I Want Him Back

[faithsway]

About 3 months ago I broke off my engagement with the love of my life. It wasn't that I didn't love him, I just got really cold feet. Now I want him back. I have told him how i felt. He says that he still loves me and misses me but that he doesn't trust me to not do it again. I have explained my self to him and he says that he understands. We still talk, and hangout together in groups, and text through out the day. When it is just me and him he is very attentive, and acts normal. But when we are with are friends, he is kind of stand offish. He hasn't told me that it is completely over. He said that he is still trying to get over the miss trust and that he wants to be completely sure with himself that he wants to get back together. I am waiting patiently, but how much longer should I wait, and do you think it sounds hopeful. What should I be doing in the meantime, and how should I act around him.

[VeniceQueen]

Don't pressure him or rush things. It's hard to regain trust after someone has hurt you, but it's not impossible. He obviously still loves you and wants to try, but it's going to be a little hard for him to just jump back in right away. He's being cautious right now. Give it time, I'm sure things will get back to normal. Just continue trying to enjoy each other and rekindle what you once had.

 

I hope for the best for you two.

[ThatAin'tRight]

Well to be honest with you, I hope, for his sake, that you are sure and really do want to be with him. Because if you do it again, you have the real chance of ruining some one's belief in themselves. Most of the people here are on the other end, or so it seems, where they are hoping the dumper person comes back. I hope this guy takes a long hard look at you and your relationship and makes a decision that makes him feel good about his future.

You can promise him that your trustworthy all you want, all that will do is make him doubt you more. Don't ever bring it up again unless he does first, tell him the truth about why you left, then apologize your ass off and tell him you'll understand if he doesn't want to take you back...AND MEAN IT. Even if you did this already, do it one last time when you have his undivided attention.

Then leave him alone to figure out just what he wants. You burned him, and the real question isn't "how do I act around him", rahter it's "Do I actually deserve a second chance?"

I don't have an answer for you.

Try being yourself.

[Trialbyfire]

If you've "done him wrong", you'de better make it up to him by showing him consistency of caring, patience and honesty. Don't play games or he will read it and never trust you again.

 

Trust is hard to come by and even more difficult to get back. Good luck.

[D-Lish]

I agree with TBF,

 

It's the consistency that will pay off in the end.

Once someone has been hurt, they do what they need to do to protect themselves. He's already built a bit of a wall around himself in response to your break up... so it will take some time and patience to disarm him.

 

Just keep the pressuring to a minimum. In order to rekindle those trust and loving feelings- bring yourself back to the time when you first met... what did he love so much about you? Try to re-enact those early days, this will remind him of "safer" times.

 

D

[Guest]

I really think you should go out with a new man maybe one who is very rich like myself!!!

[pennyjosix]

I think there is still hope, and if you really want to be with him then you should wait until he tells you it's over. You have to regain his trust which will happen with patience and over time. If you just bail out because you think you've waited too long then he knows you aren't committed, and honestly you aren't if you do that.

[faithsway]

I think you are all right. I am willing to wait untill he tells me it is over. However, in the meantime, do you think it is ok to still text him now and then. Nothing important just a simple, just wanted to say Hi, or something like that, nothing that requires a responce.