friends with ex girlfriend?

[anto0o]

me and my exgirlfriend have been broken up for maybe 2 months now...1 month of that she was in a relationship with some **** that i told her was no good for her...and low and behold he used her and left her...naturally when i heard about this i cared...i unblocked her on aim and she immediatly IMed me...she then started explaining what happened...and of course i was there for her...it was pissing me off...but i did it anyway cause she needed that shoulder...so one night we went out just us 2 to a spot where we always go to when we want it just us 2...we had a great time there...and when we got back we had to pick up her sister from work...while waiting for her sister she asked for a hug...i ofcourse agreed...and i had soooo many goosebumps everyhair on my body was standing...she started kissing my neck and i was telling myself yessss this is greattt...then her sister comes up sees us hugging and walks away lol...so we let go...and she asks for another one...i give it to her and same feeling...she says wow this is great..i said yea...then she asks me how i would feel if we started making out...i said i don't know....she then asked me if i wanted to find out...i looked at her with a serious face and said...not really...and i drove her home..i then apologized to her online for making her feel that way...but that i had to much respect for her to take advantage of her(any other guy would had so took that chance...but i couldnt...) so we've been hanging out alot recently...but i get angry and angry everytime...not because shes a bad person..but because i don't see it going anywhere...like as good as that idea sounds...i cant do it to myself...on her birthday i suprised her in the morning with a cake and candles and sang happy birthday ... she was kinda suprised...i then hung out with her and her sister(me and the sister got reallll close)at her house...i was laying on the couch and she comes over to kiss me...i turn my head and she says what u think i was gonna kiss you on the lips? i said yea..thats y i turned my head...so she came for another kiss...this time i didn't move and she got real close to my lips...and then she came for another kiss...and kissed my lips...and then said i love you...i looked at her and said why would u say that? she said what ? i do love you...i said okay w/e...then she asks me if i was going to her birthday dinner with her girlfriends...i said no...lol...she then said come on pleasee i would love for you to be there...she then left her house syiang okay i'll see u tonight...i ended up going because my date for the night(her sister) wanted to go...anyways...like a fool i ended up paying for her, her good friend and her sister...i bought her a $350 northface jacket for her birthday...i take her out to lunch all the time...but i feel horrible and used when i do it...she says not topay for her...but i can't help it...i pay for allll my girl friends and i never feel bad...but i do with her...there are plenty of times i told her to walk out my life...and she always comes back...

 

she then got jealous of this girl that i was seeing...and IMed me making her choose between the two...i found this to be veryyy unfair because shes into a guy and i'm not making her choose...but like a fool...i picked my ex over the new girl...only because she said these words...QUOTE "but im willin to sacrifice my image to show u that i ****in care and that still love u and that u are someone to me and im not goin to let some skank ass hoe bitch wreck that for me and if it means me steppin out into the ring to prove that ill do it witout hesistation" those words hit me like a bag of bricks...i started crying again...i then told her that our relationship is identical to ross and rachael from friends...she then started calling me ross...and i put a video on myspace about them and she was like omggg thats sooo cuteeee...and things were fine between me and her for a lil..but that soon died out on my side...

 

i went to her house like 3 days ago to explain something to her...we talked for a lil and then she went on her flings myspace...she started crying because he changed his status from single to in a relationship..i got mad at that...and told her to get real...that he never cared for u...she said yes he did...and wanted to write him a letter to tell him off...i then told her not to because its a waiste of time...she said no shes gonna do it..and i took her lap top away from her...she got mad at me..i then gave it back to her. and she started crying again...then i tried to rub her shoulder and she said not to touch her(like i was gonna take advantage of her) and i said ok w/e then she says can u please leave i wanna be alone...i got up and said wtf is wrong with you...your so stupid...and said u know what ... i'm leaving u...me and u this "friendship" of ours is done right now...u just lost the best thing in ur life...and of course didn't acknowledge me..but i just stormed out the house...3 hours later she calls me wanting to meet up saying she felt a whole lot better because she wrote the letter...i didn't wanna meet up with her but she kept nagging and i fell into it lol..so when we met up she started flirting with me SO hard...like on a scale of 1-10 she would be at 50...i took in some of it and rejected alot ofit...but then she would bring up her being nervous because shes going on a date with some kid the next day...and i told her...yea thats nice...its not that i get jealous...i just don't wanna hear about it...its annoying...

 

she then calls her friends to see what they were doing cause tahts what she orginally was gonna do...hang out with her girls...when she hangs up the phone she tells me that there drinking...i said okay are you gonna drink? she said nooo i'm driving...i said ur a good girl...so when i drop her off at her car she suprisingly asks me for a hug...i give her a hug and a kiss on the neck..and she does the same...i go home and see her only like 15 min later...and she ims me saying everyone is drinking...i obviously think that shes not drinking and ask her to call me when she leaves so that i know shes not drunk(this is a thursday night)she says okay..i then tell her i'm going out and i wont' be home till late but to call me anyways...she sad okay np...

 

she then calls me that night saying "i'm trashed"(its about a 30 min drive from her friends house to her house, even if it was a 30 second drive i wouldn't want her driving)...i got soooooo angry at her...her friends are drunk saing "i wanna to talk himmmmmm" and she loses service...she calls me from like 3 different phones...and none have service...i got sooo angry that i just stopped picking up her calls...i picked up on one phone call and i said let me ask you something...did u drink? she said yea..i said why? she said because i wanted to...i said okay...u know what...**** YOU and get out my life...and i hung up...she called me throughout the whole night and i didn't pick up the call...

 

(friday morning) she calls me 830 in the morning i'm taking my accounting test and i end her calls right away...but stupid me forgot to put the phone on vibrate lol...so when i got out of school around 11...i call her to ask her what she wants...she said she wants to see me and talk to me and to go to her job...i said no...theres nothing to do there...she said please come i wanna see u...w/e me being a dick i go there...she starts flirting again and starts saying don't be angry at her...and then she notices that i don't give a **** and says shes nervous about her date that night..i said thats nice ... i then said can i leave pleasE? this is boring u don'te xcite me anymore...she said nooo stayyyy so i stay w/e everytime i try to walk out she gets mad...so i stayed till her boss came around and got her in trouble lol...

 

later on that night she calls me when she got home...and calls me while shes driving to her date...(wtf is the point of that?)i tell her i gotta go and she says she'll call me when shes going home...she calls me around 330 and i said i'll call u later i'm at a strip club...she said WHAT ur crazy...i said yea let me call u later...so she calls me like 30 min later while im driving home and i tell her that one of my friends just started getting feelings for his ex that he was broken up for for like 5 months...and shes like wow...and she siad that her "fling" got back with his ex...so w/e i tell her i'm goin to bed...

 

(saturday morning) she calls me non stop from work and keeps me on the phone longer than usual...instead of hanging up when a customer comes she puts me on speaker and tells me to hold...she then asks me if i woulda come to her friends house on friday night if she askd me i said yea...why not..she said o...then invites me to a lcub that night..i tell her why don't u bring the guy that u like? shes like no because hes shopping and he won't be home till 10 at night(who goes shopping for 12 hours?lol) and he might not wanna go i doubt he'll wanna go...so i said i dunno i'll see if i could get out of work...and i said to myself...if my boss lets me out then i'll go..otherwise nope...and **** he said yea u can go lol...so i ended up going and while driving there i askd her again why she didn't go with him and she says he got out the gym late and was tired...i said uh huh i thought he was shopping till 10...she said no he woke up to late to go...(but i didn't bring up the fact that she said he was already shopping and how late can u wake up if the mall closes at 10pm?) so w/e we get there and she like...puts me aside...we like seperate...she starts dancing with like every guy she sees...and i wait till my friends get there and start dancing with them...i didn't get jealous...just pissed that u would invite me and do that **** in front of me...anyways..i got soooo durnk that night..i'm glad i brought my automatic car otherwise we woulda ben ****ed lol..she drove home and all idid was throw up...when we got home she didnt' even walk me inside or ask if i was okay...just parked my car got into hers and left.....

 

the next day she calls me and says yo u were madd runk did u have fun...i said yea let me callu back later okay? shes like okayy, but ofcourse i don't call her at all...later that night she ims me and says how come u didn't call me...i said i forgot..and brushed her off...shes like y u mad? i said i'm not mad...and put my away message up and went to bed...

 

i wanna cut her out my life but i ust want my 200 that i lent her back...i'm not that type of person that needs that money...but its the principle..i want it back...shes the only person i ever askd for money back from...after i get it back i feel i could finally let her go...it hurts me alot...but i know i have to do it...can anyone suggest something? or maybe read wtf is going on in her head?

[anto0o]

i've told her over and over and over again that i think its best that we don't talk...but she insist on being friends...

 

me: can u stop making me crazy

me: stop making me choose

her: SORRY

her: IT SHOULDNT BE HARD ANTONIO

her: IF U REALLY WANTED THINGS WIT ME

her: AND U WANTED TO TRY

her: SHE WOULDNT BE AN OPTION

her: THAT SLUT

her: TOO BAD.....

her: ITS JUST TOO BAD...

her: antonio i learn it from u babes

her: i learn that when u want something

her: u dont stop fightin for it[FONT=Comic Sans MS][sIZE=2][COLOR=#ff00ff][/COLOR][/sIZE][/FONT]

[gfto]

wow, that was a long post!

[neiu]

i skimmed through your post, unfortunately i'm not one to read it all. It's all the same to me with breakups. Anyway to me from what i got out of it, she dumped you for some guy. That didn't work out so she comes back to you. You're naturally seeing someone else but now you're caught in the middle of two of them now. You pick the crazy ex cause you're a wuss who falls for her words and not for her actions to rebuild your trust and love for her. She owes you money, things are crappy so what do you do? I have a feeling you're never going to see that money. She probably knows that you want it and uses it against you to keep you around. Principle or not, she doesn't have any anyway so forget about it. You're angry at her and you want to stop talking to her but those words are getting to you again. Buddy, block, delete everything and get on with life. Stop wasting your time on such nonsense from this psycho chick. If you don't end it now, it'll never stop and it'll just drain the hell out of you. And this i pay for everything stuff for all girls, please stop. They make money too, don't treat them like they're a kid or something. And if they only liked you cause you paid for everything, how superficial of a relationship is that. Be a man, get your balls back and cut this girl out of your life and don't look back.

[WhiteKnight]

Wow I have to say that this is one kind of a scenario that I did not expect to see Anto0o.

 

Alright for some advice, I will go with this. This is from one of my experiences from my second ex-girlfriend. First you have to ask yourself with some of these questions.

 

"Do you want to be friends with her?"

 

"Do you want the friendship to work out, despite all the problems that you two had in the past?"

 

"Do you want to move on away from her and start anew?"

 

"Do you believe that you two could be friends despite of the natural jealousy, arguments and disagreements that any person can have?"

 

"Is your ex-partner a jealous type? And would she ruin your relationships?"

 

"Do you think is it possible to be friends with her after getting married and talking to her, say about after like a few years?"

 

If some of these answers come up as 'yes' in your heart, it means that you still care about the person and want to love in a friendship manner. But you know your own limitations. However in some of the cases if they said 'yes', you need to consider what are the positive and negative effects it could happen to you. Then you ask yourself 'what if'...

 

However, my best advice for now with this sort of thing. You could just say to her that... "Alright if you want a friendship with me, that's fine but it will be for some time before things could work out between us."

 

Then you could end it by walking away from this ex-partner completely, don't look back on it for awhile (weeks, months, years) and understand that you wish to stay away from this pain until you are ready to be friends with her or not.

 

In experience that I have, I dated 7 girls so far. 3 of them involved with them leaving me behind because of the 'trust' barrier I had. 1 had cheated on her husband and I didn't know about until it was revealed. The rest were natural breakups that things didn't work out between us.

 

Out of the whole lot, I managed to stay friends with 4 of them. Its hard to stay as friends with your ex-partner at first but the only thing is though that you have to consider, if you stay friends with you ex, it could lead to endless possibilities of rebuilding great friendships or even it could lead to a possibilty that you could see a relationship forming. But having them returning to your life is based on what you want and how you like it to be. But it depends on the break up though and how severe it was, can by any reason of doubt that would cloud your judgement.

 

I will have to admit, through time... everything will be healed to a point, forgiven and perhaps nearly forgotten. As I said before, it depends on what you want in the end.