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Can I gain this Italian's trust back? I'm devastated!


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An Italian from Rome and I had been dating for about 3 months. After a Thanksgiving break from college, he did not call me for four days after he came back. I panicked and incorrectly assumed he wasnt interested. Therefore, since im a direct person just left two messages(on different days-friday & sunday) asking if he still was just because if i didnt hear from him by like thursday (yesterday) i was going to assume he wasnt interested. i already know that was a mistake because it came across as an ultimatium to him as I found out after we "talked" yesterday. Rather he was upset with that because he felt pressured which was actually not the intention at all. What was the issue was that our mutual professor had found out some intimate details about us and he was upset by that.

 

I did mention to my professor that he and I dated and that I was upset with some of the things that he has done. I also mentioned that I was disappointed to why he hadn't already called me. That was the extent to what I said, but it was obvious he put the rest together (correctly). However, I had assumed this was in complete and total confidence with my professor as he had told me so. As a Europrean myself, (Spainard) I am used to people keeping their word and meaning what they say when they say it. However, it was apparent that my professor had actually told the Italian what I had said.

 

He seemed more upset that the professor knew as he has a love/hate relationship with the professor then the phone calls or anything else. As I did apologize profusely since I did not realize what a big deal it was he just brushed the apologizes off (understandbly). We ended with have a great break(the christmas break is coming up) I never see him on campus and to contact him I would probably need to call him. MY QUESTIONS: 1. Will he forgive me?/ 2. Can I call and apologize? If so, how long do I wait/ 3. Will he ever consider me as a dating potential?/4. Is there the potential to be friends?

 

He and I spoke and he basically came across as: I care about you, but I've felt that you crossed the line even though you didn't mean to. I felt pressured with the phone call things, upset that you didn't put more faith in us, embarassed by the professor thing and hurt because you made me lose my trust in you.

 

I saw him today on campus and he smiled (a geniune but no teeth smile) and gave a wave. I was planning on walking over to him but then his guy friend came up who had been waiting for him and they left. Should I have said something, should I call or what should I do?

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He and I spoke and he basically came across as: I care about you, but I've felt that you crossed the line even though you didn't mean to. I felt pressured with the phone call things, upset that you didn't put more faith in us, embarassed by the professor thing and hurt because you made me lose my trust in you.

 

That seems pretty clear. Step back and let it go. If he's interested and changes his mind, he knows where to find you.

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