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Why not tell?


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In my situation I would have respected the OW a lot more if she had the remorse and the guts to tell me about it. I agree with lasan. The s/o deserves to know.

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In other words, when you tell the wife, you may help her, wake her up, contribute to her knowing the truth, and taking the right steps, but you may also turn her (and her children's) life upside-down and cause a lot of misery. You don't know what's better for her, but you're playing a god and changing her life. It involves a lot of responsibility to tell. I would tell a very close friend though. As a wife, I would definitely like to know if I had a choice. But I would be happier not finding out.

 

It's just so mixed up, isn't it..? You say here, that it could all go downhill for the wife, but you'd tell a close friend if you knew, and you'd want to know yourself. There really is no universally-applicable 'yes' or 'no' to all this. But I completely agree with you, and puddleofmud who say that it's inflicting your own morals/views of whether she 'should' know onto someone else. Very tricky.

 

But, on a lighter note, this made me laugh out loud:

 

But you were not married to the same person! :laugh:

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