ncgirl1966 Posted July 8, 2002 Share Posted July 8, 2002 I have been dating a guy for only 3 months now. I really like him a lot and we get along great. He has been up front with me about his feelings for another woman. They have been friends for about a year, however she is married and from what he says she has no intentions of leaving her husband. They have never had an affair but he says he is in love with her. Should I hang around or let him go? It is driving me crazy. The more time we spend together, the more I feel for him. He says he really likes me but can't let go of these feelings for her. Link to post Share on other sites
velvet Posted July 8, 2002 Share Posted July 8, 2002 Try a temporary separation from him. Let him see what hes loosing by lusting after a women he already knows he cant have. Whats the point in it? You should tell him that! He must be blind to not see you standing there. He must not care or even sympathize otherwise he would wake the heck up and realize that he has someone, he has you. He is being very selfish right now and isn't putting anything into your r/s and hes loosing you more and more everyday. Your wasting time with him. The longer you hang around questioning what you lalready know the answer to is just causing more pain and a longer recovery. Tell him your leaving him for good. In fact don't tell him, just don't call, answer his calls or see him. Let him go crazy over loosing you too. Link to post Share on other sites
Tony T Posted July 9, 2002 Share Posted July 9, 2002 There is no good purpose to be served or anything to be gained by dating a person who is in love with another person, whether that other person is married or not. I think it also speaks loads about this guy that he would allow himself to develop such strong feelings for a woman who is in a marriage (majorly committed relationship) with someone else. I think this indicates he has intimacy issues and has a tendency to fall in love with people who are unattainable or otherwise unavailable. I also think it indicates a lack of morals on his part. On the positive side, you have to give him credit for being honest with you. This may be his way of saying..."let's have a nice sexual relationship but it will never be more than that because I love somebody else." You don't stand a chance in hell with this guy so move on before you really get hurt bad!!! You really don't need a guy who freely falls in love with married women. Why would you even have to ask? Link to post Share on other sites
questionaire Posted July 9, 2002 Share Posted July 9, 2002 Originally posted by ncgirl1966 I have been dating a guy for only 3 months now. I really like him a lot and we get along great. He has been up front with me about his feelings for another woman. They have been friends for about a year, however she is married and from what he says she has no intentions of leaving her husband. They have never had an affair but he says he is in love with her. Should I hang around or let him go? It is driving me crazy. The more time we spend together, the more I feel for him. He says he really likes me but can't let go of these feelings for her. BYE BYE HIM and tell him not think of another lady like that. It is not good. He will destroy another family it's time for you to say BYE BYE if he doesn't have feeling for you, why you want to keep him? let him go......... Link to post Share on other sites
Ally Boo Posted July 9, 2002 Share Posted July 9, 2002 Hey I talked to a friend of mine about this yesterday. He had a habit of dating married or taken women who had no intentions of leaving their husbands. He said 1) They were the easiest to pick up, 2) They would never call at night or drop by unexpectedly, 3) They'd never make any demands on them that a normal relationship requires. Tony is on it this time too...he seems to have MAJOR intimacy issues....oh and here's a thought. He told you he's in love with her, yet no affair? Um, do you really think he would risk the chance of her husband finding out from his potentially jealous lover? Sounds to ME like he's using you to be there when she can't....bc she has those obligations to her marriage and can't risk being with her bf. Link to post Share on other sites
Author ncgirl1966 Posted July 9, 2002 Author Share Posted July 9, 2002 Hi me again. Thanks all for your advice. I am still at a loss. I talked to him for a long time last night. He is afraid that I no longer want to see him. He tells me he has never met anyone like me. Part of me wanted to say "well then what is your problem". He asks me to be patient with him and the more he is with me the easier it becomes to let go of his feelings for this woman. God I don't get men. Anyway, I do appreciate all the advice I can get. Link to post Share on other sites
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