jealousy problem?

[Guest]

hey everyone. I believe i have a serious jealousy problem. my girldfriend and i have been dating for almost a year now and our main problem is her and her guy friends. another problem is her and her pot problem. about 80% of her friends are guys. that all smoke pot. I work 7-4 during the day while she works 11-7 at night. and it all starts when i goto work.

 

i goto work thinking about what shes doing. since she gets a ride home from some guy name scott whos 28 and shes 17 and they goto her house and smoke a join together, then he suposively leaves and she goes to bed. and thats if she goes to bed if she doesnt she'll usually call somone up to smoke joints with and then she'll pass out around noon and sleep till about 7 when i get off from work all i want to do is be with her but she'll usually be sleeping and i'll wait till she wakes up then we'll hang out and ill drive her to work at 11. and the whole rutine starts all over again. shes always hanging out with guys. its almost like having multiple relationships in a sense witout sex, so i hope. shes getting to know all these guys and what there all about while shes dating me.

 

it just doesnt make sense its like shes still searching for the "somone" i try to talk to her about it but shes just gets mad and tells me im jealous and to get over it and thats the way she is.. it was great at the begining but know it just seems to be going downhill and fights are getting worse. I just want her to be with me. I shouldbe the only guy in her life, she can have as many girlfriends as she wants, i dont care. its the guys that piss me off. any advice or anything would be gratefull. thanks. ask me question also

[Annyka]

I shouldbe the only guy in her life, she can have as many girlfriends as she wants, i dont care. its the guys that piss me off.

 

It was this comment that stood out for me. I have (maybe that should be had) a lot of male friends. I relate better to guys than girls. They seem to understand me better. I like to spend time with them. I don't want to sleep with them. Yet, my husband, is as you are - jealous of my male friends, he has made similar comments to the one above. Slowly, over the 10 years we've been together, he has made me get rid of all my male friends, and you know what - I resent him for it. I hate it, and now I don't have any healthy friendships.

I have a couple of girlfriends, who I don't really get along with (bar my best friend from school) - they are more trophy friends than anything.

 

Now I don't know how to react around guys. I met a guy a couple of months back and it started off as a friendship, but I've forgotten how to be just friends with guys and got attracted to him, and now I can't even be friends with him, for fear of sleeping with him.

 

I HATE IT. I HATE IT. I HATE IT.

 

If you are going to stop your girlfriend from having male friends, I'll guarentee she'll feel the same way in time.

 

The pot, however, does worry me, as I know that it can make you do irrational things. But when I was 18, I used to hang out with a bunch of guys and smoke with them, and I NEVER slept with any of them... I think you need to talk to her about how you are feeling and find a way to spend more time together.