This is so wrong, I don't know

[ant-juan]

My life partner and I have been together for 4 years; EVERYTHING IS THERE, the laughs, fun, excitment, honesty. We have been through a-lot besides all the bumps in the road we have survived and we are still going on, we make eachother happy. But there is only one thing wrong, this past weekend something horrible happened, my g/f cheated on me.

 

She told me 2 days after it happened, she cried her heart out, and I kept asking her details and WTF was she thinking when she did it. So..... the story flipped around and she told me that she didn't even get drunk and she hardly drank at all; now this girl can DRINK, she said she didnt have no more then a couple of drinks (being no more then five) now she is not a small girl and she can handle her own. Now my g/f went to a little get together with one of her friends from work, she only knew her friend from work and the girl that was throwing the party.

 

Now she said she was on her phone and this guy she met from work showed up to the party. They were in a room by themselves. They had a casual conversation and he offered her a drink, she said she refused and he asked "are you sure?" she told him no again. So he tells her that hes going to make a drink and that hes going to go ahead a bring one "just in case she wants a drink." So she drinks her first drink, and he asks if she wants another, she tells him "no, i'm fine," so he makes himself a drink and makes her one too.

 

They were drinking rum and coke, she said after she drank the 2nd drink she started feeling dizzy, and that her stomach was upset. She said she kinda layed on the sofa and blackedout, she can't remember anything that happened that night. Next, she wakes up in a room wondering were she is and she looks to her side and hes laying in bed with her. She said her shirt was hanging on her wrist and that her pants were button-ed up half way down her ass, with her zipper down.

 

Her panties were under the futon, she said she ran into the restroom and her shoes were in there and that she found her phone laying in the original room were she started drinking. Now she had called me when I was at work and she told me she needed to talk to me. I already knew that it was about her cheating on me; at first she didn't explain herself and she just told me that she cheated, I kept asking her and she kept telling me she didn't know what happened and she couldnt remember. It sounds like this guy put something in her drink, I'm not sure if she truly doesn't remember and she drank so much she blacked out, or this guy slipped a roofie in her drink.

 

I don't know if shes using this as a cover up. This girl is really honest and has always been true to her word, she cried her heart out and kept telling me she doesn't know what happened and that all she remembers is waking up next to this guy. I don't think she did it on purpose, she told me the guy kept bugging her to drink. She got blood work done, a urine sample, a checkup DOWN THERE, and got tested for aids. The results are pending. What do yall think was this a freak accident, or was she just being unfaithful and wanted some fun? I know this girl inside and out, like I said I doubt she would cheat on me.

 

Im really disgusted by this, and im so upset she wasn't thinking; she was by herself, this guy was bugging her to drink, then offered to bring her a drink even though she said no, c'mon his motive is obvious. PLEASE some advice or opinions!!!!

[goodfriendeva]

if she suspected something in her drink home come she didnt go to a hospital to get checked out?

[Rooster_DAR]

If you want to believe a sugar coated story go ahead, I don't buy the exuse one bit. Sure it's possible, but my guess is she is not telling you what really happened.

[whichwayisup]

Either you believe her or you don't. From what you've said it sounds like the guy drugged her drink.

 

Look at her past behaviour. She has never cheated on you, you two have a loving and close relationship so WHY on earth would she just go and fcuck some guy for the heck of it??

 

Get the Cops involved in this, wait for the blood test results too, then go from there.

 

You have a right to be upset and doubt her, but why would she lie about something like this? You know her, we don't...She has alot to lose if it really was just a one night stand and she made the whole thing up about him drugging her drink etc.....

[norajane]

her pants were button-ed up half way down her ass, with her zipper down.

 

Her panties were under the futon,

 

He must have been a magician to get her panties off without taking her pants off first.

[dropdeadlegs]

I think she was raped. Sleeping with someone without their implicit consent IS rape. Since she knows the guy, she may be in denial about it, not believing it actually was rape. That's the only reason I can see that she waited two days to tell you about this incident.

 

A couple of things I'm unclear about. You used the term life partner, which I associate with a homosexual relationship. Is your girlfriend a lesbian? Because why would she be sleeping with a guy if she prefers women?

 

Why was she in this room alone with this guy for what seems to be an extended period of time? Wasn't this a party? Usually parties involve people being together in a certain area, not off in a bedroom.

 

And this guy shows up that she met at work....yet he's sleeping with someone in the bedroom of the party hoster's house? That's weird to me unless you are all in high school.

 

Starting out saying she cheated is actually the least of my worries here. I think she was/is really confused about what happened that night. Something weird like that happened to me (not being able to remember all the details, but having certain glimpses) a very long time ago and I was so confused and embarrassed that I just wanted to forget it ever happened. Looking back, I may have been drugged. Funny, I hadn't thought about that in such a long time.

 

As WWIU stated, you know her better than we do. Those were just the odd things I didn't really understand from the post.

[ant-juan]

Like I said this girl has been completly honest with me throughout our realtionship, when she would go out she would tell me every little detail about her night out, EVERYONE that was there including guys. She has introduced me to all of her friends/guy friends, whoever it may be. When we first started talking she just told me that she cheated on me. I got upset at first and started talking trash; "how could you do this, how would you feel If some girl sucked me off and we slept together."

 

I just started putting her down and making her feel the pain I felt. She just kept saying that shes sorry and that everyone makes mistakes. The thing that kinda alerted me was because she wasnt explaining anything, I would ask her what happened and she would just tell me I don't know. It wasnt like, "well I got drunk and we started making out and I got horny and things happened." When I was talking to her she seemed so confused and disoriented, I think she waited two days to tell me because she felt uncomfortable.

 

She told me that she couldn't live with the guilt and that she couldnt keep something like this from me which I give her credit for. She is not the type of girl to have a one night stand. Two other things, I was looking up the side effects of roofies and she had no clue what a roofie was, nor did I bring it up to her, I guess she might have been blaming herself because she didnt know what was going on. The side effects: dizziness, headache, nausea, and some other ones.

 

I remember the day after she slept all day, she kept complaining about her head hurting and that her stomach was upset. She didn't blame it on the alchohol, or the guy she blamed it on herself. Another thing to she complained about her drink tasting funny, salty, that is one of the signs off a roofie. Again she had no knowledge off the date rape drug, so she had no motive to make up a story. I asked her every little detail and tried to catch her in a lie, she didnt go around in circles of F up, She is horrible at lying.

 

One last thing, when we had broke up she got drunk and made out with this guy, she didn't SLEEP with him, they just made out. She told me this and started to cry her heart out telling me that she was sorry, I kept telling her "sorry for what, we are not in a relationship no more."

 

She told me this, and we werent even in a relationship, she didn't have to tell me, this gives me a reason to believe she is telling me the truth. But theres still that little thing in the back of my head, the what if, the only thing I could think of for her having a reason to lie is our realationship, and how much it means to her. She told me that why would she come this far into the relationship and cheat on me. thanks for the thoughts and opinions

[jmargel]

You need to go on her past behavior. Which has been her honesty. She also told you right away. If she wanted a one night stand she could have easily covered it up and never told you. This is another plus for her.

 

She needs to contact the police and get checked out at the hospital. God knows what kind of STDs this guy has.

 

Now is a time for you to have to stand strong. Trust her and believe in her until you have proof otherwise. Don't make this harder on her than it already is. My wife was raped when she was 16 and still has major issues with it today. It is one of the worst things to go through.