Author stillhere Posted December 10, 2006 Author Share Posted December 10, 2006 Oh, i'm so happy!! The guys working on the house next door to mine, whisteled at me when i walked out of my house!! That made my day!!! I just turned around, gave them a smile, and got in my truck. It's nice to know that i still appeal to other men!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 Don't feel bad! Going to bed before 10 actually helps contribute to a healthy lifestyle according to Kevin Treaudeau. Remember the saying "Early to bed and early to rise makes a man healthy, wealthy and wise"? And 39 is NOT old! My MW is 46 and has the heart of a teenager. But you are older than me since I'm 31... he he \ I am 41 and I am dating two 30 year olds.... Yeah....it's fun. Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 \ I am 41 and I am dating two 30 year olds.... Yeah....it's fun. YOU GO GIRL!!! My personal preference is older men... Link to post Share on other sites
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted December 10, 2006 Share Posted December 10, 2006 really then why is he calling me all the time? he should cool that off to don't you think? I did not mean to hurt your feelings. But usually when a MM wants to move on, they withhold the sex first - to adjust you to the "just friends" routine. Then, they withhold the frequency of contact. It is a slow weaning, for themselves, really. Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 YOU GO GIRL!!! My personal preference is older men... I have always preferred older men also, but lately, my tastes have changed to the younger ones.... Perhaps its just a phase I am in. But these men are so attentive and sweet..and they aren't boy toys. I'm not that way.... I don't know. I can't put my finger on their charms, but whatever it is, I like it! Link to post Share on other sites
movinon05 Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 KHLF has a point and I don't know your whole story, but there is another factor which you might want to consider. Perhaps now he is getting his physical needs met at home (for whatever reason) but what he is getting from you is the emotional needs boost to his ego. He looks at you that way, yes, but he's also not taking your feelings into consideration. If this is the way its going to be, what is in this for you? You become his emotional "companion" and he gets all his needs met from two women. In a normal healthy relationship, S guy- S girl, or a healthy marriage, both partners' needs are being met physically and emotionally. For most women, sex is a very emotionally and physically satisfying experience. Assuming he's not in this for the sex (and apparently its looking that way now), what do YOU want from this relationship? What do YOU need? An Affair is a bad enough circumstance as it is. But at this point, is what YOU are getting from this R enough to keep you in it? And how long will this "companionship" be enough to satisfy you? Link to post Share on other sites
Freedom Now Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 I agree completely with movinon. Link to post Share on other sites
silentalways Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 i hope i am not boring people with all my posts in here. i just wanted to add another storyline to the 'is he/she into....etc. this is a classic example of what i was trying to explain how when u are not 'well' sites like these work for and against u. example: i could read a really positive post, and it would 'appear to me" as a post by my ex but because it has not absoluteness attached to it - i can't attach anything to that, but the heart whats to, and u read another post by the same 'moniker' that sounded positive only it talks about every way one can mock and devalue the ex and when u are already suffering and not quite there, the pain of that, of isolation, everything leads u away from what u orginally wanted to do and that focus on figuring out the things u need but it blends with emotion and u long for release but know it only comes from within and some people have to go to amazing depths of darkness to see the light and i was embarassed that i would allow conjecture to make my mind wild, that ignorance led to suspenions which is really the devaluation of the person u love and believe in and that builds until finally the dam breaks, the village is flooded, and some paddles by in a canoe and offers u a relaxing trip back to the shoreline and that all is needed and it frustrating when something so small could mean so much to decide whether a person sinks or swims - i truly believe i am lucky to still be alive and that's because i don't want to die - but sometimes u can't do that alone - there has been only person that has almost seen everything and never doubted was concerned but never caused further grief and that is an amazing skill to have, i learned from this person [lives near me] and i will use that if anyone ever needs the support i needed i mentioned already about the power of BELIEVING in someone - and how that translates not just for the man but the woman to.....if a MAN tells you that is all he needs from you - there is really no greater compliment a woman can received because what he is saying is really I BELIEVE IN YOU [its that flow / connection /natural thang where you don't have to break it down into details as to WHY that is - it just is! now, in my case, its pretty freaking obvious which side of the street i am on - and its not a one - way - traffic goes in both directions - just like in a relationship where sometimes one drive this way and the other drive that way but they are both still on the same street driving and that's all that matters. sites like these have had pros and cons for me because while they have helped me thru things they also contributed to my delusional state because i would read a post and read into things like if someone used a by-line SILENCE IS GOLDEN [silence = the ex / golden = me moniker] and then i would read things that could be addressed for me - but u start doing that when your mind has already been bruised and your faith and hope ruined and i would talk to someone about saying....yes, i know, there is nothing in there that could actually prove what i am saying, i am only going on feeling - and the more i saw things that 'looked' like, i had to fight off the desire to not believe these were related to her, because if they were, it was only more punishing to me - more torture thinking here i am 'talking' with her, but if it is, then the fact, this is the best i can do? i've hurt her that bad? and if not, then, i'm an idiot - and the continued NC made me spin in circles - all the while i was doing the work to get rid of the crap that destroy the relationship, and missing work, neglect myself and everyone, because i know, have always know that this is the key - all i need, to hear her say I BELIEVE WHAT U ARE SAYING because thats why she left - I WAS NO LONGER SOMEONE SHE TRUSTED and i couldn't live with that - it is the enabler of everything else - i lose that monkey and the rest fall safely in pieces all around me. but i also am leaving with the knowledge of what i know as fact, her 'seen' actions - any 'real attempt' at contact has resulted in serious events - given presents mean calls to police, apolgizes top daughter for making her feel frighten during my depression mean calls to the school, just showing up someqwhere that she is raises suspesion in her, i have seen the text in the court order - and which each blow i lose more of myself, and then start doing what i know will only help me in terms of releasing sorrow, so i reach out, ask for just something with no strings attached, just a sign of caring and belief, and of course nothing comes because she probably never sees these things and i internalize that pain while examining the ways i hurt her and finding solutions to rid myself of bad learned behaviours, while everything all around me is choas, friends calling police, etc. and it gets to the point where it became her hating me so much to want to never contact me and fear and hate me that i believe i am the danger, i am the one everyone needs out of their life so because i love them, and my existence is hurting them - i must remove myself without actually removing myself - and when u are that hurt and gone u don't see and understand that the RIGHT answer to that is GET THE BACK ON TRACK - BE THE MAN U WERE BUT BETTER - but when u have lost your moral and ethica compass and desrepect A REAL TRUE LOVE you can't ask them for anything and the pain builds up until u know inside all you need is to lay down beside them, hearing them breathe, just the comfort that connection shown simply with caring gives - and u think i am not even worth that. BUT then u realize they did NC so they can and i can do the work we couldn't do together and not for getting back but to get better - and that is a sign of LOVE and CARING and you slowly crawl back Link to post Share on other sites
GreenEyedLady Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 SW: I've read your post but I'm not sure what you actually mean by it... Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 This post is truly sad to me. the weekends where everyone is out having fun and doing something with their so you are all home on a computer. Yes you were alone. Everyone else was spending their weekend living their life while yours is on hold waiting for the mm to be done with his weekend family obligations. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 This post is truly sad to me. the weekends where everyone is out having fun and doing something with their so you are all home on a computer. Yes you were alone. Everyone else was spending their weekend living their life while yours is on hold waiting for the mm to be done with his weekend family obligations. I was not alone, I worked all weekend and went out with my friends.... You were on the computer as well... so none of that! Link to post Share on other sites
Chapter2 Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 How sad that you think anyone here cares what you think is sad. It was me that reminded you of the very same thing on Thanksgiving day and asked why you weren't snuggled up with your extremely happy husband instead of on LS...remember dear? It seems someone with your happiness would be out "living her life" as you put it instead of passing judgement on an OM/OW forum, especially on a day built entirely around being thankful for what we have. Nope, you were right here with us other "sad" people as you put it. You seem to have zero dignity NF. You cannot resist entering a thread that has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. Who is sad???? This post is truly sad to me. the weekends where everyone is out having fun and doing something with their so you are all home on a computer. Yes you were alone. Everyone else was spending their weekend living their life while yours is on hold waiting for the mm to be done with his weekend family obligations. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 I did not mean to hurt your feelings. But usually when a MM wants to move on, they withhold the sex first - to adjust you to the "just friends" routine. Then, they withhold the frequency of contact. It is a slow weaning, for themselves, really. I do not disagree with you totally as I know that he is going through so many things. I don't know if it is hard for him to switch gears... I have plans with him on Wednesday, but I was thinking about canceling, I do miss him though. I feel that he is so stressed and unhappy at home that he is in a continuous circle of negativity. Other than the fact that I need to learn how to save money and finances, I feel that I am a free spirit in a sense that I have nothing to hide. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 How sad that you think anyone here cares what you think is sad. It was me that reminded you of the very same thing on Thanksgiving day and asked why you weren't snuggled up with your extremely happy husband instead of on LS...remember dear? It seems someone with your happiness would be out "living her life" as you put it instead of passing judgement on an OM/OW forum, especially on a day built entirely around being thankful for what we have. Nope, you were right here with us other "sad" people as you put it. You seem to have zero dignity NF. You cannot resist entering a thread that has absolutely NOTHING to do with you. Who is sad???? do you see the difference in our posts chapter2? Mine was not judging you nor personally attacking you. Mine was stating that I find it sad for you. That can be taken in MANY different tones. I truly find it sad. I find it sad you are in this position and this man has made your life nothing but a waiting game. No one deserves that. Yours on the other hand was a total judgment and a personal attack. You even personally stated that I have zero dignity. Interesting how things are perceived is it not? Reality hurts and you bite back. It is sad. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 I was not alone, I worked all weekend and went out with my friends.... You were on the computer as well... so none of that! :laugh: see then it was not sad for you. you had a nice weekend and did not waste it wondering what a married man was doing and waiting to hear from him. Link to post Share on other sites
Chapter2 Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 NF, there were about 20 people asking you to take a good, hard look at yourself last week and "someone" asked the mods to remove the threads. You have revealed yourself time and again. You seem to have an odd perception of judgement as well. To label an entire thread of people as "sad" is judgement NF. In light of the fact that we live in the United States, you are perfectly entitled to state that you think a group of people is "sad" just as I am entitled to tell you what I think of what you said. Its called freedom NF. No one is confused about your post...it was not meant to be encouraging. And, yes, I own my intent. My intent was to tell you exactly what I told you. do you see the difference in our posts chapter2? Mine was not judging you nor personally attacking you. Mine was stating that I find it sad for you. That can be taken in MANY different tones. I truly find it sad. I find it sad you are in this position and this man has made your life nothing but a waiting game. No one deserves that. Yours on the other hand was a total judgment and a personal attack. You even personally stated that I have zero dignity. Interesting how things are perceived is it not? Reality hurts and you bite back. It is sad. Link to post Share on other sites
Chapter2 Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Half the people on this thread (if you knew them at all) aren't even involved with a MM! But you speak in difinitives..."Everyone else was spending their weekend living their lives while yours is on hold waiting for the MM" ... That really is AGAIN like someone saying all BW's act a certain way...its silly. I still would love to know how old you are. I really would. This post is truly sad to me. the weekends where everyone is out having fun and doing something with their so you are all home on a computer. Yes you were alone. Everyone else was spending their weekend living their life while yours is on hold waiting for the mm to be done with his weekend family obligations. Link to post Share on other sites
noforgiveness Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 theres the big difference chapter 2. I did not call the people sad. I called the situation sad. You seem to be judging yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
pricillia Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 No forgiveness, I apprreciate your concern for us OW... No one wants to be told that there life is sad and yes it can be taken many different ways. But it seems as if you take some pleasure in rubbing it in, now I could be wrong however that is how it seems. None of us really want to be in this difficult situation and none of us take pleasure in it at all so for you to say that it is sad just fuels the fire... maybe that is what you intended to do? I know that you look down on all of us as is your right but at this point you should just let it go if at all possible. Link to post Share on other sites
Chapter2 Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 There was no encouragement there whatsoever... and you know that NF. Reframe it however you want to but you've already shown your stripes. This is boring. I'm going shopping now. I really do hope you have a great day NF. Maybe your days will get so good that you change your name to YesForgiveness:) :) :) Now THAT would be a true heart change! theres the big difference chapter 2. I did not call the people sad. I called the situation sad. You seem to be judging yourself. Link to post Share on other sites
yousaveme Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 I think the whole point of thread was missed. Wasnt talking about not having the MM around. But you didnt see that. Of course not. Why do you come here? You dont try and help anyone. You dont try and understand anything, like some have. You do nothing but verbally abuse others. Threads are removed once you start going after people. You have been asked by many too look at what you are doing. You want OW/OM to look at ourselves, well take a look in the mirror. You say you dont get OW being with a MM. ( sorry im going to bit my tongue here) But some might know what im ready to say. Funny how all of last week a question was asked about a PM going around asking OW not to respond to BS so they would go away. I dont believe such a PM existed I do believe that a lie it was created for pity. Funny how threads that were created to lighten a mood, and were deleted after certain posts. HMMMMMMMMM. If your so HAPPY....why are you so hateful? ( But I think most of us already figured that out). Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Nope didnt get scared off. Worked Saturday, then spent all day yesterday riding. With all we have been doing to the house to get it finished for the population double thats occuring soon the boys and I decided we needed a break. So we loaded up all the machines, picked up STBDW and her kids and went riding for the day. We all had a GREAT time. Her youngest is six and this past summer was the first time she had ever been on an ATV. She looks so cute in her helmat, boots, chest protector. Needless to say we were all beat when we got home last night. Link to post Share on other sites
peacelove Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 We figured out that she is hateful & unhappy withing the first sentence of her first post. Sad!! Link to post Share on other sites
yousaveme Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Nope didnt get scared off. Worked Saturday, then spent all day yesterday riding. With all we have been doing to the house to get it finished for the population double thats occuring soon the boys and I decided we needed a break. So we loaded up all the machines, picked up STBDW and her kids and went riding for the day. We all had a GREAT time. Her youngest is six and this past summer was the first time she had ever been on an ATV. She looks so cute in her helmat, boots, chest protector. Needless to say we were all beat when we got home last night. Happy to hear to you a great day Link to post Share on other sites
bonehead Posted December 11, 2006 Share Posted December 11, 2006 Happy to hear to you a great day Motrin has been my best friend today though Link to post Share on other sites
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