my hairy butt crack-cocaine

[silentalways]

In my addiction program tonite we discussed many things - there were 12 in the class tonite and the prof is really good - i enjoyede and learned alot tonite. its funny because many of the 'words' we were asked to associate a meaning too in regards our stated problem [people always give an exuse as the problem - like thinking the problem is something like "i just can't get over why she just disappear and hates me so much"

the problem is the drug and the refusal to GIVE THAT TASK the same amount of time and determination as an addict does doing the drug.

 

we all had to come up with a list of what we have lost because of using cocaine - some said FREEDOM, others said MONEY, some said HEALTH. what i used to say to that question was: I LOST THE LOVE OF MY LIFE AND A GREAT RELATIONSHIP - now I say I LOST THE ABILITY TO NOT LET DRUGS RUIN MY LIFE - this shifts the focus away from remorse to ownership of the task at hand - not something that ended a year ago - so, keeping the focus there enables u to feel sad, relapse,. repeat until death

 

Doesn't sound like much fun to me

 

how we view a relapse

 

what isolating does and how our home must never ever be a place where drugs are allowed in - its supposed to be a safe place not a crack house

 

 

 

one being, when a person uses cocaine

Definition: Of or relating to a relationship in which one person is psychologically dependent in an unhealthy way on someone who is addicted to a drug or self-destructive behavior, such as chronic gambling.

 

You may be asking, what in the world does that mean? Well it's not all that simple to answer, but this page will hopefully offer information and help for the problem of codependence.

Basically, when a person is struggling with an addiction, whether it be alcohol, gambling, pornography or anything, they tend to loose the ability to function as a normal person. Sometimes they loose sleep and become tired, they make themselves sick, they have financial troubles, problems in their careers or many many other things that can result from an addiction. What this means is that they are unable to perform the necessary functions of living in this world.

When someone loves an addict, one of the first reactions to seeing this disintegration of their character, their abilities etc. is to help them. While helping someone is certainly a thoughtful, loving and caring gesture, sometimes it can go too far. Co-dependency is materialized when a person does things for an addict such as:

• [sIZE=1]List adapted from

http://www.co-anan.org[/sIZE]
Paying their bills, making car payments, covering bounced checks, paying bail, paying traffic tickets;
Making excuses for their behavior, changing appointments, calling employers on absenteeism, writing late or absentee excuses to schools, covering up for missed family functions;
Providing the addict with money, clothing, housing and food;
Caring for the addict's family by allowing them to live with us, taking their children to school, babysitting, etc.

This help, while usually from the best of intentions, ENABLES the addict to continue with their addiction without serious consequences such as loosing their car, ruining their reputation or destroying their relationships.

 

It is very difficult to recognize codependency in oneself, because there is a general sense that the things you do for your loved one are your duty, or that you do things out of love and respect (you don't want to see harm come to the addict). It gives you a sense of power over the situation, and give you the sense that you are being a good person. However, these enabling behaviors actually make it worse, in the long run, for the addict.

When in a co-dependent situation the addict is allowed to stay in denial about their problem because everything is functioning just fine. They are not faced with tough consequences for their actions and in fact, allows the addiction to grow, and grow to astronomical proportions. For the partner, codependency often involves a loss of self-respect, self-esteem, and self-care. The partner looses themselves in addict, often ignoring their own needs and wants to make sure that the addict is ok. How do you get out of the cycle of co-dependence? That is the million dollar questions. The best results come when the codependent partner consciously makes an effort to stop doing the things for the addict that a normal person without an addiction should be able to do for themselves. This can be difficult, it can lead to feelings that you have failed the addict, that you are being cruel or unhelpful, that everything will fall apart without your intervention. Fact is, this will force the addict to take a closer look at themselves, face their addiction, and ultimately and hopefully seek help. There is nothing better you can do for your addicted loved one then to stop living for them.