Constructing Foundations of Mutural Respect

[Aquarius Guy]

I could compain that my wife is abusive and deisrepectful. I have read books and threads on countering verbal/physical abuse.

 

Taking the same situation, but defining the problem as my failure, as a husband, to provide the leadership that would establish the building blocks of respect, may me to other approaches.

 

Hereis a Link to a LS Thread with a nice formula for a successful marriage:http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t19887/?highlight=Respect+Beliefs

 

This is a nice list of attributes of a good marriage, but what are the processes for building the respect, if affection becomes intermittent?

 

Perhaps we can visualize imaginary steel beams between two partners.

 

It may be good to keep a ready list of agreed upon goals.

 

1. We both want what is best for the children.

 

2. We both want what to enjoy the grandchildren, without undermining the authority of their parents.

 

3. We both want a pleasant atmosphere in the house.

 

4. We both want our College-son to finish college.

 

5. We all want to feel that no one in the house is excessively neglecting a fair share of the household chores.

 

6. We all want to help with getting the cars in for service sooner, so more expensive repairs are avoided, by not compounding further problems.

 

7. We all want to feel there is a workable system for geting the laundry done, and the trash out on trash days.

 

8. We each have ideas how the other partner could be more thrifty with the family budget. Our challenge is to avoid feeling resentful, so that we are blocked from finding more ways to be more thrifty.