Shrelana Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 A friend and I were curious...why is it only the woman who traditionally wears the engagement ring? And what is this obsession most women have with big rocks? My engagement ring for 2 years was a $5 ring that got painted silver every night....I love that ring and treasure it, even though I have a real diamond on my finger, that ring, green though it may be...it's always going to be cherished and set out on display in the ring box my current one came in. I can't understand why women place the value of the rock over the value of a man who loves them? :S:S i dunno...maybe it has something to do w/ my fiance and I being poor broke college students who, for those who have seen The Count of Monte Cristo (great book)...I would be Mercedes...being happy to wear a string for a ring. Link to post Share on other sites
future_priest Posted December 15, 2006 Share Posted December 15, 2006 Traditionally, men would give the woman they are to marry a ring to signify the commitment. This ring would then be a mark to other women that she'd found "him." The size of the gem would often be taken to mean the wealth of the man, and just as is now, then, wealth was of importance to society. Perhaps it was even more important to those who grew up poor as it was not uncommon to marry into a wealthy family and then look after one's parents. The sad part of all of this is that as women have become more independant they have started wanting large stones for other reasons (and it's rarely to show commitment). As to why only the woman wears an engagement ring, well. Typically it is a man who is taking the woman to be his bride. The man is seen as the support both financially and physically of the family (this is not always true in today's society, but the ideal remains). So in such a way the man is presenting her a mark of his promise. Also, traditionally, the man would seek out the woman in courtship, not the other way around, so since the men weren't being directly sought after, at least not overtly, there was no need to show publicly that a man was "taken" however, it was necessary to show that a woman was, because until it was shown, it was considered acceptable for other men to seek her hand in marriage. Link to post Share on other sites
goodfriendeva Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 i know what you mean about a lil ring.. although my engagment ring wasnt one i had to paint.. it was one that he could afford at the time.. its gold and heart shaped with little diamonds around it. very pretty. it was my promise ring, then became my engagment.. we ened up getting married with it.. do i care not at all.. i love this ring.. it suits me just fine.. i think it embarrass him a lil because of the whole thing of women wanting a big rock.. but you know im very rpoud with it... were are just starting out with our new life.. when we are able to buy "nicer" rings we will then.. but this ring i wear now will always have a special place in my heart. Link to post Share on other sites
milvushina Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 My understanding is that an expensive ring - two or however much months' salary - is a symbol of a person's ability to work, save money and achieve a goal. It's like getting a degree, when you go looking for a job you have this degree that might be in a different area of study than the job but it still says, "I can focus and follow through with something." It's not completely just shallow materialism. My ring happens to be a family heirloom, so it only cost my husband the price of a cleaning and changing of one stone. And I love my ring. Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I'd rather have any other stone in the world than a diamond. I used to think that diamonds were the be-all end-all of engagement rings. But knowing what I know about the diamond industry has ruined diamonds for me for the rest of my life. Link to post Share on other sites
Porn_Guy Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I can't understand why women place the value of the rock over the value of a man who loves them? because many women are stupid and always trying to one-up their female friends... Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I used to think that diamonds were the be-all end-all of engagement rings. But knowing what I know about the diamond industry has ruined diamonds for me for the rest of my life. why b_0....is it cause the diamond industry controls the supply of diamonds worldwide to keep the prices artificially high? Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I see many men that want their wife to have a giant rock. It makes the male look better ...... see what I got her. I returned the ring my H bought....... way too expensive, way too big, and hazardous to wear while working. Diamonds are by far the most boring stone. Any person can buy a diamond, they all pretty much look the same as far as settings and such. Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 The sad part of all of this is that as women have become more independant they have started wanting large stones for other reasons (and it's rarely to show commitment). This is about as inaccurate as it gets. It has nothing to do with independence and more to do with gold-digging. If you look back historically at more traditional women, "diamonds are a girl's best friend"... As for rock versus string, I like rocks but only what the guy can afford. It signifies to me that he wanted to give me something special versus the pricetag associated to it. I've got enough serious jewelry that I barely wear because I forget to put it on in the morning. Link to post Share on other sites
Porn_Guy Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I returned the ring my H bought....... way too expensive, way too big, and hazardous to wear while working. yea I guess you dont' want to be wearning snazzy rings while cutting up hog bellies Link to post Share on other sites
a4a Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 yea I guess you dont' want to be wearning snazzy rings while cutting up hog bellies Yeah...... thats right. You are a genius! Now go wipe the drool hanging from your lip. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Yeah...... thats right. You are a genius! Now go wipe the drool hanging from your lip. :lmao: Link to post Share on other sites
WoWaddict Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 once upon a time, there actually was a purpose for having the best and most expensive engagement ring. I'm just going to say 'back in the day' because I have no idea exactly when this took place. So, Back in the day, when women were not allowed to own property, the fiance/husband would spent the most amount of money possible on an engagement ring. It wasn't about greed or material goods then, it was a means of insurance. If the husband were to die before the wife, the wife could not claim any property owned by the husband (land, house, etc). Therefore, when he died, she was meant to cash in her engagement ring so she could have money to support herself and any children for a period of time. The value of tradition just carried over even when women were given rights to property, etc. etc. Mainly now, the rock is just a symbol of financial status and personal feeling on material goods. I don't want anyone to take that as having an engagement ring as a bad thing, because to each his own. my bf has bought me quite a few nice peices of jewelry. He gets extremely nice things at a good price. He doesn't mind spending money, but he knows right away when the store is blowing smoke up his behind when it comes to the prices. After all, he was a car mechanic for most of his life, if he couldn't spot a bs'er from a mile away, then he worked with his eyes closed the whole time. Hannoush Jewelers is the way to go, in case anyone is looking for a nice place. He even picks them out himself, and I actually like them, I would have even picked them out myself if I had been there. *gasp*. I know, he's good. lol He got me a very beautiful necklace for graduation and an even more beautiful promise ring. He likes to spend money on me, what he calls 'giving me shiney things' (lol), and he likes to show me off wearing them. lol. which is perfectly fine, imo, because there's nothing wrong with being proud of what you have. Link to post Share on other sites
Grrlish Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 While it is a cultural norm in this country to give an engagement ring when proposing, the bottom line is that it's up to the two individuals involved whether or not an engagement ring is important. Other than what it means to the two individuals involved, an engagement ring is a symbol to show the rest of the world your intent and your commitment. It is a symbol of your love for the world to see. It doesn't have to be a big ol' rock. (But there's nothing wrong with a guy wanting to give a gal a big ol' rock. ) You can get some nice bands for really low prices. Even bands with diamonds or gem stones don't have to be expensive - a couple/few hundred dollars. Heck, if you're a broke college student or in a situation where money is SUPER tight, hit up a local re-sale store. The most important thing is for the two people to be on the same page about the issue. If they're not, they may have bigger problems than the engagement ring. Personally, I would expect a man to have an engagement ring in hand if here were proposing - and I'm okay with feeling that way. I'm not materialistic and don't really want to be with someone who is particularly materialistic. Like A4A (above), I don't know how I'd feel with a really big ring/stone. It really wouldn't match my lifestyle - active, outdoorsy, gardening, weight-lifting. Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 A friend and I were curious...why is it only the woman who traditionally wears the engagement ring? And what is this obsession most women have with big rocks? My engagement ring for 2 years was a $5 ring that got painted silver every night....I love that ring and treasure it, even though I have a real diamond on my finger, that ring, green though it may be...it's always going to be cherished and set out on display in the ring box my current one came in. I can't understand why women place the value of the rock over the value of a man who loves them? :S:S i dunno...maybe it has something to do w/ my fiance and I being poor broke college students who, for those who have seen The Count of Monte Cristo (great book)...I would be Mercedes...being happy to wear a string for a ring. Where are women like you when guys need em the most? This just shows there are decent women who are not so fricking material. You real women are few and far between. Cheers! Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 I can't understand why women place the value of the rock over the value of a man who loves them? Well if they do, then it's a sure sign that the relationship is going to go a particular way... but then perhaps some men are happy to be the ones able to provide a big rock (material things) and very little else. Who knows why some people get married..? I would say, however, that all this 'I'd be happy with a piece of string' is fine as far as it goes... but just make sure you're not selling yourself short for the sake of a romantic dream... he might just be really pleased to get away with something so cheap. At the end of the day, the ring is a symbol... and what it symbolises means far more than what it consists of... that goes for diamonds OR string ~ the material doesn't really matter, but the idea and sentiment, and promise is all. As someone else said above... just make sure you and he are on the same page. Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Well, I gave my EX a very nice rock, where did it leave me? Her having an affair with a co-worker and not giving the engagement ring back. Never again!!!! Next time I'm giving my fiance a Cracker Jack ring Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Well, I gave my EX a very nice rock, where did it leave me? Her having an affair with a co-worker and not giving the engagement ring back. Never again!!!! Next time I'm giving my fiance a Cracker Jack ring So the unfaithful one got the rock and the next one gets plastic..? What kind of a message are you sending there..? So often the case.. it's so hard to know the ones to squander one's good stuff on, eh? Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 So the unfaithful one got the rock and the next one gets plastic..? What kind of a message are you sending there..? So often the case.. it's so hard to know the ones to squander one's good stuff on, eh? :laugh::laugh: I was attempting to be funny! D'oh! Link to post Share on other sites
Rooster_DAR Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 Then again, if she is happy enough having a cracker jack ring would'nt that be the kind of person to hold on to? Hmmmm Link to post Share on other sites
frannie Posted December 25, 2006 Share Posted December 25, 2006 :laugh::laugh: I was attempting to be funny! D'oh! Oooh... so it never happened... and you're not feeling crap about it..? (sorry lol... I have no idea) Link to post Share on other sites
vanessabg Posted December 30, 2006 Share Posted December 30, 2006 I'd rather have any other stone in the world than a diamond. I used to think that diamonds were the be-all end-all of engagement rings. But knowing what I know about the diamond industry has ruined diamonds for me for the rest of my life. I think Diamond ring is the best ring for engagement then the other stones.i am also have a diamond ring in my engagement. Link to post Share on other sites
jenie Posted January 3, 2007 Share Posted January 3, 2007 I think its extreme to say that women place the value of the love in their relationship on the size of their ring......thats ridiculous...i mean, if a real woman wants a big ring, she doesnt need a man to buy it for her, she can buy her own damn ring. I have a nice ring, its not huge but its what I wanted, and I am very happy with it. just my opinion..everyone is happy in their own way.... Link to post Share on other sites
Motor35 Posted January 17, 2007 Share Posted January 17, 2007 because many women are stupid and always trying to one-up their female friends... AGREED! I am a female and I don't get the whole huge rock thing. I would be more than happy if my love proposed with a ring that made my finger green. That would be fine for me. I just want the 'one.' It doesn't matter what kind of ring I get. In addition to - I wouldn't want to wear anything that had to be insured. Link to post Share on other sites
dropdeadlegs Posted January 18, 2007 Share Posted January 18, 2007 Then again, if she is happy enough having a cracker jack ring would'nt that be the kind of person to hold on to? Hmmmm I would be happy with a Cracker Jack ring. But then again I'm happy with no ring at all. I hope that, in addition to everything else I bring to the table, makes me worth hanging on to. Link to post Share on other sites
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