mylove Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Dear All I'm basically a Vaishnav Gujarathi and among our community it is said that 1st cousins cant marry each other. However myself and my love do not believe this. I'm in love with my fathers sisters son who is my 1st cousin. My ple and request to each one of you reading this mail is to support us with factual info from within our community. Kindly help us with cases where 1st cousins among Vaishnav Gujarathis have got married. If possible pls post the photographs and real life stories on happy and successful marriages like our case. This would help us immensely in convincing our families who at the moment are totally against us. pls pls help us out. Many Thanks to all for having read this mail. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 That kind of thing is looked down upon in the united states. Other fish in the sea. Hope you knew that. Link to post Share on other sites
WTF Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 Wait, I don't understand, First you said that cousins get married and you don't believe in it. Then you went on to say that it your parents that are against. Your post isn't clear. But either way..........there are other fish in the sea. Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 I don't suppose it's an uncommon thing here in the US, but it is highly frowned upon because of incestuous overtones and huge potential for genetic problems in offspring. one of the girls I went to high school with, who was two years behind my class, married her first cousin from the neighboring town. I don't know if they had kids (I think they did), but I do recall hearing that her family was freaked out by the whole thing because of the incest thing ... too freaky for my taste, but people will act on their desires. the best thing you can do is research less into sociological issues of a marriage between first cousins, because social mores change with time, and focus on the biological/genetic factor. What are the chances of bringing into this world a baby with problems of mental retardation? Chronic disease like diabetes/etc? Physiological problems (born with deformities, etc)? Finding the love of your life in the family is one thing, but do you want to risk injury to prospective children because the genetic line is too close for breeding? Link to post Share on other sites
quankanne Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 deleted post because it was duplicate Link to post Share on other sites
My Fair Katie Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 and focus on the biological/genetic factor. What are the chances of bringing into this world a baby with problems of mental retardation? Chronic disease like diabetes/etc? Physiological problems (born with deformities, etc)? The risk of that is actually way blown out of porportion. The Journal of Genetic Counseling reports that cousins only have a 1.7 to 2.8% higher chance of having a baby with a genetic disorder. So at the very worst the baby has a 7% chance of a Genetic Disorder instead of just under a 5% chance. So, 93% chance of a healthy baby. I think this arguement is rather disingenuous anyway (the argument presented by society, not you QuankAnne, I rather like you). No one tells people with Huntingtons Disease NOT to have children eventhough it is known to be genetic with a FIFTY percent chance of being passed down. Fifty percent verseus seven. Unfortunately MyLove, I know very little about Gaudiya Vaishnavism. I can tell you that when I read the Bhagavad Vita and Upanishads (forever ago mind you) I remember NOTHING about marrying cousins. Of course it's not like I was looking for such passages to begin with. However, if your community is against there is little you will be able to do to change their minds. Sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
Road Rage Posted December 14, 2006 Share Posted December 14, 2006 mylove Log on to cousincouples.com and become a member and discuss your situation there. You may find some helpful people and information. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Rough road to travel. You might as well be with a terrorist as far as your family is concerned. Is it worth it? Shame ... Humiliation.. Degradation... These are the attributes of the road you travel. If you choose this life. Move to a foriegn country.. never to see the family and shame them or yourselves again. Above all keep it secret... this is not accepted behavior in our society. Think this out. Link to post Share on other sites
Poboy Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Dear All I'm basically a Vaishnav Gujarathi and among our community it is said that 1st cousins cant marry each other. However myself and my love do not believe this. I'm in love with my fathers sisters son who is my 1st cousin. My ple and request to each one of you reading this mail is to support us with factual info from within our community. Kindly help us with cases where 1st cousins among Vaishnav Gujarathis have got married. If possible pls post the photographs and real life stories on happy and successful marriages like our case. This would help us immensely in convincing our families who at the moment are totally against us. pls pls help us out. Many Thanks to all for having read this mail. i dont have any such examples to help you out there but just one thing ... well im Indian so i understand your situation ... you are going into very dangerous territory , you and him risk being shunned from your families for the rest of your life ... marrying cousins in most hindu communities is a big taboo... dunno if its worth it in my opinion but you can go ahead according to your best judgements about the situation but be ready to face the consequences of it too... Link to post Share on other sites
MOMMIE Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 I have heard of 3rd and 4th cousins getting married in small towns where everybody is related but I have never heard of first cousins getting married...so if you have children will they be brother-sister or 2nd cousins...what would you tell them? Do you live in a small town? Where are you from again? Did you say it's accepted by your people? Link to post Share on other sites
Author mylove Posted December 16, 2006 Author Share Posted December 16, 2006 thanks for the revert. Link to post Share on other sites
Author mylove Posted December 16, 2006 Author Share Posted December 16, 2006 Thaks for the response. Link to post Share on other sites
Sup Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 Have you two been having sex already? Link to post Share on other sites
hopelessly_naive Posted December 29, 2006 Share Posted December 29, 2006 I don't have a whole lot to say one this subject, but it should be known that marriage between first cousins is legal in some states in the U.S. And I'm not just talking about what some people consider "hick states". Link to post Share on other sites
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