Not enough sex

[Guest]

OK guys this ones for you. Have been married 23 years, hes 43 I'm 49. Last year bout Oct our sex live started going down hill we use to have sex 3-4 times a week. Now I'm lucky to get 3-4 times a month. We both enjoy oral but after having a hysterectomy 3 yrs ago that pretty much ended for me. I have ask about it he said he didn't know he was obligated to. I still provided oral for him.

 

The thing is our kids are grown now and I have a lot more time for him but the sex is not there. We both work 50-60 hours a week he says he is tired. He is a little over weight (5'9" bout 260 lbs). The weight doesn't bother me I tell him I think he is sexy all the time (an mean it) I call him my sexy hunk. I am getting very frustrated and don't know what to do please help.

[CynicalP]

Having turn 40 myself I definately can tell my sex drive is no longer what it used to be. I have no experience with viagra or the other stuff that is constantly marketed, but perhaps that is what your husband might need to rekindle his drive. Also a little exercise or phyisical activity does wonders to the ol energy levels. If he has no energy then try to take him on some brisk walks. You can work on your communication during the little jaunts. Also if your kids are grown why the hell are you both working so hard? Have you done no retirement planning?

 

It's usually the man who complains about the lack for sex from their wife ( I am in that category and I would be very happy with the 3 - 4 times a month ). It truely sucks being in a relationship where one partner wants to be active and the other wants nothing to do with it. I can relate to your dilemma.

[Tony T]

OK guys this ones for you. Have been married 23 years, hes 43 I'm 49. Last year bout Oct our sex live started going down hill we use to have sex 3-4 times a week. Now I'm lucky to get 3-4 times a month. We both enjoy oral but after having a hysterectomy 3 yrs ago that pretty much ended for me. I have ask about it he said he didn't know he was obligated to. I still provided oral for him.

 

The thing is our kids are grown now and I have a lot more time for him but the sex is not there. We both work 50-60 hours a week he says he is tired. He is a little over weight (5'9" bout 260 lbs). The weight doesn't bother me I tell him I think he is sexy all the time (an mean it) I call him my sexy hunk. I am getting very frustrated and don't know what to do please help.

 

If you had sex three or four times a week for 23 years I'd say you've done damn good!!!

 

After that amount of time, you may need a sex therapist to give you new methods of stimulation. Your hubby may also need a medical exam to see if there are physical or hormonal problems that are keeping him from being duly stimulated and desirous of sex.

[Mr. Lucky]

Last year bout Oct our sex live started going down hill we use to have sex 3-4 times a week. Now I'm lucky to get 3-4 times a month.

Any seminal events that occurred on or around that time period? Death of a parent? Last kids move out? Illness?

We both enjoy oral but after having a hysterectomy 3 yrs ago that pretty much ended for me.

I'm puzzled as to the link between your hysterectomy and oral sex. What do you think is the connection?

 

Mr. Lucky

[rohan]

I am surprised, normally its the other way, guys complaining. I think the first step is to have a frank discussion with your husband. Find out what is bothering him. In case of women, its just that once one has had kids, one feels the need for sex is over. Women then need other forms of affection like cuddling. Like this blog illustrates. But guess in your case you need to find a day in the week when you both have an off from your hectic schedule and fix a time for a cozy time together which ends at... All the best

[lookingforalovethats]

if i remember things right at the beginning we were equal in wanting and doing , don't u? u hasd afternoon's, summer breeze,

 

ok that's enudff fer in here

 

then if u remember things slowed down

 

when captain cocaine road into town

 

take out a sheet , writes something down and hands it to u

 

see that number 100?

 

that my IOU from why back then

 

u can cash it any time - wink

 

as for performance, duration and all the rest

 

i rather talk about that when we're undressed

 

to sum it up i remember for me and u

 

there wasn't much need talk about this in a post

 

because it was always something private and natural

 

so thats';enuff of that from me

 

you'l;l start thinking that's all i want

 

what i would like it get to know u all over again

 

and leave the rest up to fate and destiny

[Guest]

If you had sex three or four times a week for 23 years I'd say you've done damn good!!!

 

After that amount of time, you may need a sex therapist to give you new methods of stimulation. Your hubby may also need a medical exam to see if there are physical or hormonal problems that are keeping him from being duly stimulated and desirous of sex.

 

I have alway tried to keep things interesting I'm more open than he is. So I'm always willing to try new things/places.

[norajane]

Maybe he has started having physical problems (trouble getting an erection, trouble sustaining an erection, trouble having an orgasm...), and is too embarrassed to tell you about it. So instead of talking to you, he's just let your sex life slide. He might also be too embarrassed to mention it to his doctor, even though that's the only way to get help.

 

5'9 and 260 is pretty heavy unless he's a body-builder. All that extra weight could be affecting his energy levels, as well as his ability to perform. Maybe he is also self-conscious about his weight.

 

If he has started taking medication for depression or other conditions, that could be having an effect on his sex drive, too.

 

43 is hardly old. He ought to still be wayyy interested in sex!

[WTF]

COUGH! COUGH!halfpillofviagraCOUGH!

[Guest]

Maybe he has started having physical problems (trouble getting an erection, trouble sustaining an erection, trouble having an orgasm...), and is too embarrassed to tell you about it. So instead of talking to you, he's just let your sex life slide. He might also be too embarrassed to mention it to his doctor, even though that's the only way to get help.

 

I have noticed when playing around that sometimes he does have a problem getting an erection and sometimes during oral it will start to get soft.

 

5'9 and 260 is pretty heavy unless he's a body-builder. All that extra weight could be affecting his energy levels, as well as his ability to perform. Maybe he is also self-conscious about his weight

 

 

If he has started taking medication for depression or other conditions, that could be having an effect on his sex drive, too.

 

43 is hardly old. He ought to still be wayyy interested in sex!

 

Hes not a body builder but he is solid not a juggly fat I guess thats why it doesn't bother me. I think he is sexy n tell him that all the time. He takes no medication so thats not the problem. I was just wondering when men start to slow down I think he is still kind of young for that but just like women I'm sure some start earlier than others.