Any ideas?

[Guest]

My ex and I broke up over a year ago. Since that time, she has had one other boyfriend and is currently seeing a mutual friend of ours. However, in all this time, she has always maintained her want to be friends. To this day, like clockwork, she'll call me every week or 2 weeks just to catch up.

 

She never asks to see me, but yet always gets really upset when I tell her we can't be friends. So, I remain "friends", but I hardly see the point in it. We don't act like friends. I'm trying not to look to deeply or overanalyze our circumstances, but does anyone have any ideas as to why someone would want to just play "catch up" with an ex of over a year.

 

We did go out for 3 years after which she broke up with me. And as I said, she has always maintained her want to be my friend. Has this happened to anyone else?

[ultimon]

Sounds exactly like my previous ex. We went out for 3 years, yet she still tries to call me whenever she gets a chance and play catch up, trying to maintain a pseudo-friendship

 

I got really annoyed because it felt like she was still trying to have control over me even when she left me for another guy. It gave me a hard time getting over her. I just ended up doing NC and didn't care if she got mad or not.

 

I guess for my ex, she just can't stand the fact that I might hate her for what she's done. So she calls me every once in a while to make sure that I'm not angry at her.

[D-Lish]

Just out of curiousity, why do you pick up when she calls?

If she's seeing someone else, it doesn't make sense for her to call other than to allieviate her guilt. That's not your problem, it's hers. if I were you I'd cut off contact with her and just don't pick up when she calls or call her back if she leaves a message. Why bother?

Ya know?

[Guest]

Just out of curiousity, why do you pick up when she calls?

If she's seeing someone else, it doesn't make sense for her to call other than to allieviate her guilt. That's not your problem, it's hers. if I were you I'd cut off contact with her and just don't pick up when she calls or call her back if she leaves a message. Why bother?

Ya know?

 

Well, that's my point D-Lish. I mean, I agreed to stay friends, hence the reason I pick up her calls. What I'm trying to understand, and was hoping maybe someone could possibly shed some light on (even though no one knows what she's thinking) why she still calls me at all. Granted, we loved and cared for each other, but we broke up over a year ago. I don't want to bring it up to her, becuase we hardly talk anyhow.

 

I just want to know, or have an idea as to why she might keep in touch with me to follow-up on my life, if she is seeing someone else. I am an ex-boyfriend. Hardly a friend. How often do ex's keep in touch with each other over the years anyway? If they do, what are the reasons a dumper would keep calling a dumpee every so often just to find out about life's events???