Guest Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Hi, I haven't spoken to my x since the beginning of October and the last communication we had was the end of October. He did just send me an Xmas card, signed it "best wishes". He is the one that broke up with me although I had told him I couldnt' go on like we were. So this a.m. I looked at my phone messages and he had called me and left me a message saying he wanted to talk to me. I am TERRIFIED to call him as I'm "sure" he is going to tell me to give up on us, to stop checking his myspace page, to stop going to his website and to just let it go. Why do I automatically assume that this is what he is going to say to me when he could just as easily say, I really miss you and I want to get back together with you? I don't know what to do. I'm afraid I'm going to have to take an Ativan to make it through the day. Please help. Link to post Share on other sites
notmakingsense Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 Right -- why are you assuming that? He's the one that is writing and calling. A person that wants to move on doesn't keep calling unless he feels guilty about something. If *you* don't think that a reconciliation will work, and if *you* aren't ready for a simple friendship -- then you don't have to call him back or answer his calls. However, if you really do think you guys have a chance, then I think you should see why he is calling. It may not turn out to be a good call, but at least you won't always be wondering "what if"..... just don't repeat mistakes more than once. Link to post Share on other sites
MOMMIE Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 always believe for the best....and send me a ativan;) ...it would be nice if you two got together by christmas:love: Link to post Share on other sites
Kelso Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 I can feel your pain I hope everything goes well when you finally call him. Don't be scared, he wouldn't be sending you text messages and calling you if he doesn't want anything to do with you. At least if it's true that you have kept the NC. I'm gonna open myself to my ex tonight. I don't wanna play any games with her so I'm just gonna keep it simple and send her a text message when I know she will be lying in her bed (I know her habits). I'm simply gonna send: "I miss you". That will definetly sting her in the heart, if she has any feelings for me. If so, she will reply with something similar. If she doesn't have any feelings for me then she won't answer or will tell me and I don't have to think about us getting back together no more. If she will reply with something nice, I am gonna buy her flowers and have the very first photo of us together developed and I'm gonna write on the backside something cute about us. Then I'm gonna deliver it at her works before she gets there so it will be waiting for her when she gets there. Of course this depends on the reply of my text (if I get any). I'm so nervous right now and I know exactly how you feel. But let's just calm down and hope for the best. Good luck to you... Link to post Share on other sites
MOMMIE Posted December 17, 2006 Share Posted December 17, 2006 "you got game";) I'm praying she'll text back "i miss you too"... Link to post Share on other sites
Kelso Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Well, 20 minutes since I sent it. Haven't received a reply. I guess that's the end of it... Unless she is asleep already, but I doubt that. Truth sucks I guess Link to post Share on other sites
MOMMIE Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 aahhh.....Maybe she's just sleep...I hope everything works out... Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 aahhh.....Maybe she's just sleep...I hope everything works out... sounds like you have those nervous butterfly feelings like you did in the past - that's kewl. hope things work out for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Kelso Posted December 18, 2006 Share Posted December 18, 2006 Well, 11 hours since I sent it - and still no reply. It doesn't feel that bad though. I didn't get my hopes up too high, and I guess that now I know for sure that she doesn't have any strong feelings towards me, so I guess I can let it go. I don't want a pity relationship, I want a relationship which she cares about, and if she doesn't care about this one, then we're both better without it. My problem was that I couldn't open up to other girls until I had gotten rid of all chances with this one. I'm gonna see next weekend how it goes What about you guest? How did it go for you?? Link to post Share on other sites
Ssheena Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Sshhhhh... actually it was me posting as "guest".. It went well and we are sort of/since we still haven't seen each other (it's a LDR) back together! I am committed to doing everything I can to make this work and I'm sooo glad I didn't ever contact him during all this time. Now granted he hasn't changed his status on his stupid myspace page back to being in a relationship but...at least we are talking and we are both on the same page as far as our love for each other and what we want. After I got the voice mail, I sent him an email saying I was scared and why and then he called me and we talked and we worked it out. Kelso, if it was me and my x had sent me a text message like that I would have responded I miss you too. That she didn't and unless she has now says a lot about her frame of mind. I never stopped loving my guy and if he had written me or texted or whatever, I would have immediately been there for him. I'm sorry. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Kelso, You're doing what I used to do... sending little messages once and while with great hopes of a response. Those responses never came for me. The problem is that you keep setting yourself up for rejection when you have expectations attached. Stick to the NC- it's best! Setting yourself up for disappointment over and over again will just keep you stuck! D Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 I'm sitting here reading "20 minutes, no response......11 hours no response" and all I can think of is "Wow, now that's needy!" You have to learn to let things go and let fate take it's course. It's like you are banking your entire life on whether this person calls or not. Link to post Share on other sites
silentcharon Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 CG's right. Just let it go. Don't let it dictate your life- that's no way to live. It sucks, I know. If she wanted to be with you, she would be. But she's not. Move on. Link to post Share on other sites
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