should i tell

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

Right this may be a bit long so bear with me:

 

3 Years ago i started a new job, from day one this bloke (we'll call him Alfie) caught my eye and vica versa. on a night out we got closer and ended up kissing i thought it was a drunken snog as we were both married. well as you can guess 3 years down the line we still fool around, i left my husband (not because of alfie) but he's still with his wife. we have never actually had sex more of me giving oral and only about 3 times in 3 years him doing something to me.

 

We all went out last week and after a few drinks i told him i loved him, he said that if he wasnt married i'd be with him (although i said he was lying) he then told me he loved me (he was flirting and making comments to my mate as well) he's cheated on his wife twice (she's a bit of a mad woman who wont mind throwting a few punches) she told him if he cheats once more she'll kick him out for good. he's a serial flirt and wont mind straying. the thing is i have his home number and his wife's mobile number.

 

i'm going away in jan/feb and am tempted to text her while there from a different number (so he wont expect me) and tell her he's cheating. i am totally head over heels in love with him and have been for 3 years i cant stop doing things with him cos we work together and i love my job so dont want to leave.

[TheDC]

You are fooling yourself. You have admitted that he is a serial flirt and an inveterate cheat. What on earth makes you think that he wouldn't just end up cheating on you.

 

And if you text her she will accuse him of cheating and he will know it was you who dropped the dime on him, unless you aren't the only woman he is cheating with.

 

You need to stop being a dumbass and drop this guy muy pronto. And no there is no negotiating this away. That's your only option.

[GOT_A_PROBLEM]

well like i said thanks for your comments but i'm gonna do it

[stillafool]

I can't believe you actually believed him when he said he loved you!?!

This guy is only using your for oral sex. Why would you tell his wife what he's doing? Their relationship is none of your business. It certainly isn't going to make him leave her and come to you. It sounds like he doesn't even care enough about you to have intercourse with you. If you do tell his wife you will probably never see him again. You need to leave this man alone before you get physically hurt.

[Girlygirl74]

You are fooling yourself. You have admitted that he is a serial flirt and an inveterate cheat. What on earth makes you think that he wouldn't just end up cheating on you.

 

And if you text her she will accuse him of cheating and he will know it was you who dropped the dime on him, unless you aren't the only woman he is cheating with.

 

You need to stop being a dumbass and drop this guy muy pronto. And no there is no negotiating this away. That's your only option.

 

 

I agree 100%.

 

Although I see your mind is made up. Do you think that this is going to make things better between you two? He's sure to know that you're the one who made the call. I would bet that it's going to have the exact opposite effect that you're looking for. Insead of that marriage ending and him being with you...she's going to have a tighter grip on him and he'll be trying to prove to his wife that it isn't true.

 

I think before you go blowing the lid off this...you need to have a heart to heart with this man.

[BlueEyedSarah]

well like i said thanks for your comments but i'm gonna do it

Why bother comming onto the forum seeking advice if you are not going to listen to the good advice being told to you.

Telling this guys wife is going to cause you alot of problems and you are not going to get what you want out of it.

The guy is fooling around with you, having fun, sorry but it sounds like he doesn't love you, he is a cheating flirt and if you two did get together then what makes you think he wont do the same to you?

I don't mean to sound mean or harsh or mad or anything like that, but it does get me a little bit angry when you said your above statement that you are going to do it when TheDC has given you good advice to follow.

If your not going to follow advice that people give on here then why bother comming on here. Come back in a few months and tell us that the others advice on here was right or if we were wrong. I don't mean that to sound harsh but like I said it just gets me a little bit angry when people take time out of their life to read your post and reply to your post to try help you by giving you their experiences and/or advice and then you just write something that will give you trouble in your life. I think you are blinded by what you think is love. You are twisted up for too long in this guys game, you need to get out of it.

[Trialbyfire]

If you were doing this from a sense of responsibility for the wife, it would be one thing. You're doing this to be conniving and selfish. Do it and find out what happens afterwards if she feels vindictive.

[Girlygirl74]

I think this person is on here trying to stir things up. Posted the same thread here: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t107363/

 

It's a waste of time trying to give advice, they obviously don't want it.

[TheDC]

well like i said thanks for your comments but i'm gonna do it

 

Well if you are looking for our approval that isn't going to happen. If you are trying to clear your conscience that isn't going to happen either.

 

You think you love him? Fine. You think he loves you? I seriously doubt it.

 

You want to break up his marriage then be my guest, but don't come crying to us in a few months when you discover he has been cheating on you.

 

Reminds me of the fable of the scorpion and the frog.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Scorpion_and_the_Frog