Trying to figure out how to tell them

[Guest]

I recently went through a terrible week with my husband. On Monday he said it was over and wanted a divorce. By Wednesday, we decided that we should give it one more chance. In the meantime, I have called almost every family member, in tears telling them about the situation. I haven't had the courage to tell them about our change of heart.

 

I know that I need to because we will be spending a week with them over Christmas. I do not want to make him uncomfortable over the holidays. And he does not know that I called everyone crying. Any suggestions on how to let my family know and to make sure that things aren't uncomfortable durning Christmas???

[Guest]

That is your own fault. There is such a thing as discretion.

 

My mom does this too. She tells *everyone* what is going wrong in my life and then some are good enough friends to call and tell me what she said, and then I have to defend my own life against people who don't know all the facts, only the slanted version she gave them.

 

Particularly in the case of DIVORCE, I wouldn't discuss it except with one or two trusted people at the very most until the papers have actually been filed. You are just asking for nasty rumors to be going around for the next year or so and you husband may not feel so welcome over Xmas. You had better call them and tell them about the change of heart, that you two are trying to keep your marriage together and that you would appreciate it if they try their best to make him feel welcomed and loved as a family.

[shoesies05]

In the future i wouldn't tell people so fast, you never know what is going to happen. In the heat of things people do and say things they may not want, this was something at that time between you and him.

 

Tell your family that you are back together, I'm sure that they will be happy for you. I doubt that they want things to not work, things may be uncomfortable for a bit but isnt it worth having a good relationship between yoiu and your family?