A guide to treat your Man right

[DanielMadr]

I stumbled on this and I think it should go more public. Here you are:

 

A guide to treating your man right

 

By AngelPagel

 

As a very important caveat to this post: Please, please only do these things if you man treats you right as well. If you are dating a guy that lies, cheats, steals, ignores you, hits you, puts you down, etc, don’t follow this guideline. Dump him because you deserve better.

 

I’ve seen a problem developing on the boards and in real life about romance. So often it is the man dishing it out and the woman taking it. “How do I treat a girl I am dating?” or “How do I get my boyfriend to be more romantic?” are heard quite frequently.

 

Most of the romance talk is focused on the man creating the romance. And, from my experience, this is not how a good relationship should function.

 

Often, romance is viewed like this:

 

Girl: Treat me special, take me on nice dates, surprise me with flowers, keep our relationship exciting.

Guy: OK

 

But really, here is how it should be:

 

Girl: Since Bill took me on that great camping trip last weekend, I am going to surprise him with tickets to the game when his team is in town.

Guy: Wow, that game was really great. I am going to make Jane a special dinner tonight and have it ready when she comes home from work.

Girl: Yum, thanks for that great dinner, how 'bout I give you a great massage.

 

So, to try and close the romance gap, I decided to create this list of tried, true and field-tested ways to treat your man well. I am gearing it towards the ladies right now, but men should pay attention as well, because it can and does work for women as well. (That fact has also been tested and approved.)

 

 

1) Love yourself. Do not always depend on others as your complete source of love. Once you have self-love, self-respect and self-confidence flow from it. Then you can begin to share that love with others freely in a way that does not feed but enhances their love for themselves.

 

2) Don’t try to change him, love him for who he is. Pretty simple concept. Men are not blank canvasses, they are already works of art. With large issues, such as lifestyle or personality, you can’t change him. If he wants a woman who will stay at home and clean and you want to work, you need to rethink the relationship. If he never expresses his feelings for you and you want a guy who can talk the talk and walk the walk, you also have to think about ending it.

 

But, for smaller things, you can hopefully work it out. But, often, women try to change the small things by nagging. “Why do you have to watch sports on Sunday? Why do you have to go out for beers so much? Why can’t you do this, that or the other thing more (or less)?” (Lucky for me, I really like going out for beers, but not all women do.)

 

You have to realize that he enjoys doing things he likes just as you enjoy doing things you like. You have three choices to deal with this, and you should probably use a mix of both –

 

A) Occasionally join him and try to enjoy the things he likes as well.

B) Lead by example. Do the things for him that you want him to do for you. (See #4)

C) Do your own things during this time.

 

3) Which brings me to my third point. Give each other space to be individuals. He loves football and you hate it. So, you can take Sunday to go running with your friends or go to a museum. Although you are one in many things, you should both have your own interests as well. They add to your happiness and allow for breathing room.

 

4) Make your man feel special. This is basically the definition of ROMANCE, in my mind. You can’t be selfish in a relationship, always wanting your guy to make you feel like a queen. You have to remember that you have to make him feel like a King too. The key to this is IMAGINATION and THOUGHT.

 

Some of the things you can do are very small – like remembering to compliment him on his ideas or his body every once and awhile. He wants to know that you enjoy his company and also want his hot body. Or, remembering to kiss him hello each time you see him or squeezing his butt in an elevator. Or, making him a nice dinner. It is all about thinking of nice things to do and remembering to do them.

 

As far as big things go, gifts are great. Often it is the thought that is big but the gift is small. Often this gift can be big as well. As with small things, surprise and spontaneity can make or break a romantic gift. I’m not going to tell you what to buy a man, because you know your guy better than I. But, if he likes to cook by him a cookbook, if he likes to hike buy him a trail map and take him there. Surprise trips can also go in the great gift category.

 

5) Be positive and fun to be around. Obviously, no one is 100% perky all the time, but most often, you should be making each other happy, not sad, depressed, angry or hurt. Negative emotions often rub off on others. And being positive is a big part of creating happiness. A great way to be positive and happy is to laugh at yourself and not take every small thing so seriously. All this goes back to point #1 about loving yourself. You have to do that to be a positive person.

 

6) Forget about power. It has no place in a healthy relationship. Don’t try to hold up sex or anything else as a card in a power play. Once you develop true intimacy, honesty and trust in a relationship, it no longer becomes a game. Because, in a game, only one person wins. Having a good relationship is about both people winning.

 

7) Be enthusiastic about sex. Flirt with him, talk about how much you want him and initiate sex on a regular basis. Send him a steamy email or letter. Whisper in his ear at a party and go into a closet. Touch him frequently. A good sex life is based on both people really wanting each other. Imagination is key here as well.

 

8) Respect your man. Respecting his ideas, his needs and his wants should be important to you. You want him to respect you, so you have to respect him. Reciprocity is the key to healthy relationships in all matters, especially respect.

 

Whoa, sorry that was so long. But, I hope it helped.

 

What do you say?

[KittenMoon]

I say this is pretty generic- you could replace the word "man" with "woman" and it would be equally true.

[littlekitty]

Pretty good.

 

Although I'd say many of these things should come fairly naturally simply because you're with someone who you love!

[DanielMadr]

Pretty good.

 

Although I'd say many of these things should come fairly naturally simply because you're with someone who you love!

 

thats the theory....

 

But in reality you have to be 'the giving person' too and it is harder. Some girls/guys are happy to be in love only and dont realize it is hard work not to repel your SO.

[littlekitty]

thats the theory....

 

But in reality you have to be 'the giving person' too and it is harder. Some girls/guys are happy to be in love only and dont realize it is hard work not to repel your SO.

 

Yep, I suppose that's true! My SO and I seem to have kept a good balance over time, I hope it remains that way going forward, but it never hurts to have a reminder!