embracing the breakdown

[silentalways]

contrary to popular belief and word on the street, i do not have a desire or love of the dark side of the soul. i just did my fill of a period of turbulent personal, family, and most importantly relationship crisis where i needed to actually focus on the meanings and causes of my trauma. i spent many solitrary sessions alone in my study, just me, my tiny violin and slide guitar where i painted lanscapes that detail how we respond to that good old psychic sword that hangs over everyone head at some point in their life. and i always knew that i would navigate the stormy seas of relationship and disappointments. i chose to undertake this exercise, and i am not talking about all the crap, i mean the journey that leads to the path back out thru the forest and when too sweet nostalgic music from a bird flu cd stops being achingly wounded to yer ear, and the tunes lead you back to the odyssey, and instead of wishing u could conjure up good lost times, u give yerself hyer own invention, and say 'enuff;! sometimes i feel cursed because of some lame artistic vision that desires to see into the deepest pain and despair their and do so because u recognize at the end of the rainbow there is profound value to be had and perhaps the opportunity to once again gaze upon the transcendend beauty of someone that was there with u thru all that all the time. if we all have the courage to accept such challanges, and embrance the 'workings' of them, and LOVE the fact that you are doing something that will forever reward u - that is beautiful music to my ears.