thien Posted November 9, 1999 Share Posted November 9, 1999 When my ex and broke up two years ago, my ex started dating my sister a week later...she was interested. I was hurt of the broken relationship, and much more because of my sister's betrayal. i was looking for support...I am not blaming my sister about stealing my boyfriend, that issue is irrelevant. The issue is him dating another member of my family. Unfortunately, both of them felt right to continue...they broke up for a while and now are back. I can't bear to see him at my parents' home, and my parents are against this also. they weren't at first, they thought i was upset about the relationship. But you get over love eventually, but you don't get over the fact that your siblings share her life with your ex. Our relationship was serious. I met his parents. WE talked about marriage. Of course he must have told her something different. Still, it should be irrelevant. I lived with him. Slept with him... The fact that he had shown no respect for anyone. I feel embarrased for having known him. But now i can't seem to function, because it is causing me pain. Is it right to have your ex sitting across the table at Thanksgiving with your sister, when few years before he was sitting by your side? There is something wrong with this picture... what should i do? especially when my sister refuses to let him go because he is a surgeon... thien Link to post Share on other sites
Saffgee Posted November 9, 1999 Share Posted November 9, 1999 Your sister 'refuses to let him go because he is a surgeon'? I think you'd better evaluate what you're actually jealous of here. By all means, be jealous that she has taken a part (maybe important part) of your life, but if shes only with him because he's a surgeon, there's nothing to be jealous of. Thats not a relationship, its an arrangement. If you truly still love him (which you don't) and her, then you should be happy they are happy (which they're not - if what you say is true). He dated your sister a WEEK after you left him (or he you). You should be happy you're rid of him (so to speak). You should concentrate on helping your sister get real, that sounds like a much more serious problem. Surgeon indeed. What is the world coming to, what happened to LOVE ? LOVE will give you more security, more wealth, and more happiness than some half-wit surgeon ever could. Don't live in 19th century England, we're into a new millenium soon, you are a woman with needs, desires and wants, live it to the full. Security is a hellishly over-rated concept in material terms. As the beatles said, 'All you need is love'. The rest just falls into place. When my ex and broke up two years ago, my ex started dating my sister a week later...she was interested. I was hurt of the broken relationship, and much more because of my sister's betrayal. i was looking for support...I am not blaming my sister about stealing my boyfriend, that issue is irrelevant. The issue is him dating another member of my family. Unfortunately, both of them felt right to continue...they broke up for a while and now are back. I can't bear to see him at my parents' home, and my parents are against this also. they weren't at first, they thought i was upset about the relationship. But you get over love eventually, but you don't get over the fact that your siblings share her life with your ex. Our relationship was serious. I met his parents. WE talked about marriage. Of course he must have told her something different. Still, it should be irrelevant. I lived with him. Slept with him... The fact that he had shown no respect for anyone. I feel embarrased for having known him. But now i can't seem to function, because it is causing me pain. Is it right to have your ex sitting across the table at Thanksgiving with your sister, when few years before he was sitting by your side? There is something wrong with this picture... what should i do? especially when my sister refuses to let him go because he is a surgeon... thien Link to post Share on other sites
Richie Posted November 10, 1999 Share Posted November 10, 1999 You don't have boy friend? Sit beside him for the Thanksgiving. When she and him are not worried or embarrassed, why should you? Are you going to put a long face during the thanksgiving and thereby letting them to get happiness by seeing your long face? Or you are going to enjoy the dinner with jokes and teasings with your boy friend or female friend? There is nothing to feel embarrassed. Have you ever seen dogs' sex relationships? They don't see the family relationships like him. Happy Thanksgiving, Richie Link to post Share on other sites
Jamie Posted November 10, 1999 Share Posted November 10, 1999 Hi, I know it's hard to get over a person you once loved, but I think you should try to be happy for your sister and your ex. Sometimes things like that happen. Maybe your ex finds your sister as his soulmate [vice versa]. All you can do is to hope for the best for them... Hope that helps. You don't have boy friend? Sit beside him for the Thanksgiving. When she and him are not worried or embarrassed, why should you? Are you going to put a long face during the thanksgiving and thereby letting them to get happiness by seeing your long face? Or you are going to enjoy the dinner with jokes and teasings with your boy friend or female friend? There is nothing to feel embarrassed. Have you ever seen dogs' sex relationships? They don't see the family relationships like him. Happy Thanksgiving, Richie Link to post Share on other sites
destiny Posted November 11, 1999 Share Posted November 11, 1999 This must be so hard for you. I would not even talk to my sister if she did something like that. How long were you dating the guy? If I were you I would make other plans for thanksgiving. Spend it with a friends family, or at a homeless shelter passing out food. I know my advise doesn't agree with the other people on the board, but I feel I have a different insight. I have a sister and we are very close in age. Sure there have been times when we have been attracted to the same guy but there is a line that you have to draw when you care about someone. There are plenty of fish in the sea and there is something wrong with someone who would go out with thier sister's boyfriend (especially only a week after the break up). Yeah, obviously the guys a complete jerk-off too, but you should really question the relationship you have with your sister. Were you very close growing up? Is she resentful towards you about something? Do your parents know how upset you are by this situation? In any case, I would tell you to stay away from your sis and your ex until you can deal with the situation gracefully. It's ok to be upset about it. It's an awful thing to have to deal with. You have to deal with it on your own terms. Don't let your family guilt you into spending thanksgiving stressed out and miserable. Think about what the holiday is really about and celebrate it your own way. Good Luck When my ex and broke up two years ago, my ex started dating my sister a week later...she was interested. I was hurt of the broken relationship, and much more because of my sister's betrayal. i was looking for support...I am not blaming my sister about stealing my boyfriend, that issue is irrelevant. The issue is him dating another member of my family. Unfortunately, both of them felt right to continue...they broke up for a while and now are back. I can't bear to see him at my parents' home, and my parents are against this also. they weren't at first, they thought i was upset about the relationship. But you get over love eventually, but you don't get over the fact that your siblings share her life with your ex. Our relationship was serious. I met his parents. WE talked about marriage. Of course he must have told her something different. Still, it should be irrelevant. I lived with him. Slept with him... The fact that he had shown no respect for anyone. I feel embarrased for having known him. But now i can't seem to function, because it is causing me pain. Is it right to have your ex sitting across the table at Thanksgiving with your sister, when few years before he was sitting by your side? There is something wrong with this picture... what should i do? especially when my sister refuses to let him go because he is a surgeon... thien Link to post Share on other sites
Guy Posted November 11, 1999 Share Posted November 11, 1999 I have to agree with Destiny on this one. So many people will fall for someone without really considering the consequenses. It's true that we can't always control who we fall in love with but we can control how we deal with it. Sometimes the head has to be stronger than the heart and we have to restrain ourselves like the men and women we are. What your sister did sound more immature to me. Either she wanted to hurt you or prove something to herself or just couldn't control herself when it came to this guy. Whatever the case she crossed the line. At the absolute minimum she should have given the two of you some time apart before jumping in and in my opinion she probably shouldn't have pursued him at all. Either she was trying to hurt you or she was being selfish. So I'd do like Destiny said and do Thanksgiving elsewhere. Use it as kind of a silent protest. Hopefully those involved will realize just how inappropriate their behavior is. When my ex and broke up two years ago, my ex started dating my sister a week later...she was interested. I was hurt of the broken relationship, and much more because of my sister's betrayal. i was looking for support...I am not blaming my sister about stealing my boyfriend, that issue is irrelevant. The issue is him dating another member of my family. Unfortunately, both of them felt right to continue...they broke up for a while and now are back. I can't bear to see him at my parents' home, and my parents are against this also. they weren't at first, they thought i was upset about the relationship. But you get over love eventually, but you don't get over the fact that your siblings share her life with your ex. Our relationship was serious. I met his parents. WE talked about marriage. Of course he must have told her something different. Still, it should be irrelevant. I lived with him. Slept with him... The fact that he had shown no respect for anyone. I feel embarrased for having known him. But now i can't seem to function, because it is causing me pain. Is it right to have your ex sitting across the table at Thanksgiving with your sister, when few years before he was sitting by your side? There is something wrong with this picture... what should i do? especially when my sister refuses to let him go because he is a surgeon... thien Link to post Share on other sites
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