goodfriendeva Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 is your mother on any meds? not to be mean sorry if that was but im being serious.. maybe you can take her to her dr visit or talk to her dr in advance and give a heads up.. unbelievable though Link to post Share on other sites
goodfriendeva Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 is your mother on any meds? not to be mean sorry if that was but im being serious.. maybe you can take her to her dr visit or talk to her dr in advance and give a heads up.. unbelievable though Link to post Share on other sites
Touche Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Maybe I'm unusual then because I've never, ever HATED my child. Have I been very frustrated with him? Most assuredly. Do I sometimes not like how he acts? Absolutely! But I've never felt an emotion for him than can be even close to being described as hatred. Link to post Share on other sites
InsanityImpaired Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 my SIL has said to me, "I love 'em but I also hate 'em at times." It's not really that one HATES their child, it's more like having fleeting moments when you hate their behaviour and they get on your nerves. I do not think "HATE" is the emotion / cognition your SIL was trying to convey. She chose that word, because you would understand while the correct word is something different ... Link to post Share on other sites
IpAncA Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Well I'm sorry but just becaue she brought you in doesn't mean that she can do whatever it is that she wants too. There are limits that one should follow if their sane that is. So I'm guessing your older now, do you still let her do this to you or are you standing up for yourself? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Woggle Posted December 16, 2006 Author Share Posted December 16, 2006 I am very proud of myself. She pulled this crap 2 nights ago and I am not on here making a bunch of misogynistic posts and I don't want to get revenge on the entire female gender. I don't even hate her that much. I am just astounded at how a person can be so warped in their thinking. Maybe I am finally starting to heal. Link to post Share on other sites
sb129 Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 If I grew up with a nice family in a nice community I would not be as strong as I am today. I would be some naive guy in his 20s who still hadn't grown up and crumbled under the smallest thing. Everyday I had to fight to survive growing up and it toughened me up. It made me a man early on and prepared to deal with the real world. I know so many people who get stressed over the smallest things but life right now is a piece of cake to me. What can life throw at me that it hasn't already? Woggle I am really sorry to hear about your Mum, she really does sound a bit unhinged and it must be S*** to deal with. Just to let you know, people who grow up in "nice" families and in "nice" communities can grow up strong! Does the perfect family exist?? I don't think it does, there is a wide spectrum of various problems that families can have- most families goes thru something at one time or another, how they deal with it can be just as varied. The support of a strong "nice" family is a blessing however, and I am sorry you don't have that. Well maybe you do- in the form of LS?? I hope you are starting to heal- recognising that your mums behaviour is not normal is a big step in the right direction. I hope you have your own children one day and give them the love you deserved. Link to post Share on other sites
Curmudgeon Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 One of the nice things about being an adult is that you don't have to let anyone hurt you which is something they can usually only do with your permission. That includes people you're related to. Blood ties are not a license to be mean-spirited, rude or unpleasant. The first order of business is to remove toxic people from your life. If they happen to be related, so be it. You don't need them. When you really love someone you do everything in your power to avoid bringing them hurt, upset and dismay. It sounds as if your mother doesn't have the first idea of what love is. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 I am very proud of myself. She pulled this crap 2 nights ago and I am not on here making a bunch of misogynistic posts and I don't want to get revenge on the entire female gender. I don't even hate her that much. I am just astounded at how a person can be so warped in their thinking. Maybe I am finally starting to heal. That is excellent news! It sounds as though you're becoming able to observe her as an adult observing another adult and that you can objectively see that she is simply not thinking or behaving like a normal, healthy person. Perhaps it's having a great woman in your life that allows you to make the comparison between what a woman should be and what your mother is. The hardest thing about dealing with a sick relative is that you keep wishing it weren't so - that you could have a normal relative. Sadly, some people - like your mom - are so far gone that they're beyond help. Which sucks when you see people who have nice mothers and warm, close nuclear families. But unfortunately that's life for some people and you have to rise above it. It sounds like you're becoming an independent man, Woggle - one whose identity is his own and not skewed by the opinions of even his relatives Link to post Share on other sites
Sup Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Every time I think I am over her she goes and taunts me again. Tonight she called because we needed to have a talk and I see she is even more screwed up in the head than I thought. According to her she gave birth to me and I came out of her body so she had the right to do whatever she wanted to me. I was not respecting her independence when I objected to the abuse and I as a man needed to be humbled. I needed to be taught how to respect strong women and how inferior I was to her power. Now you people see why I have issues with women. It is a miracle I am not a serial killer. I'm not saying that you shouldn't forgive your Mother, you should do so. But who says that you have to contact her, or even be around her? When she finally does successfully contact you and asks why you havn't been around, avoiding her, tell her that she wasn't respecting YOUR independance, and how you are showing YOUR SUPERIOR power over her in not seeing her, contacting, or whatever. YOU don't have to tolerate that kind of abuse, NO ONE DOES! Now remember ladies, I don't say this towards all ladies, just about Woggles situation, his Mother. You don't have to see her Woggle if she does this to you Cut the cords........ In some way I can relate, in some way......... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 You are in a toxic relationship with her and you need to cut her off. Nothing says that you are obliged to let her sickness infect you all the days of your life. She's ill; that can't be helped. And that's very sad. But you have to cut the ties for the sake of your own health and your relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
malcolmjmuller2004 Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 This is quite funny Link to post Share on other sites
Buttaflyy Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 I am very proud of myself. She pulled this crap 2 nights ago and I am not on here making a bunch of misogynistic posts and I don't want to get revenge on the entire female gender. I don't even hate her that much. I am just astounded at how a person can be so warped in their thinking. Maybe I am finally starting to heal. Wow! I'm proud of you too! Link to post Share on other sites
amaysngrace Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Wow! I'm proud of you too! That goes double for me. I'm so glad that you finally realize it's about her. It's always been about her. It was never about you. I think with parents you should take the good they give and change yourself enough to not be the bad that they are. That's evolution. It's really healthy that you can see the good your upbringing has brought you and made you into who you are today. Link to post Share on other sites
Lizabeth Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 To be honest, I don't know what you shuld do. When my mum and dad drink, they both get a bit like that with me. especially my dad. but i love them still all the same, as they are my parents and i want to be there for them. i dont think you should cut her out of your life. just sit her down and talk to her, talk about how hurtful it is not being able to have a mother who loves and respects you as a mother should. maybe she will start sorting herself out. it sounds to me as if she may need a bit of help. maybe she had a ****ty upbringing or something. if that is the case, true what she says cannot be blamed on that, but maybe if she soughted some help, she would show a better attitude towards you... good luck Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 My mother is the exact same way. We should all get some kind of support chat room going or something. I'm estranged from my mother. She turns my father against me and I am always the bad guy. I'm tired of getting played, and I'm tired of being disrespected. It's hard sometimes because I was deprived of a loving family, and I have a lot of anger and trust and love issues today because of it. im going to give those self help books a shot. thanks for posting about them Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 omg. what a huge thing to do. 4 years ago i was dating a woman that told me stuff similiar to this and i gently but firmly told her she had to stand up to her mom [she wrote a song that i immediately understood] and i never found out if she did that - if she has that is a massive blockage now gone. celebrate your victory - sigh Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Don't ever blame yourself or others in the world for one bad nutcase - I'm so sorry you have had to endure all of this, and glad that you found inner strength from the experience. You must have determination like a rock by now. Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts