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Been a month.....now what??


DazedAndConfused123

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DazedAndConfused123

Basic background is that my girlfriend of almost 3 years suddenly came to the conclusion that she was unhappy and needed "to take time apart" and re-evaluate our relationship.....which sounded a lot like a breakup to me. It was so hard at first but I decided going NC was best for me to figure myself out in the mean time and I really have become so much stronger.

 

At this point, I feel she's probably nervous to talk to me b/c I basically fell off the face of the earth (no AIM, myspace, etc.). Either way, it's been a month and I want to meet with her so badly and talk. I feel the cause of this was I was needy for a while and I sort of made her my world as opposed to being a big PART of my life. Of course I accentuated this feeling at the time of our break b/c I was overcome with emotion. Also our relationship got too comfortable and we lost that excitement. But in the mean time I have stayed very aloof and independent, so I don't think she has any idea what's going on with me....which is good b/c I discovered that time to myself was actually a great thing for a while.

 

I love this girl so much and I want her to know how much I love her. I feel like I want to send her flowers before we do meet up. Is this a needy thing to do or does it show love? All I want is for her to see me for what I am now and how much I have learned (by showing her of course). I fear all she knows is what used to be....but I genuinely feel like such a better person that it's obviously benefiting me, and I know it could springboard our relationship to something more special than it's ever been. I see this separation as a blessing in disguise....but being in NC for a month now, I feel things are probably awkward (at least for her) in even talking again at this point. What should I do????

 

thank you so much!

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You do nothing. Just because you've taken a month away from her doesn't mean anything has changed in her eyes and the only way to show her that something has is to stay aloof and keep up the NC. When she's ready she'll get in contact with you, until then just move on with your life. Don't worry, if you move away fast enough she'll be sure to want to catch up sooner or later.

If not? Psh, she's not worth it.

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DazedAndConfused123

Actually she did contact me a couple weeks ago....asking if maybe we could meet up and talk about things. Although it wasn't a very cheery email so it didn't make me feel too confident...but maybe that was me just being paranoid. Either way, I wrote her back and told her in a nice manner that we should meet later....as I know I was not very far along in the healing stages a couple weeks ago. I do feel much better now.

 

Now we are just kind of in limbo between her asking a couple weeks ago to talk with me delaying it....and now there hasn't been any contact for 2 weeks.

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She has tried but it was at the wrong time for you. Maybe you could send her a light Xmas message and ask if she would still like to meet.

 

However, be light and jokey not too serious and see what happens. If she still has feelings for you she will accept. If she was only contacting you for an ego boost then you will know from how she reacts.

 

Remember she ended it so you should go at your pace not hers.

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Well, if she's opened the door, and you asked to push the meeting until later, then the ball's really in your court.

 

So, if you want to meet with her, contact her and tell her so.

Lay everything on the table- tell her how you truly feel.

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