Would she definitley have come back by now?

[Guest]

Okay here's the deal.

 

I stupidly lety things between my fiancee and I fall apart.

 

I did this becuase I was terrified of divorce, which in turn caused me to be afraid of marriage. I figured this out too late. She had already started seeing someone else she had met through an online dating service.

 

Here are the specifics

 

1. We dated from November 02 to may 06.

 

2. We talked up until August 06. She hinted at getting back together, but I was scared to get married. I didn't rule it out though. I called her up at the end of July with the intention of talking about getting back together. She told me she was seeing someone else.

 

3. Within a week I asked her to marry me. I wrote her a couple of letters before I realized what I was doing was counter productive. I saw a psychitrist, and he spelled out my problems out about my fear of marriage.

 

4. I got a letter telling me that we wouldn't be dating again. It also said she said she thought me someone that she might want to spend the rest of her life with. I thought this was strange being that this letter was written in September; less than three months after she met this guy.

 

5. I called her to tell her I got the letter ( bad idea ). We said we would talk some other time.

 

6. She's still dating that guy, we have a friend in common who told me that. Our friend also told me that she had asked how I was doing.

 

I know asking about me isn't a huge deal. However, we did date for three and a half years, we were engaged in August, and then we started arguing about the date in December of last year ( my fault ).

 

I haven't communicated to her at all since the end of September. She did say we wouldn't be dating again, but she said that once before, and we got back together.

 

I miss her very much. I pray twice a day to get back together with her. I'm trying not to put my life on hold, but I was more productive with her.

 

Since it's been more than four months since she met that other guy, and almost three since we've spoken. I'm pretty much screwed aren't I?

[D-Lish]

Maybe. Who can say.

 

If getting married is something she really wants, she may feel that you aren't the guy that is willing to do that.

 

If she's seeing someone else, it means that your time with her is over...at least for now.

 

I guess your chances depend on how close she is to her new bf.

[CaliGuy]

Your best bet is to focus on YOU and YOUR needs right now and not what she is doing or who she is with. You can't control that. The only thing you are 100% in control of is you.

 

Put the focus on yourself and let the past go. It is what it is. You can only do more harm to what is left in her memory of you by trying to change the past or correct what has already been done. Best thing to do is to live your life, date, have as much fun as possible and let the chips fall where they may.

[heartbroken1234]

Hmm, you never know whats gonna happen. I'm basically only responding to the part where you wrote

"i pray twice a day you get back together"... That is not a very fair and honesty prayer. It is kind of selfish. Prayer is a very powerful thing and a great thing. At the same time though, I'm not telling you how to pray, but I think you should focus more of your prayers towards just being happy, with or without her. And pray for her to be happy as well. What is meant to be will be. In the end, everything always works out for the best, you might not think its the best at the time, but fate is fate. You can only control how you feel and what you do. If you let her know how you feel, then thats really all you can do. She is either going to love you back and want you back, or not. Regardless, just stay true to yourself and your heart.

[Guest]

Hmm, you never know whats gonna happen. I'm basically only responding to the part where you wrote

"i pray twice a day you get back together"... That is not a very fair and honesty prayer. It is kind of selfish. Prayer is a very powerful thing and a great thing. At the same time though, I'm not telling you how to pray, but I think you should focus more of your prayers towards just being happy, with or without her. And pray for her to be happy as well. What is meant to be will be. In the end, everything always works out for the best, you might not think its the best at the time, but fate is fate. You can only control how you feel and what you do. If you let her know how you feel, then thats really all you can do. She is either going to love you back and want you back, or not. Regardless, just stay true to yourself and your heart.

 

This could be my story so let's pretend it is - and the woman I love is now dating someone, for me that would be all I needed to stop hoping that we would get back together. I would accept that. To my way of thinking, if a man gives his oath, or swears honesty and truth in his actions, an honest man can swear to this with the knowledge that, should he break his word, he is not a failure but human, and not a broken but simply someone that sees the value of an oath and holds himself accountable.

 

An oath is a personal matter, to be the truth, to fulfill a function. When a person fails to live up to their oath they must not only accept that they have failed all those who trusted them, but also that they have failed themselves. They must be prepared to accept the consequences in this life, and not fear the outcomes - i have taken a oath, vow and promise. I broke my promise to her, and she is dating now - i am a man. I would wish her happiness.

[Guest]

Hmm, you never know whats gonna happen. I'm basically only responding to the part where you wrote

"i pray twice a day you get back together"... That is not a very fair and honesty prayer. It is kind of selfish. Prayer is a very powerful thing and a great thing. At the same time though, I'm not telling you how to pray, but I think you should focus more of your prayers towards just being happy, with or without her. And pray for her to be happy as well. What is meant to be will be. In the end, everything always works out for the best, you might not think its the best at the time, but fate is fate. You can only control how you feel and what you do. If you let her know how you feel, then thats really all you can do. She is either going to love you back and want you back, or not. Regardless, just stay true to yourself and your heart.

 

I BELIEVE THAT MY EX IS STILL SINGLE AND DID NOTHING BUT RESPECT ME AND WOULD NOT CHEAT ON ME - HER SILENCE IS FROM HURT AND WHAT HAPPENED. BUT SHE KNOWS THIS CAN'T GO ON LIKE THIS ANY MORE AND I ASKED TO HAVE FAITH SO THAT WE CAN REPAIR THIS AND GET MARRIED - SHE DOESN'T WANT THAT - AND THAT IS WRONG BUT WHAT SHE WANTS SO I HAVE TO FINALLY BREAK AWAY FROM THIS RIGHT NOW. SHE IS MAKING A REAL DECISION TO END IT BECAUSE WHEN A MAN ASKING FOR YOUR HAND IN MARRIAGE - HE DOES NOT ASK TWICE.