Cinnesyn Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 I just got confirmation from using a keylogger that my fiance of two years sent emails, used his webcam and has been calling some woman he met while playing Pogo. In my mind, it's over between us. He has always said I need to trust him but I consider what he's done to be a big breach of trust. Am I overreacting? Is it normal for opposite sex "friends" to email each other, use their webcams and call each other? True, I have no idea what was said or done during these things but ... it just sits very wrong with me. Opinions? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 I had the same problem. I knew my boyfriend of a year was talking to girls online. I did not say anything at first because they were nothing more than friendly chats. Then it escalated to pictures beig sent back and forth, and they were not for they faint hearted! Finally the swapping of phone numbers and text sending, again they were inappropriate, made me reach my limit. I should have stopped it before it escalated, and thats what you need to do. Playing a game online doesnt mean it is nessesary to look at each other via web cam, or call. If you feel its inappropriate then it is. Link to post Share on other sites
InspectHerGadget Posted December 12, 2006 Share Posted December 12, 2006 It’s not acceptable to do that and keep to hidden. You are only going to think the worse when you find out. Sounds like he’s cheating with a girl online to me, but maybe he really just talks to her… Better confront him. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnesyn Posted December 13, 2006 Author Share Posted December 13, 2006 I confronted him. He swears that it happened last year and hasn't happened since. We've had a few fights over his inability to make MALE friends online and once I pointed out my feelings concerning having only FEMALE friends online, he says he stopped. I have only been watching his activity online since August, when he closed a chatroom window when I walked over to his computer. Since August, everything has been very innocent. After a long discussion (and my spending a night away from home in a motel), he ended up finally telling me the truth and how it all escalated into something he didn't want but didn't know how to get out of. He did eventually tell this woman he wasn't interested in what was happening between them, at least that's what he tells me. I was all set to kick him out of my house and move on with my life but now I'm wavering. I really love him. I want to believe what he's told me. But it would devastate me if he ended up leaving me for another woman. I'd rather take the pain now and cut my losses than continue on with a man I'm not sure will do it again. He says he made ONE mistake and realized it and stopped. That appears to be the truth. So I guess I just have to get over this and go on. I don't think their discussions, web cam sessions or emails were anything more than flirty. I will never know for sure. He says they were just talking but his credibility is seriously low at the moment. I really had to drag the truth about it from him . He lied about having the additional contact with this woman up until I told him SHE told me about it. (ok, so I bent the truth, lol). Should I whine some more? I just had an abnormal mammogram, my son wants to quit college, and I have my last final for cost accounting tonight that I didn't study for and could blow my graduation this weekend. And then this crap with the fiance. Great timing... I'm lucky I got out of bed this morning. Link to post Share on other sites
InspectHerGadget Posted December 13, 2006 Share Posted December 13, 2006 I would make him stop any chatting on the internet, why does he even need to anyways? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Cinnesyn Posted December 14, 2006 Author Share Posted December 14, 2006 No kidding... He VOLUNTEERED to cancel his pogo membership. I think pogo is fine as long as he doesn't add women to his friends list but he's taking it the extra mile. I say it's not necessary but to me it proves he's truly sorry that he's willing to give up something he enjoys. I just hope he doesn't turn it around and think I made him do it. He also sent flowers and cried on the phone while trying to explain that he truly considered it just friendship (and ONLY friendship). He says men and women look at things differently and when I explained to him how I saw the situation, he realized how it looked to me and that it would never happen again. This isn't the first time we've fought over a female online friend. It's #2. Three strikes and he is OUT. (And he was told that ...) So, after getting myself all worked up to kick him out, I'm going to let him stay. I'm also going to continue monitoring his online activity. I hope I never have to post here again. Link to post Share on other sites
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