VeniceQueen Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 I've been debating on whether or not to give my ex boyfriend a Christmas card. Or to just send him a friendly IM. I think I've ruled out calling him because I don't trust myself not to allow any emotion to show in my voice. He broke up with me a couple months ago, and the truth is, I really want him back. The holidays are making me miserable, thinking of all we shared last Christmastime. I am proud of myself though. I've only been talking to him when he initiates conversation, which has been more often lately. A couple weeks ago I decided I wouldn't be the one to go and talk to him. I realized there was no reasoning with him. So I gave him his space. And lately it seems like he's making silly excuses just to talk to me and has given me cute and even flirty comments, saying I looked nice that day or my hair looked pretty. I know he's not seeing anyone right now. I have no idea what to make of him contacting me. I don't know what I should do. I would feel really bad not saying "Merry Christmas" but maybe I should test him and see if he says anything first. Thoughts? Link to post Share on other sites
blind_otter Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 I wouldn't do it. It makes you seem desperate and weak. If you want to contact him, then do so, but don't use a holiday as an excuse. Link to post Share on other sites
CaliGuy Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 Don't do it, whatever you do. I agree with BO that you will be perceived as weak and it will just be even more of a turn off. I realize you miss him but unless his heart changes on it's own there is nothing you can do to change it and contact initiated by you will only make things worse. Link to post Share on other sites
Mythical Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 I also agree with them, my ex still us's Holidays as an excuse and it just makes me not want to talk to him more. If its something they don't want to receive i wouldn't do it. Link to post Share on other sites
neiu Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 I sent a card to an ex once and I got an email back with a few lines of jibberish that neither included the words merry, christmas, happy, new, year. Pretty much the lamest response you can get from someone. So, my opinion. Don't Do IT. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 19, 2006 Share Posted December 19, 2006 My Ex Lovesssssssssssssss Christmas - I Made Our First One Together Really Special. I Think She Will Remember It Always And Pass The Stories Down The Generational Ladder About 'the Christmas Old Stinky Popped His Cork' I Have First Rights To The Scream Play! Lol Link to post Share on other sites
phoenix21 Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I have to admit, today I mailed a Xmas card to my ex. The decision is up to you and you know your situation better than anybody. If you do send a card, I would make it simple and not use the word LOVE in there. However, if you do send a card, please don't expect anything back because that will just lead to you being disappointed. I don't expect anything back from my ex and even though if she didn't get me anything at all, I know I will be a little disappointed. But it won't be as bad as if I expected something and didn't get it. Whatever we say here, the final decision is up to you. I know it hard especially with the holidays. I feel the same way not being with my ex during this time of year. Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 bet she leaves off the mailing address - lol exactly, i think i mentioned this a while back - its not much but i did a painting of some grackles and only finished half and wanted her to finish the rest - is that too over the top to give to someone during the holidays? Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 I know that this is hard but if you had broken up with him then sending him a card would have been fine. But he broke up with you so I wouldn't send him anything and I would wait instead for him to contact you. That way you will feel much better and can respond when you are ready. If you love and miss him leave him alone to digest that you are not together and whether he REALLY wants you back. It will feel so much better if he contacts you. Link to post Share on other sites
Canuck2006 Posted December 20, 2006 Share Posted December 20, 2006 On the other hand, If you've kept in touch with the other person and have been sending them little things..like cards and small gifts and they seem responsive and are saying thanks...it was nice..i liked it kind of stuff, then by all means send a card or a gift for christmas. Just don't make it crazy or extravigant. That's too much. Think about that person and think about something they would like..something personal. Good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
SurferGirlTx Posted December 21, 2006 Share Posted December 21, 2006 I was in your shoes last year and sent my ex a Xmas card after we were apart 8 months. I got the response I was looking for - he emailed me then showed up on my doorstep. We got back together for a mere 2 months and went right back to the same crap as before. I regret sending him that card because I just opened up a can of worms all over again and prolonged the recovery process of getting over him. Fight the urge to contact your ex - you broke up for a reason. That reason will still be there and so will all the anger and resentments. I wasted way too much time going back to my ex and hoping for a different outcome. I prolonged the agony and look back now and wonder "What the hell was I thinking - YUCK!!!!". He repulses me now and I can't believe I was ever in love with someone so narcisstic and self absorbed! GROSS!!! YUK!!!! All of you will eventually get to this stage if you fight the urge to contact your ex. Trust me - you will and you'll be saying "What was I thinking?" if you just give it time! Link to post Share on other sites
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