Lizabeth Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 I am 17 and my boyfriend is 19. We are in love, we are soulmates, we are best friends... But I have a very severe jealousy/paranoia problem. I dont understand why because I have never been cheated on or anything in the past. but i have always been really paranoid about this girl.. Lets call her marie.. i have never liked her.. loud mouthed, confident, attractive. and she was close friends with my boyfriend (before i kind of interfered i know its bad and i am a cow but.. i didnt mean to..) we have been together for 9 monthes,and he has always nown how much i depise her and get paranoid about her.. and only tonight he told me he ''got with her once''.. and i just cnt handle it basically.. i went berserk and chucked him out.. and now i dont know what to do.. i feel as if i dont want him to touch me again i will never be able to have sex or anything with him again because i will just think hes imagining its her.. he has been with others in the past.. but.. just her... i cant stand it.. i really cant. i dont know what to do, i really don,t i love him so much.. so much.. but at the moment i dont want him near me.. whenever i think about it i just burst into tears.. please someone help me.. thankyou.. x Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizabeth Posted December 16, 2006 Author Share Posted December 16, 2006 please someone help me!! this is tearing me up so much. i am so unstable at the mo. i need some advice FAST Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 tell him how u feel and remember the past is the past - it isn't important to u or him. Link to post Share on other sites
whichwayisup Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 (before i kind of interfered i know its bad and i am a cow but.. i didnt mean to..) Are you saying he was with her first, then you came into the picture and now he's just with you? Because if this is how you two ended up together, there is your reason WHY you are feeling jealous and insecure. And also, if he was with her before you came into the picture, that's none of your business, it's HIS past, his experience...I'm sure you wouldn't really enjoy him freaking out because of your ex's? (Just trying to put some sense into why you're so upset about this...) Link to post Share on other sites
Trialbyfire Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 Every woman has a spidey-sense about other women. I'm guessing your instincts told you that there was something there, previous to him every telling you. It's amazing how the subconscious picks up the tiniest clues. I hope he's never denied that he was with her before and only fessed up now about the "once". If he's denied it to this point, he's got something to hide. Link to post Share on other sites
Sand&Water Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 Lizabeth, The fact that he once "got with her" and it didn`t work out says tremendous amount of information about where his true feelings lie. Think about the diferences and similarities of the relationship you have with him. Once you understand the love complex you both share, you'll see that Marie isn't as lucky as you -i.e. he, at least, is trying to maintain good grounds with you, while providing security, stability, honesty and love. The only major red flag, you should keep in hindsight is IF Marie does something that clearly crosses the friendship line. Above all do what is best for you. You should know where you stand; no one else can tell you exactly what to do. Communication is key. You don't want to just up and leave. That is unfair. Good Luck. Sand&Water Link to post Share on other sites
barfool Posted December 16, 2006 Share Posted December 16, 2006 Amen, S&W. Well said. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Lizabeth Posted December 17, 2006 Author Share Posted December 17, 2006 Thankyou all so much for your advice . I have spoke to him about it, and found out that all he did was kiss her. Eek! So all this fuss for near enough nothing =/. True, I still feel .. I dunno, Jealous maybe? That she has kissed him, but that is nothing that can change, what happend happend. However I do still have problems dealing with his past... It is pathetic, any girl he has liked/been with.. Whenever I see them.. I just get all bitchy and defensive.. And angry with her... and him too =\ especially when they have any sort of contact... When they hug for example... GRR it's annoying, but I just don't know what to do. I know I have to accept that we have all had a past, but it feels asif my mind won't stretch to do that and I know it puts pressure onto him too, and it causes a lot of problems in our relationship. Is this normal? What can I do about it, and has anyone ever had the same problem? Thankyou all so much - you have helped a lot already . xx Link to post Share on other sites
VandGsMom Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 You never really answered the question of whether this happened BEFORE or AFTER you two became an item... That speaks volumes to me about the guy even if it was just a kiss... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 Yes Before Or After Quite Important Piece Of Info I Agree Link to post Share on other sites
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