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Gifts? Do I or Dont I

yousaveme

By yousaveme,
in The Other Man / Woman

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bonehead

bonehead

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YSM,

 

I didnt post to this yesterday because I was at work and I knew it would be long. But now I dont have to I see.

 

All I will say is that the best of intentions will be seen wrong by a person threatened, and to avoid that a lie would have to be told.

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bonehead

bonehead

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I know this has nothing to do with the thread...Did you ever re-gift to the same person or someone close to them , by accident...

 

 

Nope, buy for myself, avoid the issue.

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I want to make one thing clear. I DIDNT BUY GIFTS FOR HIS CHILDREN TO TAKE ANY PLACE AWAY FROM THE MOTHER. I did buy them gifts because I WANTED to. He didnt ask me to get them anything. I did it on my own. And with only GOOD INTENTIONS.

 

Is your relationship with their Father well-intended too? I suppose I could buy (no pun intended) the well-intentioned argument if the gift-giving is a natural out growth of a well-intended relationship.

 

Other than that, the thought of receiving a gift from my Father's 'girlfriend' feels creepy. The very idea of it made me throw up a little in my mouth.

 

On the other hand if I were the Wife/Mother, I think I would want to murder the person who did that to my children.

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I honestly tried to read all of these replies before I posted, but I can't.

 

What in god's name are you thinking? Do the children KNOW you? Do you KNOW them? Why do you think they would appreciate getting a gift from the woman who is boffing their father behind their mothers back? All I can say is, WTF?????????

 

If and when they find out about you, or who gave them the gifts, they'll probably burn them or smash them.

 

I think the idea is beyond disgusting, stop using his children to make yourself look generous. You aren't doing his kids any favors, and don't pretend you are because most people can see right through this pathetic and frankly, sickening stunt.

 

Truly, I feel like I'm going to vomit. How incredibly arrogant and self-centered to think of buying gifts for his children. Blech.

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yousaveme

yousaveme

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Im just going to ignore the last two posts. If you knew me at all you would understand that I am NOT that type of person. And by NO means meant anything else but kindness.

 

So your entitled to your Opinion., Im entitled to just ignore your rudeness.

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noforgiveness

noforgiveness

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Yousaveme I don't think you had ill intentions at all. I think you did it out of kindness.

I'm sure you hear a lot about his children from him and feel as though you know them and are apart of their lives. I'm sure he makes you feel that way so you wanted to get them a present.

Unfortunately, he may talk to you about them all the time he does not talk to them about you.:(

Toys for tots is wonderful and I'm sure they don't get enough items for the older age groups.

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Ripples

Ripples

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I think the idea is beyond disgusting, stop using his children to make yourself look generous. You aren't doing his kids any favors, and don't pretend you are because most people can see right through this pathetic and frankly, sickening stunt.

 

Hmm, I have to agree with this. Not sure I would word it in quite that way, however.

 

I do think it smacks of manipulation and I'm afraid as I don't know you I can't know that your intentions are good. The one thing that makes me think it's manipulative is the children don't need your presents to make their Christmas any better. If they were destitute, then that would be entirely different, but they're not. The only impact your gift giving makes is to make you look good in your MM's eyes. Well, hopefully, anyway.

 

Sorry yousaveme, you're going to get opinions that don't agree with your own, I'm afraid.

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yousaveme

yousaveme

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Not looking for everyone to agree with me. I did get the other side's view points. That is what i was looking for, since my intentions were not meant to be viewed as harmful. And those view points helped me make my decision.

 

People can think what they want I know what I meant by getting the gifts.

 

 

 

Hmm, I have to agree with this. Not sure I would word it in quite that way, however.

 

I do think it smacks of manipulation and I'm afraid as I don't know you I can't know that your intentions are good. The one thing that makes me think it's manipulative is the children don't need your presents to make their Christmas any better. If they were destitute, then that would be entirely different, but they're not. The only impact your gift giving makes is to make you look good in your MM's eyes. Well, hopefully, anyway.

 

Sorry yousaveme, you're going to get opinions that don't agree with your own, I'm afraid.

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Art_Critic

Art_Critic

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Three words.

 

Toys For Tots.

 

I know what your intentions were, and dont lose that.

 

For such a bonehead :lmao: this is a great post...I think bonehead captures the essence and gave great advice

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bonehead

bonehead

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For such a bonehead :lmao: this is a great post...I think bonehead captures the essence and gave great advice

 

Someday I will have to tell the story behind BONEHEAD

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puddleofmud

puddleofmud

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I have heard a saying "Standing in the road of good intention justs gets you run over"

I will add an observation and two (2) questions to this thread:

These children are not your family.

1.) Are they perhaps emotional off-shoots of the family you wish to have considering the holidays? Could you be filling an emotional vacuum with the idea of feeling "Closer" to your MM by doing this?

2.) Are you perhaps taking the emotional burden of your MM by reaching out to his children in his place? Are you "thinking" for him?

You are such a darling and sensitive woman that there is no question that you are doing what you feel is a good and unselfish thing.

You have received a great deal of good advice and you are to be admired your posting your concerns.

We all understand the difficulties of being left alone at significant times...

Bless you for being so sweet, as always, but no one wants to see you hurt!

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yousaveme

yousaveme

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Thanks...I made my decision. I considered everything and everyone. Thanks to everyone....

 

 

I have heard a saying "Standing in the road of good intention justs gets you run over"

I will add an observation and two (2) questions to this thread:

These children are not your family.

1.) Are they perhaps emotional off-shoots of the family you wish to have considering the holidays? Could you be filling an emotional vacuum with the idea of feeling "Closer" to your MM by doing this?

2.) Are you perhaps taking the emotional burden of your MM by reaching out to his children in his place? Are you "thinking" for him?

You are such a darling and sensitive woman that there is no question that you are doing what you feel is a good and unselfish thing.

You have received a great deal of good advice and you are to be admired your posting your concerns.

We all understand the difficulties of being left alone at significant times...

Bless you for being so sweet, as always, but no one wants to see you hurt!

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