shoesies05 Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 So i broke up with my boyfriend. We had gotten back together for a while officially and were together unofficially for a while before that. We were talking and i just could never get over how confused i was: i was always scareed he would cheat again. always still hurting, but loved him so much i believed i could get over the pain. I still believe i could get over the pain, but i want to think it wont be a while until then. Well, we were talking and i realized that our dreams in life and our goals just dont match anymore, like they used to. I have always wantedd to travel the world, move from city to city for 1 yr. each or w/e. He is ready to settle, and we had always talked about traveling together. But he changed his mind. I dont want either one of us giving up on our dreams so i broke up with him. I also broke up with him because of the pain over him cheating months ago. Yet i still feel like we are meant to be. I like to believe in my heart that it will work someday sometime, but the timing is off. (Now isn't the time). Does anyone believe in things like that? That if its meant to be that it will be meant to be in the future also? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Would U Work With Him On This? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 this is what i am going to do about my situation - i want her back - no more nonsense. i am going to ask her directly, face to face, if she is with another - i will be a gentleman and bow out and not be a factor again. this woman knows me and what we could be - so, i am now able to walk away - and start elsewhere - i will not change later. jebus, love is not supposed to be like this - but if she is with another then i respect that. she can call the cops - this is the last time i will do this. i will not play this game with love and hearts when something special is in the balance - i messed up once - i will never again. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Quite honestly, I don't believe in the whole notion of fate or destiny when it comes to realtionships or anything else in life. I think there are many people out there suited to us- and many others that are not. If your bf cheated on you, it stands to reason that he isn't a great guy for you. I'm not saying that forgiveness is out of the question or that sometimes people make a once in a lifetime mistake... but think about how his cheating made you feel. Is that an ideal way for someone to feel in a relationship? If you believe too much in fate, then you start to forget that you have choices in life... and if everything was "beyond our control" that would make us all pretty helpless in the grand scheme of things. But having said that- I do believe in love. But you can love someone and still choose not to be with them. Or you can choose to be with someone who might potentially cheat or hurt you. I'm sure you love this person- but is he right for you? Perhaps you can use this break to really think about that. Just remember, that if you want to remain with this person, that you will have to forgive him for cheating. I mean truly forgive... otherwise the relationship won't work if that hurt remains unresolved. D Link to post Share on other sites
Author shoesies05 Posted December 21, 2006 Author Share Posted December 21, 2006 thanks for all the replies. I do believe in fate, but i believe that we make our own destinies. I dont want to feel the hurt from what he did in a relationship. I know that i will find someone someday who will love me the way i should be loved and vis versa. I do really love my ex, but what he did was too much. He got a new number not too long ago and i dont have it memoriezed, so i deleted it from my phone so that i would no longer try to get into contact with him. I think this will help me greatly to move on. Of course i do wish he was putting up more of a fight to keep me, but even if he does i just cant trust him anymore. For the guest: good luck, fight for her heart. Maybe she'll forgive you and you can get through this with her. Me, before i was willing to give it a try, but i feel silly now even thinking that i would want to be with a guy that could so easily hurt me. Link to post Share on other sites
Krying Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 I've posted on this alot. Fate, "meant to be" etc. These do play a part in our lives, but their importance is minimal. We make the decisions in our life. Us. Especially in relationships. We choose to act in a certain manner, behavior and so on. Asking if something was meant to be or not, as D-List said, throws out or negates our involvement. I would hope everyone would want to be the driving force in their life. Not fate, horoscopes or simply waiting around for things to happen. I think you'll be fine shoesies. Myself, I am weak at the moment and am desperately wanting and hoping my ex will come back to me. I have some intelligence and know this will not happen soon if ever. But it doesn't stop me from wishing it. My feelings are so strong, I simply cannot cut them off. Link to post Share on other sites
D-Lish Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 Krying, It's unfortunate that we can't choose how to feel... But it sounds like you have chosen how to react- and that says a whole lot about you. Choosing to do what you can to move on is definetely a step in the right direction. The holidays make it tough to deal with the loss of that familiar someone. I'm just annoyed and jaded with x-mas this year! Chin up- I've followed your story and you've made good progress! I'm going to stay in for x-mas and watch scary movies and eat junk food with my puppies. That's about all I can handle this year! :-) D Link to post Share on other sites
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