Breaking away from being shy

[Chads]

Hey everyone,

 

I’m 18 and a freshman in college. Throughout my life, I have always been a shy kid. Things slowly got better as time went on but it was not really until my senior year in high school that I really began to make some progress and start breaking out of my shell. During my senior year, I really expanded my group of friends and have been having much more fun. Even though things are changing for the better, I am still looking for some advice to help me get myself to where I want to be.

 

So now, I know that I am usually not afraid to express my opinion or just have fun. My problem is that I feel like I too often do not have anything to contribute in a conversation. I end up just sitting there while everyone else seems to be active in the discussion. Now this doesn’t happen all the time, every once in awhile I am the one who leads conversations or has the most to say, but not very often. I feel that one of my problems is that I really do not have that much knowledge about several daily conversation topics. I am a freshman in college now and up until this year, I really did not have much interest in following sports teams or keeping up with all the entertainment news. When I was a kid, I liked to play sports and computer games and got into graphic design; I never really paid any attention to many topics, I guess you could say I was in my own world. Now, I feel like I am behind on information.

 

When people talk about their classes and academics, I am usually involved in those conversations as everyone shares those experiences. But when it comes to things like football, basketball, actors, movies, music, etc I just don’t have that much input.

So now I am looking for advice on a few things; how to become more outgoing, how to become a better conversationalist and what is a good way to catch up and then stay updated about all of the things that everyone likes to talk about. Even if I am not strongly interested in some topics, I would still like to be able to have at least some knowledge about them.

 

Thanks a lot in advance and I look forward to reading some of your responses.

 

Chads

[bluescreenlife]

actively listening can be just as good as or better than speaking. The important thing is that you're not in your head thinking when you're not talking; just really engage and listen to the other person, you'll learn some cool things about them and about the world, and they'll pick up that you're paying attention and feel good about it.

 

I don't follow pop culture or watch TV at all and it doesn't really hold me back socially. I just choose the company of people who are more interested in ideas and I tend to direct conversations that way. If something comes up that I don't know much about I might say "I don't know much about that, tell me more," and then listen and reflect some things back that show I'm pretty sharp and comprehending. As for being a good conversationalist, just read some books and cultivate your own interests in pretty much anything - if you've got a unique perspective, cool people will be interested.

[Chads]

Yea I understand what you mean. I was just thinking that if I was a bit more well rounded then it would be easier for me to relate to more things with different people. Anyone have any suggestions?