know what they want, so chances that you would have run into one, and have a certain chemistry (or how you would call it) are low. You may be making too much effort. The effort is perceived, and that leads to the ignoring. Just try to relax, and do not give it too much thought (yet). From the way you worded things, you will make a certain lady quite happy. Link to post Share on other sites
che_jesse Posted December 9, 2006 Share Posted December 9, 2006 Your probably just missing the signals, at most women will give you a few words here and there, some interest in whatever you just said, and a "Hi" before your Calc III class. Its up to you to do the rest. Link to post Share on other sites
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