Crush on a Client

[Stone]

I have been single now for about 1 year, and I wasn't ready to date again untill I met MR. Client, I was trying to win his business for his group health insurance and finally I did. So in our meeting I THINK he has been flirty, he asked alot of questions about my personal life, we both have a child the same age bla bla bla. He has mentioned a few times that he is divorced.

 

He hasn't asked me out and usually I would just be the agressor but he is a client, I don't know if I should go there. I know he is at least attracted to me but don't know if he has a girlfriend. I usually would not even think about dating a client but I can't get him off my mind, he makes me laugh, he is so cool I have never had a "Crush" like this before. I wish he would ask me out. I was going to ask him to lunch next time I am in his area, I am in sales I do often take clients out to lunch, but it's already a done deal.... Please advise.

[Lizabeth]

Well, if I was you, I would get him aside and ask him out for lunch, not a business lunch but personal lunch. Out having lunch with him on personal terms has nothing to do with work. Sure he was a client, but you haven't brought your personal life into the business side, you have asked to meet him elsewhere and I think that is fair enough. Find out what the deal is and if he is interested, explain to him the work situation and how you feel.

Anyway that's what I would do, but I am only young so, I don't really know much about working etc.

Good luck

[VandGsMom]

I would think that as the deal is done, if you wait a respectful period between the sale and the hit up for a date, then you should be fine.

 

Does your company have any policies regarding dating clients?

 

I would assume that the burden would be on him at his workplace. You made the sale and the profit, I would be more concerned about it if I was him and have my office wondering if I bought from you because I wanted a piece or because you were the best offer...

[Craig]

He could be interested in you or working you for a better deal on his insurance package. Either way, he's opened the door and said here I am, this is my life, we have things in common and I'm free to start a new relationship.

 

When you are in the aggressor mode you can drop appropriately timed hints about lunch something like "I'm going to be in your area around noon and was wondering if you knew of any good restaurants in the area, I'm by myself so I can't ask anyone else from your area..." Now that is smack right in his face without being too cave-womanish. He might ask to take you to lunch.

 

If he is a normal male that requires a brick across the temple to get a point then you could step up the aggressor mode a notch and just say "why don't you join me for lunch, I really enjoy your company." Again you're being forward without presenting yourself as a shameless hussy.

 

Of course if you ask him to lunch he may have a valid reason for declining like his boss has flown in to have lunch with him or whatever. But you already know that his answer to you can be yes, no or not right now.

 

So...maybe take things slow, go for lunch or coffee and see what happens. Watch his body language and your body language and see what happens.

 

Now if you're asking whether it's ok to show interest in a client where it isn't a done deal then I would say if it's honest and mature on both sides then it is ok. I never mixed on-going business with dating because I wanted to focus all of my attention and her attention on the actual business transaction.

 

I've never dated a current client and I've only dated (briefly) one previous client and that was a year and a half after the deal had been done. I could tell that she was attracted to me during negotiations but never went there. I wanted anyone I dealt with in business to have immense trust in me and felt that introducing a personal relationship to a business relationship before the business was done might not be looked upon favorably in the future.

[Stone]

Thanks Craig you brought up some good points, I am doning my Corporate Christmas Basket Drop Off this week and I'll ask him to lunch then. He brought up lunch before but didn't follow up on it.

 

I told him that most likley his insurance rates will go down a bit and they have for most of my clients in the past, he said " If they do I'm taking you to Lunch" Actually in my luck they increased, only by .75 cents an employee so maby I can say" OK they increased a bit so I owe you lunch?" My only problem is next year, If I date him this year and things get weird I may lose the account, HOWEVER he has made it very clear he is happy with the service I provide, has personally called my supervisor and told him I was AWASOME, and given me refferals. I've obviously provided such wonderful customer service because I follow thru a little much for chances to see him again. He would be a great refferal source if I left things professional but the account really isn't that big, so it may be worth the risk.

[Trialbyfire]

After reading your story, my business instincts say no, don't do it. If you value this client due to a lucrative business relationship, what might happen if you have a fall-out? Keep in mind that employer's golden rule is that the client is always right.

[Stone]

We went to lunch last week, kept it casual, I do take several clients out for business. Durring lunch we we're discussing kids ect we are both single parents, divorced and some how and we came to an agreement that we both like Mexican, so he picked up the tap and when I told him that I wanted to put it on my expense account he just said "Well have to go out for Mexican then you can pick up the tap"

 

We nolonger have business ties for atleast another year, I really want to presue him but I am not sure if he is intrested.

[blind_otter]

We went to lunch last week, kept it casual, I do take several clients out for business. Durring lunch we we're discussing kids ect we are both single parents, divorced and some how and we came to an agreement that we both like Mexican, so he picked up the tap and when I told him that I wanted to put it on my expense account he just said "Well have to go out for Mexican then you can pick up the tap"

 

We nolonger have business ties for atleast another year, I really want to presue him but I am not sure if he is intrested.

 

Hey Stone! Good to see you. I hope your kids are doing well.

 

I would go ahead and get him to go out to lunch, again. It seems obvious to me that he's interested in you, why would he be dropping hints otherwise? The only thing is maybe he's unsure of how to proceed since you do have a business relationship, know what I mean?