NC Purpose - open question

[bonehead]

I am starting to date other woman now so it is her lost. Does not matter who cooked up those stories. They deserve each other misery and not the happyness I can bring to her.

 

With what she pulled saying some woman was calling her I totally agree with ya.

 

Kind of funny though how she gets the calls after how many days NC? Why wasnt she getting the calls while you were seeing her?

 

I smell a bowl of CO CO PUFFS

[oyster]

A click is a powerful sound........

 

I would find everything that she might have left behind, pack it up and find someone who can drop it iff to her.

 

tomorrow I am meeting a friend who knows us both, giving him her stuff.

 

he is her girlfriend's boyfriend. he told me "what a non sense joke", "plain silly"

 

I think this 31 days of NC will turn out to be longer.

 

my new rule to myself is:

 

I won't tolerate non sense accusations

I won't tolerate last minute meeting

I won't work my schedule around her

I won't defend my innocence

I will continue to answer my phone if I am available. (I hate screening calls, I just pick up)

 

If she decides to do something about her misery, she has to come with signed paper. Which I will have it verified and validated. Then I will consider starting again with her.

[oyster]

With what she pulled saying some woman was calling her I totally agree with ya.

 

Kind of funny though how she gets the calls after how many days NC? Why wasnt she getting the calls while you were seeing her?

 

I smell a bowl of CO CO PUFFS

 

12 days of NC.

 

ya co co puff or psychology technique to make people talk. (i.e: make outrageous comment and see the other person reaction)

 

I should had kick up the co co puff game a notch with comments like:

 

Good that my wife called you, the authorities have been looking for her and my kids. She kidnapped them a few years ago, wouldn't you know where she is by any chance?

 

or

 

Really, what does my wife look like? I would had gotten laid more often.

 

but hey, I am not demented nor crazy.

[bonehead]

tomorrow I am meeting a friend who knows us both, giving him her stuff.

 

he is her girlfriend's boyfriend. he told me "what a non sense joke", "plain silly"

 

I think this 31 days of NC will turn out to be longer.

 

my new rule to myself is:

 

I won't tolerate non sense accusations

I won't tolerate last minute meeting

I won't work my schedule around her

I won't defend my innocence

I will continue to answer my phone if I am available. (I hate screening calls, I just pick up)

 

If she decides to do something about her misery, she has to come with signed paper. Which I will have it verified and validated. Then I will consider starting again with her.

 

And a DAMN good explination about the " Your wife called " issue.

[BenThereDunThat]

tomorrow I am meeting a friend who knows us both, giving him her stuff.

 

he is her girlfriend's boyfriend. he told me "what a non sense joke", "plain silly"

 

I think this 31 days of NC will turn out to be longer.

 

my new rule to myself is:

 

I won't tolerate non sense accusations

I won't tolerate last minute meeting

I won't work my schedule around her

I won't defend my innocence

I will continue to answer my phone if I am available. (I hate screening calls, I just pick up)

 

If she decides to do something about her misery, she has to come with signed paper. Which I will have it verified and validated. Then I will consider starting again with her.

 

Love your new rules! Although after the "french wife" bit, I'd reconsider even starting with her again with a signed paper. That's creepy behavior. SHE initiated the NC, SHE made up excuses to call you, then SHE pulls that?

 

She sounds like an energy vampire - at the very least.

[frannie]

Love your new rules! Although after the "french wife" bit, I'd reconsider even starting with her again with a signed paper. That's creepy behavior. SHE initiated the NC, SHE made up excuses to call you, then SHE pulls that?

 

I agree. Sounds too nutty... how can you have a relationship with someone like that..?

[BenThereDunThat]

I agree. Sounds too nutty... how can you have a relationship with someone like that..?

 

Exactly.

 

Sorry, Oyster, I'm not trying to be disrespectful. But if this is how she treats you while she's the one who is married, how needy and manipulative will she act when/if she's on her own and feeling even more vulnerable?

[oyster]

And a DAMN good explination about the " Your wife called " issue.

 

the french wife with kids was the cherry on the sunday.

 

Before the NC, I had to prove to her wrong that:

1-I did rob my ex-girlfriend

2-I did not date super rich mama

3-I never took a pennie from ex-girlfriend

4-I don't have a girlfriend that works the night shift and who I can see during the day.

 

Enough is enough, CLICK CLICK.

 

Husband is crazy and she is crazier to believe shiat like these.

[oyster]

Exactly.

 

Sorry, Oyster, I'm not trying to be disrespectful. But if this is how she treats you while she's the one who is married, how needy and manipulative will she act when/if she's on her own and feeling even more vulnerable?

 

No worries, I am not offended, all opinions welcome.

 

I will deal with that when it comes, I manage people for a living:rolleyes:

[oyster]

the french wife with kids was the cherry on the sunday.

 

Before the NC, I had to prove to her wrong that:

1-I did rob my ex-girlfriend

2-I did not date super rich mama

3-I never took a pennie from ex-girlfriend

4-I don't have a girlfriend that works the night shift and who I can see during the day.

 

Enough is enough, CLICK CLICK.

 

Husband is crazy and she is crazier to believe shiat like these.

 

just to add clarification

 

Husband is crazy and she is crazier to believe shiat like these.

 

Because I am 32, own house, drive fancy car, travel international, sports, and I go out every night. So somehow either she is probing where the money is coming from or husband is jealous.

[oyster]

Love your new rules! Although after the "french wife" bit, I'd reconsider even starting with her again with a signed paper. That's creepy behavior. SHE initiated the NC, SHE made up excuses to call you, then SHE pulls that?

 

She sounds like an energy vampire - at the very least.

 

I have mastered art of deflecting negative energy and energy vampire.

 

My drinking buddys says "Fatal Attraction":bunny:

[oyster]

I agree. Sounds too nutty... how can you have a relationship with someone like that..?

because when we were not discovered, perfect match.

 

ever since husband discovered my existence, well hell broke loose.

[frannie]

because when we were not discovered, perfect match.

 

ever since husband discovered my existence, well hell broke loose.

 

As you say, it might be that he's putting all sorts of ideas in her head. And if you've been with someone like that, it can get difficult to think straight. Hard to know who is what in those situations.

 

Even so, until she's free of him, you won't really know how she is in herself... very difficult situation and doesn't look good. Sorry I said 'nutty'... was insensitive of me.

[oyster]

As you say, it might be that he's putting all sorts of ideas in her head. And if you've been with someone like that, it can get difficult to think straight. Hard to know who is what in those situations.

 

Even so, until she's free of him, you won't really know how she is in herself... very difficult situation and doesn't look good. Sorry I said 'nutty'... was insensitive of me.

 

no worries about being insensitive, I think it is nutties too.

 

you are 100% right about ''Hard to know who is what in those situations.''

 

I think I did the best to dissappear so they can sort their things out.

 

As a man, I think he is the deepest insecure person out there. Rather than focusing on them, he focus on me. I am so flattered

[pureinheart]

Just wanted to let off steam, so am hiding in this thread, it's sord of on the same lines.....

 

I broke the NC after calling my cell provider to block the continuous calls from MM...I can't....don't want to change the number, he has already messed my life up enouph.

 

After months of continuous calls tonight was the last straw, I want to be free of his whatever it is. Along with the calls, he wrote an email stating that he needed my help .....I wrote back telling him he is married and needs to get help from his wife and that most people think he is a stalker and to leave me alone.

 

He wrote back freaked out about the stalker thing and told me that if I talked to him one more time he would leave me alone....

 

That pissed me off, still trying to call the shots....so here is the email I sent back, I took his email and answered it accordingly....

 

MM-"talk to me one more time on the phone tomorrow and ill stop talking to you for ever ok"

 

NO ....you don't call the shots

 

MM-"you know I'm not a stalker"

 

you are acting like a stalker, the 30+ phone calls per day, I am tired of it and want it to STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

MM-"why are you telling people about me i have not talked to no one about our problem"

 

there is no "our" here....and of course not, it's all about secrets to you...Can you say SERIAL CHEATER. (stole that from you Bonehead...liked that!)

I am working out my life....my life....so you have no need to worry, I stand to loose as much as you. All I want is to be left alone, and I am soooo serious about my recovery and healing that I am prepared to do what it takes if need be.

Please understand that I am serious about NO CONTACT whatsoever, if you contact me I will see this as complete disrespect of my wishes....and will act accordingly. end.

 

The 3 = months of NC worked, it was enouph time for me to see the truth....this guy is not capable of love. The last couple of weeks I felt like I was running from not taking a stand...this is the stand I needed and will go to the authorities if he doesn't leave me alone....

 

Being the type of person that wants to make sure the other person has all the facts before acting...I gave him the facts, and feel good about that, and will not feel bad at all if I have to go to the cops.....

[GreenEyedLady]

Can you tell his wife? Or at least threaten to?

[pureinheart]

Can you tell his wife? Or at least threaten to?

 

Hey GEL,

 

Have threatened to tell his wife when trying to get rid of him before, and didn't follow through, so he might not believe me.

 

Honestly, I am not afraid of her physically, like if she were to get in my face, although she is really not right in the head, the whole family is twisted.

 

One time I was talking to MM on messenger, he left it on and went to the store, he said BRB, so I waited....in the meantime his youngest daughter (18) got on and pretended to be him....I'm telling you GEL, no class whatsoever...I made a copy of the conversation and gave it to him, it was gross.....now most kids would tell mom, right, no these kids bribe him.

 

They are all very strange so that makes me leary....

[bonehead]

Ok, so WHO does show this guy any respect? Not that he deserves it, but his KIDS blackmail him???????

[GreenEyedLady]

That is strange and creepy...

[pureinheart]

Ok, so WHO does show this guy any respect? Not that he deserves it, but his KIDS blackmail him???????

 

His kids are horrible, his oldest son (27) gets drunk and acts like a fool and calls the cops on him at his house...he owns the houses on either side of him and has his 2 middle daughters living there, one of them moves in an abusive bf who abuses the grandkids, and the daughter moves into the other house and leaves the bf there for her dad to deal with.....the bf even called Social Services on him.

 

The W and kids all side against him....follow him and monitor everything, there seems to be constant kaos.

 

GEL they are all creepy....

 

When first meeting him at work, he seemed cool, he came in from another division, so hadn't been around him like all of the rest. He got on everyones last nerve, but was really smart concerning the job....I mean I wrote up over 10 process improvements in a years time and 8 of them were his....this is unheard of especially in our area, where processes had been critiqued time and time again.

 

The people in our area for the most part liked him and told me his family was a mess....I was messed up myself and did not see how bad it really was....and then when reality started to come in, I didn't want to believe it...also it's like we had to "stick together" due to all of the gossip...so instead of working on the truth of this whole mess, I spent most of the time covering my own back...

[oyster]

nice honest letter to him. you have to make the other party realize what they are doing.

 

Go NC for sure. If you can afford a holiday, go for it.

[oyster]

wow time flys, practicing yoga has help me keep my mind clear, get some energy back, lose weight.

 

So far I have been good of not initiating contact with her. I did call her back to leave a voice mail because she tried reaching me so many times.

 

Hopefully I won't hear from her this week and next week (week#4)

 

Then Week #5 is either going to be

NC into Farewell

NC into her leaving her husband

NC into back to the Affair (probably what she wants but not me)

[oyster]

so 1 week ago, the MW called me to talk non senses, accusing of lying about having a wife and 2 kids. Some lady called her to proclaim being my wife and asked to leave us and the kids alone.

 

I told her I am not talking non sense and had to hang up on her. Click.

 

Yesterday I sent her short sms, "for all those allegations, show me proof, you won't find any because your husband fabricated them and paid a woman to call you, because he is too weak to leave"

 

any suggestion on how to defuse the husband psycho brainwashing game?

[Can'tGiveUp]

I don't know oyster...my gut says do nothing. You've told her what he is doing. I think either she has faith in you or maybe you don't need someone who believes the crap he's saying.

 

I'd stay with NC until the agreed date.

[oyster]

I don't know oyster...my gut says do nothing. You've told her what he is doing. I think either she has faith in you or maybe you don't need someone who believes the crap he's saying.

 

I'd stay with NC until the agreed date.

 

ya, it was really hard holding on sending that sms but it was short, to the point. Because I violated the NC one time but she did it before.

 

I won't initiate any calls but you are right.